Moving Through Pain, Releasing Shame + Using the Akashic Records - Episode 53

Today we’re welcoming back Victoria Nielsen, who is one half of the fabulous + magical Spirit Mamas duo. Victoria Nielsen is an Akashic Records Reader, Breathwork facilitator, intuitive energy healer, mama and author.

Her new book, "Find Your Way Home: Moving Through Miscarriage," is not only for anyone who has experienced the devastation of a miscarriage, but it is for anyone who wants to know there will be good again in their lives. Her vulnerability and wisdom have created a loving companion for anyone looking to reconnect to their inner light and up-level their every day.

We’re going to be talking about some of the universal truths and lessons she learned – and the tools, like the Akashic Records and Breathwork, that she used to not only come out of despair, but to shine brighter than ever.

Sign up today to pre-order Victoria’s Book "Find Your Way Home: Moving Through Miscarriage."

Visit spiritmamas.com to learn more about working with Victoria, purchase the Spirit Mamas Oracle deck, and their membership community.

You can also follow Spirit Mamas on Instagram.

Listen Victoria's first time on Seeking Center: Birth a New Version of Yourself with Help from the Spirit Mamas

Visit theseekingcenter.com for more from Robyn + Karen, plus mega inspo -- and the best wellness + spiritual practitioners, products and experiences on the planet!

You can also follow Seeking Center on Instagram @theseekingcenter

Transcript

Robyn: [00:00:00] I'm Robyn Miller Brecker, 

Karen: and I'm Karen Loenser. Welcome to seeking center. The podcast,

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Robyn: Today we're welcoming back Victoria Nielsen, who is one half of the fabulous and magical Spirit. Mama's Duo Victoria is an Akashic records reader, breathwork facilitator intuitive energy healer. Mama and now author her new book, find Your [00:01:00] Way Home. Moving Through Miscarriage is not only for anyone who has experienced the devastation of a miscarriage, but it is for anyone who wants to know there will be good again in their lives. Her vulnerability and wisdom have created a loving companion for anyone looking to reconnect to their inner light and up-level their every. We're going to be talking about some of the universal truths and lessons she's learned and the tools like the Akashic records that she used to not only come out of despair, but to shine brighter than ever. Hi Victoria. 

Victoria: Oh my gosh.

Hearing you say author. I had to take a moment and really go inward. It feels surreal, but also oh, finally yeah, that was meant to happen, . So thank you for giving me that beautiful moment of gratitude and reflection. . 

Robyn: we're so grateful to be talking to you about this we feel honored.

We're one of the first people to have read it 

Victoria: yeah, and I felt such a connection with you both last time that it felt so natural to share the book because not only did I know [00:02:00] that you would understand and resonate, but that your circle of love and readers and listeners would also really get it, because I feel like now is the time we were just talking about sharing our truth and our deepest things.

Maybe have brought us shame in our lives and how bringing that to the light has such a beautiful ripple effect to not only your life but the lives around you. To show people that it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to feel and emote and that's the way through anything. , 

Karen: Victoria. I can't wait to get into the book itself, but as you're talking, I'm thinking about what you said and resonating with the idea that, when you talk about a miscarriage, it is all about figuring out ways to begin again.

And so many people can relate to that, especially now. So I think that your story's gonna resonate with , more deeply with people than they realize. 

 It's. Such an honor for us to help launch this, I think as women just wanting to be there for you as you're quote unquote, giving [00:03:00] birth to this new baby of a book which is gonna go off into the world and have a life of its own.

Robyn: That's beautifully said Karen. And I actually also wanted to just touch on the word that you just used, Victoria Shame, because I too have had a miscarriage. And I think that's a word that it does describe some of what we feel as women who go through that.

Victoria: I felt like my body betrayed me.

I felt like I did something wrong and there was a lot of shame in that. And then there was a lot of shame afterwards of, not being able to get pregnant right away. I don't know about you guys, but growing up, I was basically told if a man looks at you the wrong way that you could get pregnant.

