Seeking Center: The Podcast

“Bad Day” Makeover + Why “That Shit” May Be A Gift - Episode 77

• Robyn Miller Brecker and Karen Loenser • Season 2 • Episode 77

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Have you found yourself in a place where you're finding it hard to see the light? Are you in a situation where you feel there's no way out and that you have no choice? Or perhaps you're simply just having a “bad day?”

We're diving into our own “real life stuff.” In a very real conversation, we're sharing our own experiences and how we tackle the challenging moments when days get tough. We offer some of our go-to tips, tools and resources for turning it all around and as we like to say, “make that shit a gift.”

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Robyn: [00:00:00] I'm Robyn Miller Brecker, 

Karen: and I'm Karen Loenser. Welcome to seeking center. The podcast,

Robyn: join us each week as we have the conversations and weed through the spiritual and holistic clutter for you, we'll boil it down to what you need to know. Now 

Karen: we're all about total wellness, which to us needs building a healthy life on a physical, mental, and spiritual level.

We'll talk to the trailblazers who will introduce you to the practices, products, and experiences. That may be just what you need to hear about to transform your life. 

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Robyn: have you found yourself in a place where you're finding it hard to see the light? Or you're in a situation where you feel there's no way out and that you have no choice, or perhaps you're simply having an in quotes bad day. We're here to talk about what to do to turn it all around [00:01:00] and to make that shit a gift, as I like to say. So Karen, let's start with the impetus of this episode. I'm 

Karen: already feeling it in my solar plexus as we're talking about it because, We love what we do, we love what we talk about, but there are days when life just. Bites us in the butt and no matter how hard we try, it just come and lands in a really difficult way for me, my bad moment, bad day really came out of the blue. I didn't see it coming at all, which I think is why it hit me so hard.

I had been to Sedona. I had been doing this incredible energy work. I was really good. And a few sort of aha moments struck me, and I'll be really honest, some of them hit me. In the ego, it was all about, am I doing the right thing? Is my life in the right place? How I made the right decision was really questioning a lot of things, and it was also comparing myself to other people and it put me down a pretty slippery slope of anger which is not.

Normal for me. I don't know how to profess anger. I don't know how to cope with anger. And I [00:02:00] showed up on a Monday morning call for coffee with Robyn, as I always do, Mondays are tough, but usually in a pretty good mood. And right away she felt it. And almost cut me off by saying, you know what, we don't need to have a conversation now if you don't want to.

But through that experience, really working through it, articulating, talking it, we were able to find some really good nuggets that really shifted my energy back. So we thought it would be really good to do a podcast around that, in case you 

feel that way too. 

Robyn: We were finding in both of our personal lives in addition to ourselves there were people, who were feeling frustrated. Feeling upset, feeling angry.

And in each situation they were these opportunities to turn things around and really look at things from a different perspective, which is what we hope to do today. And really, as Karen said, at the end of that conversation, we were so grateful. 

It didn't mean that everything went away, But you could feel the energy shift. And I do wanna bring up energy in general, and I know we've talked [00:03:00] about it on our podcast many times. But I do still find that people are still asking, what do you mean? by energy?

I really don't get it. And so I just wanna take that moment and ask you listening right now. To describe what it feels at this moment. So if you're listening to this in your car or on a walk or in your house while you're doing a bunch of other stuff, 

what does it feel like around you? Do you feel peaceful? Are you in a rush? What is it? Classify what that feels like, because That is frequency and energy can change form. So we don't always all stay at that same level of energy. throughout our day. I would say Karen and I strive to stay in a place of gratitude and joy and flow.

 You can feel a specific energy. I think people have specific energy and so when it feels off, so for instance, there's a specific energy around Karen that's usually for me, it's like this bright white light, and [00:04:00] she always brightens the situation even on a Monday morning where maybe we're not at our brightest, but we're and so you can feel that shift in energy. It feels tangible, and we've become good at articulating what that feels like. And so for you listening, we want you to get better. If you're not already at articulating, what does it feel like around you? What does someone in your life bring to you when you're with them?

Whether that's someone within your family, a friend, a coworker. If you haven't thought about it before, start thinking about it now. ' cause then it all relates into what we're talking about, how you can shift that energy and you can start looking at things from a different perspective. 

