Seeking Center: The Podcast

Calling All Empaths: Release the Hidden Emotions That Are Holding You Back - Episode 73

• Robyn Miller Brecker, Karen Loenser, Aspen Robinson • Season 2 • Episode 73

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Meet Aspen Robinson. She's an energy healing practitioner and intuitive coach that uses a combination of Energy Work, Intuitive Coaching and Somatic Practices to help empaths heal trauma and learn how to use empathy as a gift instead of a curse in their lives. Oh, and she's definitely one of our soul sisters! 

We had the honor of having a session with Aspen, and her sessions are like nothing we've ever experienced before. She believes that when you can clear emotions from your body and energy field, you are releasing the triggers so you have space to heal, rest, and feel safe in your own body.

Aspen started down this path when her son was born 2 months premature & she had an unanticipated NICU stay. That was followed by 8 long years of PTSD & panic. She discovered that there was actually a lot more trauma under the surface and began healing my inner child & inner teen as well. Her panic attacks stopped, her body started healing, she began to find her voice and found her way back to herself.

In this week’s podcast we're talking all about Aspen’s journey, how she came into her intuitive gifts and established her own unique practice using a combination of modalities including Emotion Code, Applied Kinesiology and Psych-K to help others find their way back to their true selves. She also shares her very powerful definition of what it means to be an “Empath.”

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Robyn: [00:00:00] I'm Robyn Miller Brecker, 

Karen: and I'm Karen Loenser. Welcome to seeking center. The podcast,

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Robyn: When Karen and I meet another soul sister who is passionate and uses their abilities to transform lives, we get so excited to introduce them to all of you meet Aspen Robinson. She's an energy healing practitioner and intuitive coach that uses several different ways [00:01:00] to help empaths heal trauma and learn how to use empathy as a gift instead of a curse in their lives.

She got started on this path when her son was born two months premature, and she had an unanticipated NICU stay that was followed by eight long years of P T S D and panic. She wanted to heal as holistically as possible and stumbled into energy healing, and later more somatic practices that listened to the wisdom and emotions held in the body.

She discovered that there was actually a lot more trauma under the surface and began healing her inner child and inner teen as well. Her panic attacks stopped. Her body started healing. She began to find her voice and remember who she was. She essentially found her way back to herself. Karen and I each had the honor of having a session with Aspen, and we were absolutely blown away.

She uses a combination of energy work, intuitive coaching and somatic practices to create a safe space for you to be seen and heard her sessions are like [00:02:00] nothing we've ever experienced before. When you can clear emotions from your body and energy field, you are releasing the triggers so you have space to heal, rest, and feel safe in your own body.

There is so much to discuss. Let's get talking. Hi Aspen. 

Aspen: So happy to be here. 

Karen: Oh, we're so excited to have you here. And that introduction alone, I just took so many notes. Let's just start at the beginning can you talk about your abilities and your process for having one-on-one interactions 

with 

Aspen: your clients? Absolutely. So I do use, a blended mix of things and. What I found when I was doing my own healing is that you really had to focus on mind, body, and spirit. You couldn't do just one piece.

You couldn't just heal what was happening in your body because your mind or your emotions were still gonna run away with you. And so when I started healing from the P T S D and the experience of nicu, one of the first things that I actually came upon was E F T, which is the tapping. And it was the first form of energy work that I had ever used.

[00:03:00] And literally my panic went from like a 10 to a three. In one session. And that was the point where I was like, I'm in, I'm a hundred percent committed to this. This is everything. And it was so much better than some of the more, I would say, traditional things that I had tried in the past because my body was responding and it was recognizing like some sense of relief.

So from there, I just got really curious about what other forms were out there. And I actually had a friend tell me about the emotion code. At the time she was trying to explain it to me, I'm like, this makes no sense whatsoever.

And so I was like I'm just gonna follow the thread, see what happens. And I actually did some sessions with a practitioner at the time. What I noticed is that I could breathe for the first time. So that level of anxiety and fear and just sense of something's going to happen that was living in my body, keeping me up at night, it started to dissipate.

And I noticed that when [00:04:00] we were going through these sessions in the process, you identified what you felt at a certain age, and it was the first time that those feelings were validated by somebody else. And that was life giving because it was an immediate response of, I remember what happened, and now it can't be denied because here it is.

And so that was how I found the emotion code itself. And then from there, I just kept building depending on what I felt like my body needed or where I was at in my journey. And that's how these practices came to be. But it started there. Started very simple in the beginning.

Robyn: , we've talked a little bit about emotion code on our podcast before, but for those who haven't heard of that, can you explain what it is or how that works? 

Aspen: Absolutely. So the idea is that as you go through life, you have traumas, big T, little T, sometimes stress, pain, heartache.

So you have these moments in your life where they're impactful and you have feelings that come up from [00:05:00] them, but you don't always know how to process those feelings, how to make sense of them. Sometimes if there's trauma, it's not safe to, so you just pack 'em away and they get packed in your energy, in your body, and you just hold onto it.