And then here when you're really trying, you're like, what the heck? is really hard and. Maybe feel okay talking to a couple girlfriends, you maybe don't even feel okay talking to your spouse about it, and you just have all of these feelings swirling that I think are natural and that shame, it's just something I think that's [00:04:00] unfortunately ingrained in women.

But when. We can name it and then we can choose again. I think that's when we can begin to rise above it. I think feeling it is part of the process, but then not holding onto it. And saying, okay, I recognize that you're here. Shame you're at the party. Cool. Okay, so it was maybe despair and grief and anger and some of those other low vibration emotions, but how can you make friends with them and invite them in instead of saying, oh no.

I don't wanna feel that because it's gonna get buried somewhere in the body and your body is gonna remember how you treated it in that moment of shame, whether you chose to give it love or you chose to really believe that false story. 

Karen: I love to name it and choose again.

That is really a deep thought that I think everybody can resonate with. Victoria, can you just talk about your journey and what happened 

Victoria: Absolutely. So I was pregnant in 2018 first pregnancy.

We got pregnant very [00:05:00] quickly. Everything was fine at the first ultrasound, 

and we went and traveled. We went to Turkey. We had a great time. We came back and were at the next appointment around eight or nine weeks, and the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat with a Doppler, and so I thought nothing of it. I was like, okay, a's in a weird position.

And we had to go to the ultrasound room and she just turned to me and said, there's no, he. And I said what I mean, you think of a miscarriage and you think of all the gore and the blood and I didn't have any of that. And it had just never crossed my mind that could be a possibility.

you hear about other people, of course. You're like, oh no, everything's great. And I think because I didn't have that physical thing happen I was really in disbelief and the worst of it was, I had to have a D N C procedure and everyone was great, but the day after the procedure waking up, My boobs still hurt. I still clutched my stomach as if there was a baby in there and I won't say I found the light right away because that would be very untrue. I raged [00:06:00] and was full of grief and sadness for a while until I finally, one day, I remember falling to my knees outside of my door one day and just saying, I surrender.

I didn't even know to what, like I wasn't religious. I didn't pray, but I wanted. Feel this way anymore. And so I made little choices throughout the day to pick up, a high vibrational book to move my body in the morning. I kept getting guided towards the Akashic records. I didn't even know what they were and I.

Was listening to a podcast and just this idea, the records are really just a higher perspective and something that absolutely anyone can access at any time for guidance and wisdom, and that was the turning point for me, being able to access that energy and that frequency. Every single day, multiple times a day, if I needed it could allow me to, like we just said, choose again.

So if I was feeling that deep sense of grief opening the records, I could feel lighter for a few minutes, a few hours, a few days until. [00:07:00] Little by little, I had crawled out of this whole of grief and I hadn't even realized it. And along the way I realized that I had this kind of spiritual awakening of sorts and was now far more in touch with myself and.

The universe and higher energy than I think I ever intended to be . But it was a really beautiful thing because then I started to see all of the synchronicities and all the ways that I was supported and it became much easier to believe that I could get pregnant again to have the hope. And I think that's, if nothing else that anyone gets from the book or from my message, The hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that they too will find their happiness. And the woman I am today is leaps and bounds different than that woman from five years ago and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Robyn: One of the things that we talk about and.

We've been leaning into more and more is this idea of feeling and leading with your [00:08:00] heart and allowing yourself to feel. And when we talk about that, it sometimes mean feeling the pain and feeling the grief, and that takes so much strength. to actually do it. But on the other side of that, there's joy, there is light and and I are always talking about how that is the experience of life.

 Isn't that why we're here? Even though, most of us are always Protecting and waiting to, to protect ourselves from feeling pain. Can you talk about that for a moment in regards to what 

Victoria: you're talking about? Yes, because I've been there for years.

I numbed myself to life because I didn't wanna feel, because I had been told growing up, I was too emotional, I was too much. And so it was easier to, to drink or to smoke, or to go party, or, all the things. Even distracting yourself on your cell phone is a form of distraction.