Karen: I love 

that. I think many of us too are also energy sponges and we may not know that.

We could wake up feeling really good about the day and then by the time we get in our car, get into traffic, then get into wherever we are at the grocery store. School work, wherever it may be, and then we've already picked up on all the energy that's going on around us and don't even [00:05:00] realize that we're carrying that with us.

Then let alone all of the energy that we do realize we're taking in of our families, our partners, our coworkers, all of That is always. In relation to them, and I think that I go back to ego in that sense too. I think we tend to always go there and compare, are they happy with me?

Are they not happy with me? We're spending so much time in that inner anxiety of judgment that we can't even think about half the time what we are really thinking about in our own minds. The other thing I think is. I'm guilty of very often, especially when I have time with my thoughts is getting into that spiral of letting my conscious mind, my ego mind, talk about.

All those. Things. And then getting into the spiral and finding it difficult to get outta that at times. And I find that when I can connect with Robyn, or we're gonna give you some positive things, there's these opportunities and it's always where your power is to make that choice of, am I gonna continue?

Which is easy to do and sometimes it feels like in a strange way, good, you wanna be [00:06:00] there, you wanna wallow in that, but the more you're in it, The harder it can be to climb out of the muck and mire of that. And then we also know that's where your experience is. Your energy attraction is gonna come back to you.

So the more you're thinking about that, the more muck and mire you're gonna get yourself into. So it's so important to try to find ways to readjust your thoughts and pivot and bring them back 

Robyn: to the light that's such. So there's two things I wanna say. One is what you just said about. How energy attracts other energy.

And so if you're at a certain frequency and you're thinking certain things, it's gonna attract more of that. So if you can change your thoughts, change your energy to be on a different vibrational level, even though you can't see it, but you can feel it, you're gonna attract more of that vibrational level, which feels better.

So there's that. And then the other part is just coming back to. How we started talking about this and what was happening for you because you were doing so much work and you were digging really [00:07:00] deep. And if you've joined any of our sessions that we've been doing for free with Lizzie as a group, which is that feelings and things that may have happened in the past.

Can get stuck in your energy field. And so those things can build up over time if you don't have the tools to release them. And that is part of what we're gonna talk about today, is that there's actually simple tools that we wanna give you to help you release this energy. And then there are actually people many of whom have been on our podcast that can help you to release the energy as well. And so in Karen's case, because there had been so much built up over time, because she is so good at keeping her vibration high and not necessarily releasing, releasing, which is now gonna be more part of a practice, that all came up at once.

Yeah, and it came out as anger. And I know I've had similar situations, my husband has similar situations. When you're [00:08:00] doing this work, you end up feeling so much better in the long run, but there can be these initial times because you haven't dealt with that vibration in so long. But the important thing is not to get into that spiral.

That Karen was talking about. And what we wanna address too is we're not saying. That there aren't really difficult things in this life that you've chosen to deal with. We know loss is hard, we know, and that's loss of another person, loss of a job, loss of what may feel like identity to you. there's so many different challenges.

and there are smaller things too. There are smaller frustrations that's on a larger scale. Then there are things when you're dealing with fear. Yeah. So it's releasing how do you release the fear so you're not caught up in it, and so that you can attract solutions, You can attract the people or the opportunities to make life better.

One of the things you just said that 

Karen: just 

triggered a thought too, is this whole idea, [00:09:00] for me, the anger thing made me angry because for me that's loss of control, I'm really good at controlling my emotions on so many levels and compartmentalizing, like you said, but it's that lack of control that in right there is.

Is the opportunity, Because ' cause for me, it was about losing control. It's about letting go of control in that moment. And how many of us are getting these opportunities where it's stop feeling like you have to control that emotion, that you have to not cry, that you have to accept that somebody's treating you that way.

Recognize that if those are bubbling up for you, they are such important lessons. And we all hate lessons, but that's the intention is to show you things that you may be stuffing or compartmentalizing or not recognizing in yourself that are opportunities to grow. 

Robyn: What you just said is so key because actually even the examples that I brought up, everything comes down to the loss of control. So when you are [00:10:00] dealing with loss on all these different levels, or you're given some sort of news that rocks your world in what feels like a bad way, it comes down to then you have no control.