So the more you move through life, the more those emotions tend to stack on each other, and then they become the beliefs, the patterns, the emotional wounds that you hold onto. So the emotion code is a way to use muscle testing, which is tuning into your body and let your body tell us what it's been holding onto all of these years.

And once we identify it, it might look like abandonment at age four or fear at 17. Once we know it, we can clear it. And the way that we clear it or release it is with a magnet. So we have a magnetic field around the body and the main source of it goes over the top of the head. So we use a magnet over the top of the head and it literally just looks like we're swiping.

And it sounds so simple in theory, but when you're in a session, you can feel it, you can feel it moving. You can have [00:06:00] memories come up sometimes, there could be this sense of, oh my gosh, there it is. And then it's like release. And so there's space that gets created. The idea is if we're holding onto all of these things, let's identify them.

Let's acknowledge them, let's let them go by clearing them. And then there's space for you to move forward in a different way. 

Robyn: when you talk about using the magnet, You actually can do that virtually for someone. So for someone listening right now I just wanna make sure they know you don't actually have to be in person right.

For you to use that magnet and clear that trauma. 

Karen: And maybe even just adding to that, what muscle testing actually is. 'cause I think a lot of people dunno what that is. Yeah, I 

Robyn: know. It's, it seems I know it's something that we talk about all the time, but really most people probably have no idea 

Aspen: what that means.

And it's, I would say if you've been around maybe like a naturopathic doctor or chiropractor, you've probably had the experience, but it's also called applied kinesiology. So if you were in person, you'd stick out your arm and then you'd have the the doctor or myself, you'd ask a yes or no [00:07:00] question and you'd push on the arm.

If your arm gave it went down, that would be your body saying no. If it held strong, it would be your body saying yes. So muscle testing is the way of the body identifying it. Through coherence. Basically, if I'm in agreement, it's gonna be strong. If I'm not in agreement with what you're saying, I'm gonna be weak.

So because energy work goes everywhere, we don't actually have to be in person to do that, and I can do it for you. So I can basically tune into your energy, which is just an intention, and I can act as proxy and I can do what's called rhythm testing. So it's just another form of muscle testing that allows me to ask your body yes or no questions and get the answers.

And because I'm also tuned in your energy, I can clear on my side as well. And it has the same impact. So I've never had anybody say that there was any difference between in-person versus virtual as far as the impact of it. And I would say 99% of what I do is actually on Zoom anyway. 

Robyn: Thank you.

The impact of the 

Karen: magnet, what is the role of that in your work? 

Aspen: So the intention [00:08:00] is because we have this magnetic field around the top of our head, the intention is that we're gonna use the magnet to draw the energy out and help it process or release. And so I would say there's a combination there of science and intention, and that's where spirituality or the mind and science kind of meet.

And so I have sometimes people that come to a session and they've never done energy work, and they're like, I don't know if I trust this at all, which is totally fair. And then they'll have a session and they're like yes, you can feel it. And that's the confirmation is that you can feel it in your body.

You feel validated and seen. There are things that come up that nobody would know because you don't have to divulge your entire history in a session. It's unnecessary. And so a lot of times it's the proof is in the pudding, really. You can just feel it. 

Robyn: You also practice something called psych K. Can you explain what that is? Karen and I had never heard of it. 

Aspen: Absolutely. So site K is this other modality that really acts as a beautiful bookend to the emotion code. So if you think about the emotion code as helping you [00:09:00] clear the past, emotions, triggers, and beliefs, when you get to the other side of that, there's all this space to create a new belief.

And site K is a modality that allows us to create a new positive belief and then use a balance or a posture to reprogram the subconscious. based on the idea that a rational brain and our emotional brain are not always on the same page, so it's holding a specific posture to reprogram the subconscious so it has a more positive belief. Basically allowing your rational side of your brain and your emotional side to get on the same page so that everything is in alignment 

Robyn: When you're actually using it in practice, how does that work 

Aspen: so if you cleared, say on the idea that all love was conditional, we would clear all the experience where experiences, where that had been the truth, then we would use psych K to create a new belief that says love is unconditional and limitless, for instance. And so this is the new belief that you hold, which means now this is the new way that you approach life.

It's what you expect from life, and [00:10:00] it allows you to step into a more positive belief system that's just always running in the subconscious and in the background. 

Karen: I circle back to what you were saying earlier about the idea of being an empath. You are an empath. I know Robyn and I are empaths. Can you define that for people and how do you know if you are an 

Aspen: empath? So I have maybe a little bit of, a controversial view on this empaths, I believe are people who have a certain level of consciousness that allows them to extend empathy and compassion to another person.

So there's an intentionality I think, behind being an empath I can connect to you, I can sense what you're going through. And empowered empathy allows us to have really healthy boundaries around that. And it says, I see you, I hear you. How can I support you? I'm not gonna take that on for you though.