And so with this miscarriage, there was just something inside of my soul, my heart, most likely, that said, you need to do this [00:09:00] consci. , you need to feel this because if you don't, it's not gonna go away and it's not really going to heal. And so I chose even on the heart of days to not numb myself, to not seek that soulless in something outside of myself.

And I truly believe that was the biggest game changer and the reason. I don't think about my miscarriage anymore. And that may be awful to say to someone that's in the midst of it. And I honor where they are in their journey, but it doesn't define me. And I honestly struggled with even making the book about miscarriage because I feel like such a different person.

But that's the point, right? Like allowing myself to feel that spectrum of emotions brought me here. And exactly like you said, robyn. We're here to feel that contrast. . it's not easy. It's really dang hard some days. My goodness. . 

Robyn: It's so much easier to just get up, do the same thing over and over, keep yourself super in quotes, busy, so that you don't have to do the hard soul [00:10:00] work, which to your point, a. , it is a choice. It makes me wanna cry cuz I can feel even from you how hard those hard days were. But then I can see the light, literally there's light all around Victoria right now as she's talking to us.

and that is the point it can be scary. , it's all those things, and I think about Karen who's shared before, a lot of what she's gone through in life Karen, when giving birth, almost died and saw her own son go through, a cancer journey.

Karen: I'm feeling. Almost, I'm going back in time and just reliving your story a little bit, which I think in a way is always good because you do see how far you've come. But I was also just thinking about how when you go through especially a miscarriage, I think of almost more than some other things.

There's not necessarily the support system for. That people don't know what to say. It's like a death. And yet for others looking in who haven't gotten through the experience, it's not, it's oh you can try again. You'll have another I just don't think that people understand the depth that.[00:11:00] 

a mother can feel and you actually brought it to life even more about thinking about you can't disconnect from your own body. So how do you trust your body again, to be able to go through that experience and not give into the fear of what could happen again? So there's it's almost like you can't escape the fear if you wanna have another child.

You have to walk 

Robyn: the 

Victoria: walk through. Yeah, you have to walk through the fire. I was anxious every single appointment. after that, and I share in the book. I found breath work around then, and that really was helpful. But that little seed was there, that kernel was there and I truly don't think I was necessarily ready to get pregnant again.

It happened, thankfully, but I hadn't worked through all of the emotions and so I do know during my pregnancy I was. My heart was elevated at the office every time, I didn't think worst case scenario, but I definitely had a lot of anxiety and a lot of postpartum anxiety that now having birthed my second healthy boy.

there's a [00:12:00] huge shift in the knowledge that I can do it and really leaning into the practices ahead of time. So I approached pregnancy and getting pregnant. Very different with my second child than with my first. I did all of the conscious things. I was meditating. I did a juice cleanse. I did all of the things to prepare myself and to nurture.

So that if things were to go awry again, I knew I was gonna be okay but better than where I had landed the first time around. 

Karen: Can I ask you about the Akashic records experience and what led you to that and what was your aha moment around that led you to feel that was a safe place for you to trust whatever messages you 

Victoria: got there.

So it's so funny. at the time was not even really following signs from the universe, but in an Oracle deck I had, I kept pulling the Akasha card and I was like, okay, that's interesting. And then I had just started listening to spiritual podcasts and my now mentor was a guest on that podcast. And I was like okay.

[00:13:00] Again, interesting. I'm gonna just book a reading with her. I don't know why, but I was like let's just do it. She had something available, I think the very next day, and in just her opening the records, it's an energetic frequency, so of course the messages from her were comforting.

She said, I was gonna be a mother. She actually even envisioned me leading circles of women before Spirit Mamas was even born. And I was like, yeah, okay. I had no clue what she was talking about, , and she described it so viscerally and I was able to tap into the feeling and the visions that she was getting, it wasn't until the end of the reading she said, oh, by the way, I have a training that starts next week where you can learn how to read your records. Would you be interested? And I was like, actually yes, I would be. And it was during the work day, like it was all these things that I was like, there's no way I can make this work.