And so how do you trust? And that actually leads to one of our first ways in which we wanna share with you. This idea that you can actually trust energy around you, that there is a support team that you cannot see around you. And I know to some that may sound crazy, but we are coming from a place of having been validated for years now about this, and we talk about it a ton.

On our podcast and in our lives. Anyone who knows us on a personal level knows we talk about this. We all have an invisible team around us who wants us to accomplish everything we came into this lifetime to do, and we can't see them, and we can all work on actually having some [00:11:00] sort of relationship with them.

That's why we're doing what we're doing is to help you uncover and realize and hopefully open up to it. And even when you can't see it or feel it right now, what we would love for you to do is to be open to trusting, and one of our.

Energy practitioners and teachers is a woman named Laura O'Malley, who we absolutely love and adore and has been on the podcast and is really part of our daily lives now. And she sends wisdom that she's channeling on a daily basis from teams that have found her, and they're coming through her to give us all wisdom.

And We know in our lives, and Karen will attest that everything we receive on a daily basis it's almost as if they're literally in our conversations. And then we receive this wisdom. So do you wanna share the one that came the day we were having this conversation and it couldn't have come at a better time?

Karen: She talks a lot about this thing called contrast. It's another word for problems, or she also likes to call them goodies 'cause she says that these [00:12:00] are the very things that we're here to learn and that we're here to pay attention to. And she likes to put a spin on it. But what I captured from her , what does she call them?

She calls them. 

Robyn: She calls it what is most important today and you can always go follow her on Instagram. It's get into the light. 

Karen: Yeah. She always. Emphasizes, they always emphasize the importance of our ability to choose. And that's again, where our power always is. And so the quote that spoke to me was practicing the perspective of trust holds the possibility of easing every contrasting experience. I'm gonna say that one more time.

Practicing the perspective of trust. Holds the possibility of easing every contrasting experience. And what I love there's so much in that one sentence that I think is so much wisdom, but this whole idea of easing every contrasting experience. She's not saying it's gonna eliminate it.

She's not saying it's not important or it's [00:13:00] just gonna go away, or it's not significant in your life. But this idea of clinging to this perspective of trust, That there is good, that there is something to learn, that we are here to go through this for our highest lesson learning highest self, highest soul evolution, Is that possibility of easing that experience. 

Robyn: Yeah, and I think the other thing that you brought up too, that we continue to both learn and trust. Is that we have a choice in every moment. And one of the things that we've heard from Laura and others in our own downloads as well, is that we can choose to feel good and in every moment, and it's a practice.

So just like we talked about, trusting is a practice, trusting, to your point that. Whatever is happening for you at that moment, which is what I like to say. Why that shit is a gift. Yeah. Sometimes you don't see it for months and other times you see it [00:14:00] actually within a day.

You understand? And really, for us, happened in the day that was the impetus for this. Is that we realized very quickly that we were actually being protected and supported by so many different circumstances in both our personal and professional lives. And so everything was really actually happening on purpose for us.

It's not happening to us, as we've said before. It's happening for us, and when you can actually have your eyes open wide enough to see it and sometimes it takes another person reflecting back to you. what's going on? Then the next thing is choosing to feel good in the moment.

 It's really awareness, which again, we've talked about so many times, but it's practicing what we preach. And so that's why we're talking about it with all of you today. It's that awareness of when you don't feel good, right? Yeah. And Karen, and I had the same types of days too, where.

Even if you are not aware enough. but let's say in this case, I said to Karen, I can tell something is off and she was at least open enough to [00:15:00] receive what I was saying and then decide to make a different choice and go with what feels good, which 

sometimes that takes. Actually listening to something that makes you feel good, whether it's another person or music, There are actually frequencies that you can attune to, that you can find on YouTube. We actually have an upcoming podcast with. A company that produces different frequencies to get you in a better vibration, or it could simply be finding several of your favorite songs, having them on a playlist, and knowing when you absolutely need to hear them. I do this. every day, at least once a day, I turn on certain songs that always pick me up.