I see that as a really positive, empowered thing. I think a lot of times it gets confused in trauma with this sense of hyper vigilance, which is a trauma [00:11:00] response of, I need to pay attention to what you're feeling and thinking at all times. So I'm safe. And I think that's where most people get confused about it, it's not a curse, it's not a burden.

It just has to have healthy boundaries so that you can show up in the world in an empowered way and not take on everybody's stuff. That's a 

Karen: great definition. I always looked at it as almost like a hypersensitivity. Yeah, I did too. So I love how you just define that it, it now it feels like you can empower yourself it's a gift.

Being able to sense other people's feelings and emotions, but sometimes it's hard to put that boundary up and know Yes. Where it begins and ends. 

Robyn: So that's really helpful. 

Aspen: I think a lot of times too, we're taught to be martyrs. like just societally.

So we're not really taught that we're allowed to have boundaries around our empathy. We're taught to be bleeding hearts and empaths are the people that can actually show up and create change in the world in such a positive way. 'cause they have the capacity to look at everybody and say, how do we meet all of these needs in a loving way?

Robyn: Oh my goodness. That is so true. That's a really cool way of looking at it, and then for your intuitive [00:12:00] coaching can you talk about how it works for you and how did you even discover your own ability within intuition? Absolutely. 

Aspen: So I think this is the fun piece because so many people have this, even if they're not tuned in right now, is that we are all naturally intuitive to some degree and it looks different for all of us.

So I knew that I was an intuitive at a really young age just because I could sense so many different things around me. And a lot of times what that felt like was knowing what was gonna happen, what I should maybe worry about or focus on, versus when it was just okay to just let it go, it was gonna work out.

And so when I went through all of the healing, It became more finely tuned to noticing where people maybe were struggling, where people were gifted and brilliant and not able to see it, what their energy fields felt like. So it's a tool that has adapts when you choose to use it in certain ways.

And so now in sessions, what it looks like is somebody can show up [00:13:00] and their energy will bring things to the table. It'll be like, this is what they're really struggling with, or this is the most important thing to focus on today. So it helps guide a session that is more in line with what someone genuinely needs, versus sometimes we have the thing that's on the surface and it's secondary, or it's the thing that we're aware of.

So I use it to navigate that in a session to help us get to what is actually gonna bring the most peace or relief in that day. 

Karen: One of the things that we have been talking about a lot is this subconscious trauma that all of us carry, even in the best of childhoods. There are things that impact us when we're very young.

How does that trauma, when we are carrying that around as adults show up even in ways that we may not be aware of? 

Aspen: I wish that this was taught in school because this is life giving. Even though we moved on, and I say that in the air quotes, the experience has passed the belief system of our family is no longer necessarily, like in our everyday lives.

We carry a record of all of that inside of us [00:14:00] if we haven't processed it or understood it or chosen something different. So the subconscious trauma are the things that we carry that are still unresolved. Our energy and in our being. And what they do is they act as this kind of current under the river that's pushing us in certain directions in our lives, even though we actively may not want it.

So for instance, you can grow up in a family that struggles financially and you can show up in your adult life and you can work really hard and you can have really phenomenal goals, but things might always fall through. There might be this element of self-sabotage or missing the opportunity that you're unaware of because you were taught at a young age that you have to struggle and life is hard, don't expect it.

And that's how subconscious trauma works is it just moves under the surface and it pulls your feet out from under you without you realizing it a lot of times. 

Robyn: Oh, that's a great example. the other thing I would like to bring up, because I've had this conversation with people who don't realize.

what trauma can look like. When some people hear the [00:15:00] word trauma, they think that it means something catastrophic may have happened to them in early childhood or in your case, what happened to you was extreme trauma. I know I had extreme trauma as a child, but some people, when they're thinking about their childhood, they're like, my life was great.

I had a great childhood. Can you talk about the little things that people may not think of that do end up staying within that subconscious and really do fall under this definition of trauma, even though it may be different in their own minds. 

Aspen: Absolutely, and this is one of the things I would say that is starting to barely come to light now, is that trauma is not necessarily always what happened.

It's what didn't happen. And You can grow up with parents who did their absolute best. You can know that they showed up for you, but if they struggled with finances, if they say lost a parent, and that was really hard on them. If they didn't know how to meet your emotional needs or connect with you, [00:16:00] that can still be trauma.

And those are the ones that are a lot harder to identify because we think they did their best. So that's not trauma. But trauma is not necessarily that anybody hurt you. It's that I didn't get something that I needed and now something in me is not able to move on and I'm stuck. And so a lot of traumas that get overlooked would be like divorce or the loss of a grandparent or a parent or illness of yourself or a family member.

Mental illness is one that gets overlooked a lot of times too, when somebody in the family has it. A lot of things that we think are quote unquote normal are actually trauma. And there's a lot of things in our culture that we accept as norms that are actually trauma responses that we as a whole have not figured out how to move on from too.

Karen: One of the things you talked about with us even was the generational trauma. Trauma that we carry maybe that from our grandparents or our great-grandparents that have just imprinted our parents and even they may not know that they're carrying that. And then that influences us as well. 