But I was able to, and I think the aha moment for me was being able to tap into it at any. that I could be feeling really icky and need some type of knowing or love, and [00:14:00] support. And so it was there for me at any moment, at any time, at three in the morning when my mind was racing in the middle of the workday.

any time I needed it, it was there. And I really came to see it as a trusted companion and, , the relationship ebbed and flowed based on my ability to trust. So the more I trusted, the more I received, and I was actually able to connect as well with. A female spirit who I think she's still out there, but she was a baby of mine that came through clear as day to speak to me and tell me that, her brothers were coming, that everything was fine, that she was gonna come one day And just having that direct connection to her spirit for sure was above and beyond anything I had ever experienced. 

Robyn: That's 

Victoria: magical. and she's still not here. both of her brothers. I was like, it's a girl. And it was boys both times. So Whether she just was meant to guide on the other side, I still feel like she will physically come in at some point.

But yes, [00:15:00] it was magical. . 

Robyn: That is quite the sign. And in terms of you trusting what you're hearing and seeing and going through that workshop that you went through, is your opinion that everybody can do this? If someone's drawn to what you're talking about and interested, how did they even start? 

Victoria: that's one of my favorite things to do. I help women learn how to open their Akashic records now, but it's really just coming from a place of love and opening yourself up and raising your vibration. In a way.

there's a prayer that you say to open the records. I have now formed my own prayer from working with them, but you can use one from someone else or in a book. I actually have one in the book as well, and you just say the prayer, open your heart and then just start asking questions and it can feel a little.

Like screaming into the void. At first you're like, am I actually doing this? Am I not doing this? And I tell my students trust and dispel any disbelief. That's the only way this is gonna work. you come into this your mind is naturally gonna wanna second guess. [00:16:00] But we do a lot of automatic writing at first so that you're able to turn off the mind as best you can and just let the pen flow.

And many times you'll see the handwriting doesn't look like. And the words that come through are in your vocabulary and are in your awareness because it is your energy, but they'll be presented maybe in a way that you wouldn't normally say. Or depending on who you're connecting to. So the Akashic records could be your ascended masters who have never had an earthly body and tend to speak from the higher realms of, you are love, you are light, those kinds of things.

Then you have your teachers that are specific to you and then your loved ones, and so any loved ones that come through. You may recognize how they talk because you have met them in your life, or you may not. They just may identify themselves as someone in your lineage, but I absolutely know that anyone can do it and that it is of course not gospel.

So I also tell my students, don't get so [00:17:00] attached to what you hear. They're mutable. The records are based on your energy. So any energetic work that you do to change your frequency, any choices that you make will change the outcome. I love to tell the story that Sebastian, when I asked, they said he was gonna be a Sagittarius.

He's a Capricorn. But I wanted that tangible, when is he gonna be born? When is he coming? And the records knew I needed that in that moment. to feel better and move forward. And so was the information quote unquote accurate? No, but the records will tell you what you need to know in the moment, and that's what I love about them.

They are never going to share anything with you that isn't pertinent for you to know right then and there. 

Karen: Did you ask specific questions about the miscarriage when you went into the records? 

Victoria: I did. So it was a lot of energy clearing and it was so that I could better work on myself and awaken before my children came earth side.

and I truly believe that [00:18:00] Rocky, my son that's here now, it was his soul. He volunteered to come wake mommy up, , and then decided to come back around, and that's really what it was. I had a lot of energy stuck in my womb that needed to clear before I could be a true vessel for their energy, in the highest love and in the highest light.

And it was the awakening that I needed because not that I was going down a bad path by any means. I was numb to life 

. And that was enough that my soul said, okay, nope, you're here for more than that.

You're here to thrive and not just survive. And oh yeah. They were all working on the other side to make it happen. And 

Robyn: I think the other thing that people listening. Should take into consideration is that in your case it was a miscarriage, but in every person's life and on their journey it may be something different that breaks them open.

 The way that you're explaining it, how you chose to really go through that experience, someone else can. A similar path, but with such a different [00:19:00] circumstance. it doesn't have to be a miscarriage, it may be something else in your life. 