They always make me smile. And that's the other part of it, is just even making yourself smile. Even if you don't feel it in the beginning, there's something about it. It starts to trigger some sort of memory for you. that makes you feel maybe the last time you really smiled or really laughed, all of these little things are gonna get you to a better state of [00:16:00] being 

Karen: One of the things that I love to say is sometimes the leap of just one. Bad emotion to a lesser bad emotion can make me feel yes. you can be in that emotion of depression and just feeling really overwhelmed. Don't wanna get out of bed, just don't wanna put one foot in front of the other.

So then reach for anger. Anger gives you some power. It makes you feel that you can at least get some of that. Out of your system, some of that emotion out of your system. And it's so important not to hold it in. 'cause you can literally feel it in your body when you're carrying it around. And even if there's one person that you can talk to, use words to let them out.

let those emotions out of you as well. It's amazing how just one friend can help you see things differently in a moment. They see you, they see the situation. They can offer you that. Feeling of not being alone. And so when you're tempted to carry it like I am or to [00:17:00] stuff it and just move past it, allow yourself the grace to share it with someone.

You're giving them a gift in return. You're giving them the gift of being able to be there for you, which always makes people feel good. So have the. Strength to be a little bit vulnerable if you can, in those situations. You might be really surprised how quickly it turns around for you and how there might be a solution there that you never, ever even thought of.

Robyn: that's such good advice. Karen. And I also wanted to say I think you brought this up in what you were just talking about, which is crying. I am a crier. I know. That just comes naturally and I'm grateful for it because I think it's actually helped me so much in not trapping so many emotions because I cry so easily.

Karen: You know what I love about that? That you do that. It reminds me that it is a releasable emotion and that things. Are worth crying over that's valid. Yeah. Always justifying why they're not so I love that. That's such a great point. 

Robyn: And I'm sure there are so many people who feel the [00:18:00] same way you do, and or maybe the way I just, I have always been that way. So I don't know. Different, but I think a lot in a lot of homes where maybe you grew up and your parents were like, I don't wanna see you crying, and really that probably came from their own fear they wanted things to be okay. And for them, the crying made it feel like it wasn't okay. So just know it's there as well as laughing and so even when it seems like a ridiculous situation, and when I say ridiculous situation, a situation where you wouldn't wanna laugh.

And I'm not saying laugh. In front of a lot of people at a funeral. But like when you need to release and let's say you can't get yourself to cry. I personally have certain videos on my phone that make me laugh no matter what. And I have those in my favorites. 

And so when I need to just laugh ' cause I know that it's gonna change my mood.

As you were saying go from not getting outta bed to even anger. If you need something that's just gonna make you laugh because that may then [00:19:00] get you to anger. Yeah. Have something like that just on standby for yourself like in the morning for me. I don't actually wake up super peppy and ready to go for my day, even though I would consider myself a really positive person.

. I wake up more like a five. I'm not terrible, but I'm really in that middle place and I do my own little rituals, my little meditations in the morning so that I go from a five to a six, maybe within the first 10 minutes, and then a six to a seven in the next 10 minutes.

And then by the time Karen and I usually have our morning check-in, I'm usually at about a, an eight, my number 10 days. I don't have many of those. I stay high vibe, reach. What's attainable for you? It's all a practice.

Karen: It is, and another one that we love to use a lot too, is if you feel something that's fine. It's perfectly okay. But instead of saying, I am depressed, or I am sad, or I am lost, or I am lonely, say, I feel. I feel lonely because then you can acknowledge that it's a [00:20:00] temporary emotion, that it's not gonna be who you are forever.

It's just right now, in this moment, how you're feeling. I think that one's a really 

Robyn: powerful one. It's a really powerful one because the I am claims it. Yeah. And makes it really who you are. And that's what you're saying then out in the world, in the universe to whomever. I feel it is. You're right.

It's a temporary situation, and then you can start to use these tools to start leveling up your vibration. Another thing that we wanted to bring up is that every day is a new opportunity to make life better, even in the most challenging of situations. So know that you can go to sleep at night.