Aspen: Absolutely.

And that [00:17:00] I would say is one of those, it's one of those areas that is so impactful because say that your grandparent grandmother say she lost a child that is a trauma obviously. Then your mother might have had fertility issues and that's how the trauma got passed down. And then you might not be able to get pregnant because that's how it's coming down to the third generation.

And you might have had an ancestor that went to war and now everybody's afraid of losing somebody. So there's all of these tones of it. And when you start looking at the ancestral piece, what you're really looking at is, how do I create this place of expansion within me that allows me to move past my family's story and to step back into a space of more authenticity in yourself?

Robyn: I never even thought of it that way. And with such specificity, what you just said, spoke to me so deeply because again, you sometimes you can't understand why things are happening and Having some understanding of it is [00:18:00] helpful and obviously at the end of it you wanna be able to clear it and move past it.

And move forward. Which is why Karen and I do what we do. Just, having that understanding it does help validate certain things because otherwise it just seems so arbitrary. 

Aspen: A hundred percent. And then you wonder like, , why do I do this thing?

Why can I not figure it out? So for instance, like in my family, we had the loss of my uncle at 17 and it was very much a tragic trauma. And then you had the birth of my son early. At two months, and then you had, my sister lost a son at three days. So trauma doesn't go anywhere until somebody heals it.

And the generation, my parents and my grandparents, they did not have the tools because they were living in active trauma. There were other things going on. And so sometimes it's not that somebody's neglected it, they just can't, or there's no resources in your lineage until you 

Robyn: And I think we're coming now into a time where we can talk about these and get them out to more people easily because of technology.

[00:19:00] back in our, grandparent generation, there was no way for them to really, unless it was like, whispers in the town, There no way to really talk about it and talk about the possibilities of clearing this or what's even going 

Aspen: on. Absolutely. And you think about women too, all of us as women are carrying some type of usually ancestral trauma because of the limits placed on women and the restrictions and the ways that our, grandparents and great-grandparents and so on, our grandmothers were not allowed to usually show up in their authenticity. So a lot of times we're the generation that has to do the really scary thing of figuring out how to actually just be big, in our bigness.

show up. So I think a lot of us are realizing there's no other way. It's a kind of a cross in the road where we have to figure out who we're gonna 

Robyn: be. 

Karen: in all those generations, like you said, it was almost like that's just life and deal with it and move on. You didn't have that opportunity to really dig into that a little bit deeper.

that kind of leads into that whole idea of energy Aspen when you were [00:20:00] doing our session. It was fascinating to watch how you could just know as you do the muscle test exactly what age that trauma was showing up in our lives. You nailed both of us. It was incredible.

Can you talk about that experience and what do you feel? What do you see as you go through that? How do you 

Robyn: know? 

Aspen: it's interesting 'cause I've been doing it for so long, is technically it's the muscle testing. However, what happens a lot of times is I'll know it's this emotion and I'll just double check it at this point, and then I'll know it's this age or this age.

And usually it's both. It's a combination. But the way that it feels when I'm tuning in is. I can feel when, say there's abandonment coming up, how somebody's holding that abandonment in their body. So it might be that it's coming through as heartache and they feel deeply alone where the abandonment might be a sense of unsafety and they're afraid in their nervous system.

So we all hold these things slightly different, but when a muscle testing and tuning into 'em, I can usually tell how it's playing out and that tells us how your [00:21:00] patterns are playing out and what's really holding you back in life. What is the main focus here that you can pay attention to? 

Robyn: It was unbelievable how you can get to The specificity is it's uncanny. 

Karen: Yeah. And for the listeners, what Aspen does is she goes through an entire list and gives you an age and then that connected emotion that she is. Seeing and then afterwards, just talking through what happened at that age and why did we feel that way?

And what came up were really clusters of years where it was, for me it was like 17 and then all these different emotions came up. And some of them, to your point, like you don't always remember exactly what it is, but with your help you can go back and really recognize and release what those trauma memories were.

It's just an 

Robyn: incredible process. It really is. And let's just talk about your own journey a little bit more that got you into this work. Because I know we mentioned it in the intro and we've alluded to it within our conversation so far. But can you talk about what [00:22:00] happened and how that led you to years of really not knowing how you were gonna continue on?

Aspen: Absolutely. So the main part of it started when my son was born two months early and he was an emergency C-section and so they delivered him and then they immediately had to take him away to the nicu and I saw him, I wanna say it was like the middle of the night, like 3:00 AM I woke up for the first time from all of, the medication and the drugs and they wheeled me in there in the nicu and he basically looked like he was suffocating.

It was one of those moments where you're like, something bad is getting ready to happen. And so they ended up having to call in a thoracic surgeon 'cause his lungs had deflated and then they had to call life support. So they took him to another hospital without me because I had just had a C-section and I couldn't go and I didn't get to go up there for, it was another 24 hours.