Victoria: Exactly. It could be some other form of grief.

Someone's death or diagnosis or truly anything. I believe that the universe is always throwing you little pebbles to redirect your path. And if you see them and you listen to them, great. If you are ignoring them, the pebbles are gonna get bigger. And they're gonna get harder to ignore. And I don't want to believe that it has to be something painful that can wake you up.

It could be something beautiful too, but I think as humans we're very attached to suffering. And that for a lot of us, it is something painful that wakes us up. 

Karen: Yeah. The pain gets our attention enough, To make us stop. and turn back inward, which is what happened to you really reaching for those universal tools that we were born with, literally, that maybe we just either haven't looked for, haven't been introduced to, or haven't been ready to experience.

And so that's really what your experience was. And I think every. Hard, terrible [00:20:00] situation. Always has that opportunity embedded in it somewhere. It's just, we have to have the courage to look for it. And thank goodness that you did, cuz now you're able to share this with so many people who also need the same guidance and those same tools.

Victoria: I love that word courage cuz I think it's really true. And I wanna remind anyone listening, that's all it. I'm no better. I'm no different. You can. Get through anything that life throws at you with that courage. And I think talking about it helps a lot as well. I didn't know so many women in my life had miscarriages until I was open about it.

And I think that goes for anything in your life that you know may be terrible or taboo. Opening it up and talking about it allows you to see you're not the only one that's experienced this big bad. 

Robyn: Totally. And what made you want to share it and really create the book in the way that you did?

Because the format of it is so unique, oh, I 

Victoria: love that the poems came first. [00:21:00] So the majority of the book are poems and just words from the heart that I went back and looked at my journals. Four years ago until now. And I found that after a meditation practice, a movement practice, anything where I was really tapping back into myself, I just had these words pour out of me.

And some of them are really angry and some are really joyful and some are really powerful. And I knew I wanted to share that because that, to me, felt really potent because I actually turned to books of poetry because I couldn. Put to words what I was feeling, or I didn't feel like I was eloquent in putting them to what I was feeling.

And so I found poem books to read and highlighted ones that I loved over and over again. And so I loved that. That's how I healed. And when I wrote down my entire story, that's when I noticed, oh, there are these themes. Finding and following your intuition of moving your body, of using these specific [00:22:00] tools.

And so it felt really nourishing to have a lot of those tools at the back of the book to then help people move through. And it is, stuff as spiritual as the Akashic records, but also as practical as dancing and moving your body . I think we think it has to be this hard thing, or you have to be meditating for hours at a time.

and that's not the case. I think the most connected I felt was actually putting on, Spotify and dancing around the room for a couple of songs. I felt reconnected to the body that I felt had betrayed me, and instead I realized it was still carrying me forward. It was still moving me, it was still caring for me, even though.

cursing it and hating it, , and giving it all of these bad vibes. It was like, that's okay. I'll take all that on for you and then I'll help you move through it. 

Robyn: Most people don't give themselves permission to actually put on their music and dance for a few minutes, Even if they're not going through something so difficult, just on any given day, putting that [00:23:00] music on and dancing actually just reconnects you to your body and. This planet. There's something about it, and we forget that as we get older, so that reminder, even just that no matter what you're going through on any given day, do it.

I make it a practice myself, . 

Victoria: I love it. And involve the kids too. We have dance parties regularly. Yes. 

Robyn: We were just doing that in my house this weekend. My daughter wasn't feeling. And I was like, I know you're not feeling great, but get up. and we put on E D M bangers.

I don't know what it was. It was literally called e d m banger Station . And we dance for a good 10 minutes, we were laughing. And there's something, whatever you need, right? Whatever that music needs to do for you.

Sometimes it's to cry. We needed to laugh I was just thinking that too. 

Karen: I think the other side of it is sometimes you have to let it out we're always so quick. It's okay, what do I to do next? What is the next thing to cross off the list?

And we don't allow ourselves to really sit for just a moment and, feel our way through our feelings. It's so important to feel those [00:24:00] feelings and to release them. 