Hopefully you can find a way to fall asleep. 'cause we know that can be challenging too. And there are now so many alternatives that are available, even from just a sound frequency perspective to help you sleep. But once you fall asleep, it's a reset. Karen and I like to think of it as a reset. ' cause the next morning you get to get up and It's [00:21:00] looking at it as an opportunity. to tackle things in a new way, what are the lessons that you can learn that day? What can you be in service of for others? It's just looking at that new day as a new opportunity rather than staying in that cycle of, Ugh, I don't wanna get up.

it's changing that whole mindset and sometimes you really do need support and help from professionals, from a support group, and those are out there, but we just wanted to give you these smaller ways that you can really reset your day and your mood. 

Karen: I always love to say, You just never know what's gonna be around the next corner.

And while it may seem, whatever is going on is just dire, it's not gonna get better. Continues to be bad. You can't work your way out of it. Every single step that you take forward gives you that opportunity. To change your environment, to change the whole scenario that you're in.

You just never know what person, circumstance, situation could be [00:22:00] just within moments of your next step. So keep going with the songs and the smile and all the things that we've been talking about, but just remember that life is uncertain in that sense. And it can always offer you wonderful things if you can just keep going.

Robyn: Yeah. And we have done so many different podcast episodes with so many practitioners that have given, and we could keep going on how many different opportunities and ways there are to change your mood and your perspective. Another that I think we wanted to share was, Two different ways of looking at how to release, which would be one is our friend, Elizabeth Fur has used this time and time again, which is this idea of taking a power washer.

And imagine that you have this power washer that's just spraying and clearing all the little cobwebs and all the negativity that may be within your system out just gone. And then you can replace that with white light [00:23:00] energy that's just reaching out for positivity and support in the most positive ways.

That is another visual that really can work. And then you have such a beautiful one that your mom taught you so long ago. 

Karen: Yes. It actually started when we were having trouble going to sleep at night and worrying about nightmares or whatever. And she would always have us close our eyes and visualize a hot air balloon with a basket.

And she would have us mentally put. Either on a sticky note or even just mentally visualize what it is that was making us scared and put it into the basket. So you can do that too anytime of the day. Just imagine that next meeting, that fight that you had with your best friend, anything that is causing you negativity or anxiety in your world right now, just imagine it on a little.

Notebook, putting it into that basket and then with a very big pink balloon. That was the key is that it would be this big helium pink balloon and that you would watch that pink helium balloon ever so [00:24:00] slowly take off and then disappear and just know that you're giving that all those worries, all those fears away to the universe, you don't need to carry them, and that the universe will take care of it for you.

Robyn: I love that. And we actually have that recording of you doing it, so I'll make sure that is in our show notes. So if people wanna do that, they can listen to that. And we also have two other meditations that I'll bring up. One is by Our friend Aman. Aman had given us a three minute meditation. That was such a beautiful way to start your day. And so we'll make sure that we link to that episode. And from our episode with Ashley Ray, she also not only gives a really good meditation to scan your body and clear yourself, she also gives really great advice.

In order to start to recognize all of the goodness in your life, and by recognizing the goodness, you're changing your vibration. And so it comes back to that energy and that vibration and that [00:25:00] perspective of, we're not saying bypass the feeling of when things feel scary or feel. Like shit or make you feel angry.

We wanna help you change that energy so that you can start to look at it from a different perspective. Because our goal in this lifetime is really to enjoy ourselves and be the journey. It's full of the highs and the lows. It's just there is a practice that you can put in place to make those lows not so low.

And to get to those highs in life quicker. And that's not with taking any sort of substance too, and that we're against that. We're just saying that's not what this is about. We recognize that you can get to a better state of being on your own with some of these practices. 

Karen: Yeah. Because we've used them ourselves.

Trust us. We wouldn't give them to you if they hadn't Worked for us and they really do. And just like you said, robyn, it can't always reset it completely, but just going from depression to anger, if it can get you even one [00:26:00] notch higher, it's putting 'em in a better place of receiving more good 

Robyn: things.

Yeah. So come back to this podcast anytime you're having a bad day. It will be here for you. We are here for you. So many of our episodes are here for you just to make life better, so we're so grateful you're listening. Thank you so much. Thank you, Karen, for sharing and being vulnerable and letting us and allowing and trusting that even sharing all of this is gonna help so many other people.

It 

Karen: does make you feel better, even just to be in this conversation. So hoping it's helping you all as well. 

Robyn: Thanks, Rob thank you. .