Ended up getting discharged early and when I got there, it had happened again. So it was this. Nine day process of [00:23:00] basically not knowing if he's gonna be able to breathe, if his lungs would ever fully form. And watching his lungs, the process it just would not heal and grow in the way that it was meant to in those first few days.

However, he was this little baby that kept grabbing out his nasogastric tube. They're like, he's not going to eat from a bottle, but he was a fighter, so he kept pulling out all of the equipment and he basically was like, I'm here, mom, we're gonna do this. And then he turned a corner and all of a sudden he just started breathing on his own.

Wow. And everything started healing. And so when they sent us home from the nicu, they basically just send you home and they're like, Enjoy. Be on your own. You're terrified. Yeah. And traumatized because you've also had massive health issues and you have this tiny baby and you're like, can we get through this together?

And so I really started developing P T S D. A few months after that experience. I was very much in fight or flight in the beginning, just getting through the day, [00:24:00] healing, that type of thing. And nobody, none of my medical team ever asked me if I was okay. They assumed I was okay because I was home and because my child was home.

And so it took three years for me to figure out that I had P T S D. I didn't know what was wrong with me and God love, whichever mom had this mommy blog at the time, because that's how I actually figured out what it was. And then I could go to the doctor and be like, this is a problem. But she wrote about how P T S D in NICU parents is so overlooked and not talked about.

And once I knew what it was, I was able to start the healing journey. And that's where I found the E F T and all of the other things. And once I started healing from that, and that's the beauty of having a child too, is that you have to reparent yourself. And that's when all the childhood stuff started coming up.

That's when the teen stuff started coming up. And it was an opportunity to realize that some of these patterns that have been playing out for so long needed tending to. And that's how I brought in all the other modalities. Then it was like, how do we actually care for this? 'cause everything [00:25:00] needs something a little bit different.

And then I realized the impact of our childhood on our adult self. It had not been super clear at that point. I knew there was stuff, but I didn't know that it was a direct line to everything. And that's how it all developed. 

Karen: It's amazing, isn't it? How. You have this traumatic experience in your adult world and how that can open yourself up if you allow it to, all the other healing that really needs to take place.

So in a way it's you don't wanna say it's a blessing that it happened, but in a way it does help you do that work where you might 

Aspen: not have, I tell my son all the time, , you saved my life in more ways than one because I didn't know that was all there. And you're right. Would never wish that on another soul.

There are much easier ways to get involved in your own healing than having to go through trauma. However, we'll take the experience we do have and find the gratitude in 'em because it changed my entire life in the best way possible. 

Robyn: When people come to you now, 

would you say that most people are just so stuck and now you have a [00:26:00] huge following? and I personally really do resonate with a lot of what you post talk about using your intuition and then obviously your experiences, but you really nail things that I know, I personally can relate to.

So are you finding people are seeing that and then coming to you because oh my God, I never thought of it that way. Maybe I can clear it. Or, are you also finding that people are where you were like, I don't know what's going on and I don't know how to help myself.

Aspen: Yes. I would say it's definitely both. I think that. Having been through it and me being a person that's I need to understand why helps me communicate. And that's part of the socials. This is why you feel what you feel, and this is where it comes from. And I think when people have that clarity, they can actually make changes in their life.

And I think when people feel seen and known, then they're like, let's work together. So that definitely happens. And then also, I would agree, there's a lot of people that show up and they're like, I think that you can [00:27:00] help me and just tell me what I need to do. Because it is so confusing when you're in it.

Yes. And aren't great resources out there for helping people identify things in an easy way. No. 

Robyn: And I'm just gonna use Karen. I'm using you as an example. Because I do that. what came up in Karen's session I think was. So revolutionary for Karen in her life because it was something that not in a million years was she ever thinking had such an impact on who she is today on decisions she's made in the past and going forward.

And so my point being that you unveiled something that was so not obvious, but so big. Wouldn't you say 

Karen: Karen? Oh, a hundred percent. And I think for anybody listening who thinks that. Even trauma that you have to go and have a session to dig into. There are so many littler things that you're carrying.

To your point earlier, Aspen, when you said, you could have a really great childhood, in my mind it was great, but there were so many things that were [00:28:00] imprinted on me as a young child, as the oldest of the six children, so many imprints or so many connections, even with my mother and father that I did not even realize that once you served it all up in a whole portrait, in a whole picture, it was such an aha for me and such a relief because it was something I was carrying and didn't understand why.

So 

Robyn: it was so helpful. And I also think about our divine meeting and I think about Karen's experience. With actual childbirth and I think about yours. Yeah. And when we were talking about that generational trauma and so forth I was just thinking about you, Karen because I think we've talked about before and you can talk about what happened, but You too had a very traumatic experience giving birth.

Yeah. 

Karen: And again, I even in this moment of talking about it, I don't claim it as trauma. Isn't that crazy? So for me, my experience was, after I delivered my son, who was perfectly fine, perfectly on time, I basically bled out [00:29:00] afterwards and they didn't know exactly what was going on with me right away.