Victoria: Oh, yeah. If you had been at my house yesterday, Ooh I think I cried most of yesterday, honestly.

And it was just, I'd had a bunch of anger and kind of rage building the day before. , it culminated in this release that I do cry in front of my kids so that they know it's normal. But it got to the point where I looked at my husband and I was like, I'm gonna go lay down and I'll be back when I'm ready.

And he was like okay. . But now I feel great today. And I needed that release. And tears are medicine. Movement is medicine. Giving ourselves these things that we need. It's not selfish, it's mandatory, especially as moms life is hard enough. Why do we have to torture ourselves? I don't know.

I wanna feel as good as I can, as often as I can for as long as I can. And if I need to cry first to get to that place, course, I'm gonna do it . 

Robyn: And you touched on breath work. How do you incorporate that into your life now? And for those who don't know what breath work is, can you talk about that for 

Victoria: a sec?

Yeah, so breath work is really [00:25:00] just moving the breath within the body, so we have nadis or energy channels that are all throughout the body and tapping into even just a simple inhale. And exhale can completely reset your energy can shift, you can ground you and allow you to feel a bit more centered. And so my practice ranges from.

Literally just taking a deep breath when I need it to. Sitting and doing a full sequence of breath, I share a couple of my favorites. The back of the book, fists of Anger is a great one, to move that energy up and out. But I also can find just putting my hands over my heart and taking five deep, full belly breaths.

 Really become a cornerstone of my day as a mom and allows me to stop and pause and not react, and instead. course there are days I still react. I'm not perfect , but it allows it to happen a lot less often and I think the breath is one of the most [00:26:00] underrated tools that we have. And it's free.

It's absolutely free you can stop and take a deep breath. When was the last time that you took a deep breath? 

Robyn: Just now when you just and it's two 30 in the afternoon here, so there you go. Yeah. 

Karen: Another one that I've learned that I do, I don't know why, but it comes naturally to me, is hum.

just humming around the house can be a really cool way to breathe to vibrationally and energetically align I'm not a dancer. I'm like looking at you two going jealous. But I do hum a lot of humming. 

Victoria: That is a good reminder, Karen. That's one of the most soothing things that you can do.

One of my favorite breath works is humming. It's called be's breath, where you are not knocking together but your vibrating, I should say, your molars, and it sends a vibration through your body. And really the key for humming or breath work or dancing or any of it, is that you are allowing your nervous system to relax.

And to reset. That's [00:27:00] really the key through any of this, because we are in such a constant state of hyper arousal. and if you're a mom, it's amped up on steroids and your body can only take so much of that before it's gonna rebel. And so taking that time to calm the parasympathetic nervous system is really important because if not, then you stay suspended in fight or flight and then you're not really.

Experiencing life. You are waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Robyn: And just asking us when was the last time Karen and I really acknowledged our breath today. Isn't it strange that we don't do it?

 It's a really easy, important reminder for everybody 

Karen: And it's a great thing to teach our children.

You can teach them all these things, even showing them that you cry. All of these things that will give them the coping skills that they need robyn came up with this question. I hope you don't mind me stealing it and asking, but I wanna make sure we ask it, which is. What would you tell Victoria that was in that dark place?

Robyn: What would you say to her? 

Victoria: That she is [00:28:00] enough and that she is worthy, and that all of the feelings that she has inside, although they feel like a tsunami right now, they will settle again and that she didn't do anything wrong. that this was just something that happened and that she is loved and supported and that it's okay to feel good again.

 That feeling happiness doesn't mean that she has forgotten this little baby. Mothers never forget and instead can that happiness and that joy. be a beautiful reminder of that baby instead of the other way around. Can she let that lead the way instead of the suffering or the sadness? 

Robyn: No, I'm crying

Victoria: I pictured my inner child a lot when I. Was moving through the miscarriage and after, but also writing the book. I pulled actually an Oracle card from our spirit, mama's Oracle, to communicate with the book when I was first writing it. And the inner child card is what I [00:29:00] pulled and it felt so perfect because.