But at the end of the day, I had to be whisked into surgery. And I was literally in an induced coma for a couple of days and my poor husband's trying to figure out how to feed this baby. And my other daughter who was. 12 at the time, who had seen me go in this is routine. It's no big deal. I'll be home in a couple of days.

Everybody's life was literally, for me it was like it was a, everything ended happily and we all went on with our lives. And yet now even just listening to you, I can feel that cringe of lack of power, I'm losing all of my power.

There's nothing I can do. I'm at the mercy of doctors. And so I need to claim that. And I typically do not. And I think this is true of so many of us that we are taught. Everything's fine now. So just move on. Just let it go. Don't look back in the rear view mirror. Just move forward.

It's important to take a minute and really do that work. 

Robyn: And we've talked to Aspen before and I was thinking to myself again as we were hearing your story, from my intuitive place, it just makes me [00:30:00] think so much of Karen and the synergy and how she does actually need to hear it again, because she does have to continue to release it.

And because that's deep. 

Aspen: And you have. Shock and trauma to your body. So there's the somatic piece of it. And then you have the missed opportunity to bond with your baby right afterwards. And so that's something that two of you share. And you think about generations before us, they would take the baby immediately from the mother, and a lot of times they would leave babies in NICU and not let parents in, or they'd keep 'em in nurseries and not let parents come see them.

'cause they were like, it's best for the baby. But that's bonding, that's getting missed out on, and I think it's so valid what you went through that it was okay for it to be traumatizing. It doesn't have to have the stigma, right? It can just be traumatizing and shocking to your being. 

Karen: Yeah. thank you for saying that And I think the other thing that just is occurring to me too as you're talking is that there are so many forks in the road that. You go through in your life and that often you don't even think about those. And for me, that was one for sure. and I do think about [00:31:00] that. I think about what would've happened if I wasn't around and what would've happened to my daughter and my husband and what their lives and my son.

' cause my son later within a year, was diagnosed with cancer. So if I had checked out that day, he might've had a very different outcome in his life too. So it's something that we all need to do and take a moment and yes, be grateful that everything went the way it did, but also to acknowledge within ourselves that is a moment of real trauma, of real fear that can live in there 

Aspen: And it's valid and you are the one that gets to decide that it was traumatizing, not anybody else. 

Karen: That's good. 

Robyn: Thank you, Robyn, for bringing me in. Yeah, no and I don't know what you think about this, but when Karen and I have done past life regression before, it's so interesting because what has come up in past lives for her have been her actually not living after giving birth.

Aspen: So it's a correction too. Yes. That's beautiful. 

Robyn: Yeah. 

Karen: Yeah. It was definitely a choice in this life, clearly to stay. But [00:32:00] without that past life regression, I don't even think I would have that clarity, which is so helpful. It's just made that whole experience something I'm actually grateful again for because I can acknowledge that in this lifetime I'm setting the right course and making the choice to stay and move through it all.

So 

Robyn: it is a great example. And and we have these conversations to. Not only give people the resources to help clear them, but to give the understanding of all the pieces that there are that come together. And the essence of why we're really here, from a soul perspective is really to expand our consciousness, to clear these things from the past so that we can move forward from wherever we go from here.

But at a different level of frequency and so forth. 

Aspen: And not pass it on to, 

Robyn: that's it, that's world better. That's it. Correct. Because to your point, talking about generational, who knows , what have I given my daughter?

What have you given your son Aspen and Karen, your son and your daughter, it's you don't know. 

Aspen: You don't. And I [00:33:00] think that the thing that we can do is we can provide safe space for our kids. There's safe space for conversation to be seen, to be heard, to be authentic. And then at least there's room for us to be held together to work through things that come up.

And I think so many of us have missed that in our lives. There was nowhere to go when the thing happened. Yes. Nobody understood. 

Robyn: Yes. And I know for me what came up, which is not surprising, is for me so much came up around the age of 12 and 13, which is when my dad passed away at 12 suddenly. And so it's unbelievable that of course I still, even with all the work that I do and continue to do, there's so much that's still there.

'cause it's super deep. It was, yes. It was very traumatizing. It rocked my world And continues to have a different mindset in my life because I think anything can happen at any time, which I take to mean live my life to the fullest, tell people how much I love them, and don't waste time on people who don't fill me up with [00:34:00] joy.

But we all have these lessons, I still will have a lot more to clear. 

Aspen: We might be clearing until 

Robyn: we die. It's okay. That's right. And we'll, so actually that leads to something that you call energy leaks. Can you explain what that is and give an example of 

Aspen: that.

So this is really important for anybody, but empaths are really susceptible to this, energy. Leaks are anything in your life, person, place, experience, trigger, whatever it might be that doesn't allow you to hold your own energy, meaning that it's something that's going to withdraw from your bank. And not give back.

It's depleting, it's triggering, it's toxic, it's harmful. And a lot of times what it looks like are unhealed wounds. It's people that we're allowing to treat us poorly. It's poor boundaries. It's past life stuff. It's, disease and illness in the body. So if you think about our bodies as these phenomenal energy systems, an energy leak is something that is depleting and taking from it, and there's nothing restoring it or healing [00:35:00] it.

So what it causes a lot of times is these really poor boundaries where people take advantage of you. You don't know what your limits are. It can cause physical, mental, emotional exhaustion, it can lead to illness and things like that. 'cause you're so depleted and run down. And for a lot of people with trauma, what it leads to is a dysregulated nervous system.

And you're just living in a space of fight or flight because your needs aren't being met, but things are being taken and drain from you all the time. 

Karen: Is this something that you can see when you do a session with someone? 

Aspen: A lot of times you can tell energetically where somebody's Achilles heel say would lie, and it's usually related to something that they've either been taught or experienced in life.

So if a person was not allowed to have boundaries as a child, if they were violated or not respected, they usually don't grow up knowing that they have permission to set healthy boundaries. And so that's where their energy is leaking. 

Robyn: Basically, I'm so glad you're bringing that up. ' cause I think most kids, yes, we are just not taught that word didn't come up for me until I was 25 [00:36:00] years old, and it was terrifying.

And I didn't know how you could actually empower yourself to use them. 

Aspen: Yes. And parents, a lot of times disrespect children's boundaries over and over again. And luckily there's a lot of people talking about children's boundaries now. But children grow up thinking that they can't have them.

And then you end up with these unhealthy relationships also with parents and fa family members because you were caught. We don't have boundaries in families because that's an act of love. Yes. And it's so harmful. So 

Robyn: harmful. I am so glad you're bringing that up. 'cause I think most people in a lot of families have that, that's just not that's not to behave 

Karen: a certain 

Robyn: Yes. 

Karen: That is the bottom line. And then you see these little ones who resist and they're the troublemakers or the bad ones. Yes. And yet they're the ones that are asserting their own 

Robyn: boundaries.

So 

Karen: Talk about that a little bit. Aspen and what your experience has been with some of your clients and when they bring these things to you and maybe that lack of understanding [00:37:00] what that all is for them. 

Aspen: the place that I see this show up the most is whenever I talk about on social, like no contact with toxic people is the conversation turns into if your parent gave you life, they get full access to you.

And that is a direct response of somebody who's been taught that they don't get to have boundaries. 

Karen: How often have I heard that one? Oh my goodness. Yeah. And it's 

Aspen: insane. And, but it shows up in 

Robyn: little, it's insane. 

Aspen: It is, and it makes no sense because it's like I'm supposed to allow somebody to cause me harm and not say anything because they're entitled to my being.

And that's like the extreme version. But then you have. It's little things too that matter with kids is they wanna dress a certain way. They want their hair a certain way, they want to like a certain thing. They're trying to express boundaries in all of that and express themselves. And so when you allow those boundaries in a healthy way, then you affirm and validate who they are.

And they grow up to be kids who know how to make choices and decisions for themselves. They're less likely to have other people cross their boundaries because they've [00:38:00] been taught, they're allowed to have them, and we actually keep them safe. And then there are adults who know what they need. Yeah.

And I 

Robyn: would encourage parents who are listening to this right now to pay attention to that. And really question, where have you done that with your children? 'cause you can make a change now. Yes, you can change the way you're thinking now. You can do your own work. You can talk to Aspen, you can talk to others.

You can start doing your own work. And you can also start paying attention to how are you treating your children. 

Aspen: I'll never forget my mom taught me at such a young age, she was like, respect is not given because of authority or age respect is earned. If you need to say no, you say no. And I'll never forget learning that at three, four, or five years old because in my life that allowed me to stand up to so many people in authority who are abusing it or trying to take advantage.

And I realized as an adult now, that kept me safe from people who would've probably caused me a lot of physical emotional harm because as a child then I'm not going to be easily influenced. I know my mom's got my back [00:39:00] and I can say no. And if I get in trouble, I can go to her and she's gonna be like, mama bear and protect 

Robyn: me.

That is really beautiful. as a parent, 

Karen: don't you feel like I have felt it with my own children? I energetically feel it when I am inflicting my beliefs and behaviors upon them. it feels bad. Yes. Even though you're trying to give them a framework. I can energetically feel like I am being that mother and I am inflicting and I am trying to make them into something that they aren't.

And I've really since learned that I've really let go of that. And now our relationship is so flowing and free, but the minute you try to do that control, it's on both sides. You can feel that energy. You're 

Robyn: so right. 

Aspen: Yes. Feels terrible too. When you're aware, you're like oh my bad. the amount of times I apologize and I'm like, that was a me problem, 

Robyn: not a you problem.

Yes. exactly. And I don't know if either of you have seen the show The Bear, Okay. for anyone who's listening right now that has seen the show, the Bear, and I would recommend it highly, it's [00:40:00] unbelievable there is so much of what we're talking about that they cover within this show.

And you can see the evolution of the characters that are in the show that. Are releasing and setting boundaries and all of that. And it's a phenomenal piece of work and it's covering what we're talking about. Although there's no energy healing practitioner in it.