I was really healing and speaking to that little girl, Victoria that had always wanted to be a mother and had always dreamed of this happening. And then her, oh, her dreams are crushed, and I gave her a lot of love, and that made it a lot easier to not be so hard on myself because when I pictured myself as that little girl with bangs and pigtails I didn't wanna be mean to her. I didn't want her to feel shame. I didn't want her to feel sadness. And so that became something that I did regularly to give back to myself in a way that I. Really hadn't before because all of us have a little inner child in us that wants to play and love and laugh.

And that's another thing, when was the last time you connected with that little girl, the little Karen and the little robyn inside? Because she has a lot to say and it tends to always be joyful. 

Robyn: Yes, and actually I've actually been thinking about Little robyn a lot, [00:30:00] lately and asking her what she wants to do And I'm so glad you brought that up because I also think it is such a good tool when also dealing with other people who may be challenging in your life. I feel like we don't often think about that little person in. Person's being and how that's really who's screaming out inside there. And so you may be dealing with someone who's just so disconnected from that.

And remember that when you're dealing, with someone who comes across so abrasive or aggressive or is trying to invoke fear within your own. , think about what's going on really in their world, and also think about your that little person inside yourself.

And how would they have dealt with them? Because I think we really come out and those little Victorias and little Karens and little robyns, they're really looking at the world wide-eyed with light and with. They are not looking at it with so much fear at that point.

And so we have to be reminded of that., I love that you've been nurturing [00:31:00] that and that you're reminding others to do 

Victoria: that as well. I'm working with my inner teenager lately too. She's not as nice , but she also needs love . 

Robyn: They really, you know what having a teenager right now you recognize how much nurturing they need.

because that fear is just taking over. It you have to feel 

Karen: sorry for them in a way, because, like you were saying, robyn, we come in with such love. I you even think about the worst person you could imagine in your mind. Start it off as that sweet little baby, and we're taught by.

World that we live in, unfortunately, out of that love very often. And so I feel like your teenager, that teenager they're angry because they're becoming part of this world of which they know they are not that. And so there's a part of them that is fighting that, which is why I think they rebel and they wanna do their own thing because they're like, no, that is not the world that I am.

It's just the world that I'm living in. And so I, I always feel that with these teens. And that's why I think they have so much to teach us because they can remind [00:32:00] us of who we really are. 

Robyn: on. And Victoria, when you're working with your inner teenager, are you helping to heal that part 

Victoria: of.

Absolutely. I've been drawing with my non-dominant hand, so I don't know, I read somewhere that doing that helps rewire parts of the brain, and so I write affirmations with my left hand. I draw my pictures with my left hand, but I also have moments where I play the music that I really loved at that age.

And actually the other day, I had a. where I was journaling and my body remembered before I remembered because I used to sit on my bed, on my stomach, with my hand a certain way. Writing about how terrible the world was, or the boys that didn't like me or whatever it was. And I found myself in that exact position with my body and I started just crying.

and exactly what you said, Karen, I felt so bad for that girl who hated her body and hated, her life. And it was this real healing moment for me that came because a, I gave myself the space to be journaling [00:33:00] and to do it, but then my body also gave me that gift because it remembered that exact position, and it was just something that it did naturally.

While I was concentrating on that teenage version of me, and I think too the anger that we talk about, it has its place, I think in Teenage Victoria it was a lot of unbridled anger. But now, as this older version of me, can I use it to invoke positive change? Can I use it to again, be that catalyst instead of.

having it just be, oh, she's angry and it's bad. I don't know. Lately I've been working a lot on labels, so good and bad. What are they? They're just a construct that someone decided. So can I take that back and say, okay, anger is just anger. Just like fear is fear and happiness is happiness, and how can I then move forward from that place in a positive?

Oh, that itself is a great conversation. Yes, 

Robyn: I agree. I would ask for people who are listening who are in a [00:34:00] darker place at the moment, and we've talked about a lot of ways actually to step out of that dark place. What would be the first thing you would suggest for somebody out of what we talked about?