There should be, but anyway, I highly recommend it. 'cause everything we're talking about is just shown in such, obviously a much bigger way. But I think a lot of people who've grown up with families that are dysfunctional and most of us have in some way, shape or form will resonate.

And you can see it in, in that way. I was gonna say, what is one of your go-to daily practices that you would recommend to others? 

Aspen: I have a really simple practice and I give it to almost everybody. It's everybody's homework, and it's this simple practice of how do I feel today?

And then letting your body tell you, how do I feel? Maybe it's something physical, maybe it's emotional. We live really disconnected [00:41:00] from ourselves, so how am I feeling? What do I need? And it's not coming from a place of thinking it through. It's more of listening to that intuitive part of you.

Because a lot of times we already know what we need to heal. We are actively avoiding it, we're afraid of it. And so if you can start a daily practice of tuning in, even if you can't do it for a while, you can just have that conversation with yourself. I see you. I know you need that. I need some courage. I need some support.

It's a way to reconnect to that intuitive piece that we all have. And it's a way for your body to feel heard, your emotions still feel heard, and so much healing happens in that simplicity. That's 

Karen: so good. And you're right, it's so simple. And I bet people will be surprised how much if they ask that question of themselves every day.

Yes. How recurrent a lot of the themes are. And to your point, even if you can't do it, to at least acknowledge, I need rest, I need fun, 

Robyn: I need Yes. 

Karen: A moment to myself. Like just to acknowledge that 

Robyn: and do it. And do it before [00:42:00] you get outta bed. Do it as you're just waking up.

If you can get into that practice of asking that question. I totally agree with you. It really will change. I think you told us that one of the last times we spoke and I have been doing it and today I was surprised 'cause I asked. I asked, and I was surprised with the answer. 'cause it was one that doesn't typically happen for me, which was I was nervous and I'm not typically nervous, but I have something later on today that it's just unknown. And I have things coming up in the next few weeks that I just need to release and go with the flow, which is a little hard for me and I recognize that.

But just the acknowledgement of it, then I was able to say, oh, but it's gonna be awesome. Whatever it is gonna be awesome. But at least I recognized that was that I was nervous. 

Aspen: Yes. And then it doesn't build, you're like yeah. People just walk side by side. Me and my nervousness. It's fine. I got you.

Robyn: So thank you. Because I actually have put that into practice and it's so easy. And it allows also, I think people to start building. [00:43:00] That connection that inner voice, because most people don't acknowledge it. But in those moments, you really can hear yourself if you set the 

Aspen: intention and if you've had, trauma, if you've not had a voice, if you've been invalidated, gaslighted, whatever your story is, you probably disconnected from your intuition because you were taught to, you were told to, it was validated.

And so it can take time. But it's amazing how much that just starts to heal everything, because then what happens is that transcends just that moment and it becomes your entire day eventually, and you're always listening to what is needed. So it just builds alignment. Yeah, 

Karen: and you're making yourself and your own feelings are priority, which is so hard for so many of us to do.

We do it for others, but when it comes to ourselves, and so that little simple practice allows, even just for a moment in the day for us to do that. 

Robyn: Love, that Aspen yeah. And then it will build, because then you'll realize that you have that power and that voice within yourself and that wisdom.

Aspen: Yeah, absolutely. Because [00:44:00] we do all have the ability to heal it's with, in each of us. And so we don't have to overcomplicate it, even though our brain does. It's actually not super complicated. It's safety, creating safety, and then creating space to process and then choosing again. 

Robyn: And that's what you're helping people do, is by creating these processes, creating the space, then.

People who are working with you are healing themselves. 

Aspen: Absolutely. And they're amazing. It's just amazing to watch how intuitive people actually are when they think they aren't. And the things that come up, they answer their own questions in the most brilliant ways. It's phenomenal. 

Karen: You're such a good facilitator of that, and thank you for just having the bravery and for really making this available to people. You have this way, Aspen, of just really being that easy, relatable person. It's not like you're standing over them with all the answers. You really are letting them be part of the process to heal, which is just such a beautiful 

Robyn: practice.

Yeah. We just love it. 

Aspen: I love people, so it's 

Robyn: easy. Thank you. We're so [00:45:00] grateful to now be connected, really to call you a soul sister. Yes. 

Aspen: I love it 

Robyn: to be on this journey with you, so thank you for all that you're doing and for. Really helping us Yes. Heal ourselves and continue to heal ourselves.

Aspen: Absolutely. It was so much fun to connect. I just have enjoyed it so much. So thank you. 

Robyn: You can find out more about working with Aspen as well as download her guide seven Energy Leaks for empaths@augustknoxcoaching.com. That's A U G U SS T K N O x C O A C H I N g.com. And we also recommend following Aspen on Instagram at August Knox Coaching.

And again, that's with a K, so make sure with the NOx you use a K we'll have all of her links in our show notes. Thank you, Aspen. Thank you so much.