Or maybe it's something we haven't, just to start cracking the door open for the. The 

Victoria: door for me, and I think the easiest for anyone to approach is journaling. Getting those words out on paper. It doesn't even have to be words. It could be angry scribbles, whatever it is, but taking a second to. Put all of that on the page is really important.

It's that little crack to acknowledging how you feel, if that even feels too far. I honestly feel like a rage scream is a great place to start. And again, that that feels a little ooh, but really letting yourself Primly scream moves so much and allows you to. Acknowledge how big this thing is that you feel, and afterwards I would be amazed if you didn't feel at least a little [00:35:00] bit better.

Robyn: Yeah, I agree. And when you don't allow yourself to do that, it just builds up so much and then, . You don't know how you're gonna really explode . 

Victoria: Yeah. Or stomping your feet even. That was one when I used to have a tantrum when I was younger.

I couldn't express it, and so I would stomp my feet. It's something my husband makes fun of to this day, but it's a great way to move your energy. So I think those are probably my three favorite options. Stamping your feet. Really jumping, going for. Primal Scream or journaling, and it could be that little baby step process, right?

You can start with one-on-one, day one the next. You may start the primal scream in a pillow until you get to the point where you're ready to put it out into the world, but you can't let it stay within your energy and within your. , it needs a way out. And so whatever feels like that little release on the tea kettle, Because to your point, robyn, the tea kettle's gonna go off and you can choose whether it's gonna explode shrapnel into everyone around you, or it's gonna be just a little poof because you've let off [00:36:00] enough steam for it to not explode. So how can people 

Robyn: work with you now, Victoria? 

Victoria: So you can visit spirit mamas.com and see what we've got going on, but I have.

One-on-one clients that I work with, using the exact practices in the book for four, six, and 12 month periods. I do one-off Akashic records readings, but I really love when someone works with me for a longer period because then I can share all of the tools in my tool chest and figure out what works for you and a process that works for your life and allows you to.

Own and be your own healer because that's the key. I can't heal it for you. I can hold your hand and I can give you the space and support, but you have to be willing to go on the journey and do the work. And so if that's you and your listening, I would love to hear from you info@spiritmamas.com to inquire or on Instagram at Spirit dot Mamas.

And I'm so grateful for you ladies. This is, 

Robyn: [00:37:00] Just a 

Victoria: beautiful reminder that these conversations, yes, promote the work, but are also so healing in and of themselves. They 

Robyn: are, and I love the title of your book, find Your Way Home, moving Through Miscarriage because. even if it wasn't moving through miscarriage it could be for people listening, whatever you're moving through, for you, it was moving through miscarriage, but that idea of finding your way home is so important.

And that is the point and that is what you're helping people do. And so if people wanna find the book, which comes out on March 2023, where should they go for that? 

Victoria: So they can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, whatever. Book retailer they would like to purchase from it will be available there.

And you can also visit spirit mamas.com for the additional exercises and things that are part of the book. So we have some breathwork videos to accompany everything. And I am also helping a smaller group of women that wanna [00:38:00] learn how to read their own records. We're gonna launch that shortly in the next couple of months to accompany the book.

Karen: I also just wanna say, Victoria, I use your cards the spirit mama cards. Every single day. Yes. 

Robyn: Every day. 

Victoria: Yes. That makes my heart so happy. . 

Karen: I adore them. They're so beautiful and they're, it's literally the first, I pick three every day, and it's the the first of the three that I always picked.

For some reason, it always just sets the tone and the rest of them. Fill in the message, but yours is just, it's it's such a powerful way to start my day and I just always feel so nurtured by those. So thank 

Robyn: Yeah, so You can also purchase the Spirit Mamas oracle deck on spirit mamas.com as 

Victoria: well.

Yes. And Amazon and hopefully other large retailers soon. Yes. Just crossed . Yay. 

Robyn: That's awesome. Thank you so much, Victoria. Thank you guys. I feel like this conversation can help people no matter what they're going through. There was so much in there to help release and celebrate the light that is [00:39:00] in all of us.