Getting Deep: Scientific Ways to Overcome Anxiety + Reclaim Your Life. Plus, Support Facing A Diagnosis - Episode 49

We had no idea that a science-backed online wellness studio for women who are experiencing stress and anxiety exists. Now we do, and we want you to know too! Meet Kendall Carriere of The Deep Center.

Kendall is a cancer survivor, anxiety and cancer coach, and the founder of The Deep Center, which is for busy and multi-passionate women who struggle with anxiety. Kendall created The Deep Center to help you reclaim your power through meditation and aligned connection. Whether or not you've been on a cancer journey, have identified yourself as an overachiever or perfectionist, or if you deal with feelings of anxiety or of not being good enough, Kendall has tools for you.

In this episode we cover:
-Facing a diagnosis (You or a loved one)
-Strategies to cope + overcome anxiety
-Emotional Frequency Technique (aka Tapping)
-Navigating a breast cancer journey
-Mindfulness
-Two questions to ask yourself to start every day

You can find more about Kendall at The Deep Center. You can also follow Kendall on Instagram and Facebook.

Visit seekingcentercommunity.com for more with Robyn + Karen and many of the guides on Seeking Center: The Podcast. You'll get access to live weekly sessions, intuitive guidance, daily inspiration, and a space to share your journey with like-minded people who just get it.

You can also follow Seeking Center on Instagram @theseekingcenter.

Transcript

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Robyn: [00:00:00] I'm Robyn Miller Brecker, 

Karen: and I'm Karen Loenser. Welcome to seeking center. The podcast,

Robyn: join us each week as we have the conversations and weed through the spiritual and holistic clutter for you, we'll boil it down to what you need to know. Now 

Karen: we're all about total wellness, which to us needs building a healthy life on a physical, mental, and spiritual level.

We'll talk to the trailblazers who will introduce you to the practices, products, and experiences. That may be just what you need to hear about to transform your life. 

If you're listening to this, it's no accident. Think of this as your seeking center and your place to seek your center. And for even more mega inspo sign up for seeking center.

The newsletter at seeking center . 

Robyn: It'll come as no surprise to our fellow seekers listening. That meeting Kendall Caray came as what can only be described as the universe saying you must meet in a stream of synchronicities in a short amount of time. We ended up on a zoom and a soul connection was [00:01:00] unlocked. Kendall is a cancer survivor, anxiety and cancer coach, and the founder of The Deep Center, which is an online wellness studio for busy and multi-passionate women.

Who struggle with anxiety? Does this sound like you? Kendall created the Deep Center to help you reclaim your power through meditation and aligned connection. We'll be digging into the how, what, and why and what that means, whether or not you've been on the cancer journey, if you've ever identified yourself as an overachiever.

Perfectionist or you deal with feelings of anxiety or of not being good enough. Kendall has tools for you. Her infectious energy and highly thought out protocols are a gift to us all. Let's get deep. Hi, Kendall. Hi. 

I'm, 

Karen: What you're doing is so unique and so we're excited to hear more and about your journey. And maybe we should start there, 

Kendall: yes. 

Robyn: We wanna hear how this all came to be.

Your journey is inspiring. 

Kendall: you. Gosh, I had a mentor say, I'm sure we've all heard this quote scratching your own [00:02:00] itcha and that's really where the Deep Center came from. I've been in wellness to some capacity between being a nutrition coach and fitness instructor and, kind of instructor of everything.

Yoga, Pilates, all the things. I found myself at the beginning of the pandemic with a breast cancer diagnosis, and then 10 days later having to close my fitness studios. And so we're all locked at home. We all had our own, personal crisis during the lockdown, but I had this am I gonna die and be bankrupt at the same time?

How did this happen in a matter of what felt like 10 days, like just 10 days earlier, the skies were blue and this pandemic was just a m in the distance. So here I was locked down. With really crippling anxiety, and I'd always said that I had what I called resting anxiety.

the perfectionist part of it, the overachiever, the not feeling good enough, the being high strung was always looping in the background. But then when I had this personal life crisis on top of it, it became absolutely unmanageable. And so I started to look for resources To really guide me to the other [00:03:00] side of breast cancer.

Mentally I thought surely there's some sort of like online studio. It's one in eight women get breast cancer. It is of both genders, it's the most diagnosed cancer. And sure, I'm not the first person who's ever had it. I just thought, oh these resources must be really dialed.

There's someone who's I know how you're feeling. Do this, and I know how your body feels after surgery. Do this. And I really couldn't find it. What I found was either very medical. . And the truth is, there's even in the breast cancer world, there's a lot of different diagnosises.

So even if you have breast cancer, it's often very different from someone you know is breast cancer. And so what I found was either very medical or not very applicable. Definitely not very chic. It didn't feel cool. It wasn't something I wanted to really go back to,

, it's just sort of of sad. And I was like, where is I'm a like a young in shape patient going through breast cancer. Where are the resources for her to wrap her mind around it and get her body right? when I couldn't find it, I just decided, or, maybe it was decided for me cuz I got this, ping in a meditation just this is what you need to do, you [00:04:00] need to help other.

Just like you. And so I sold my studios and eight months ago I launched the Deep Center. I spent about a year conceptualizing it and getting it really tight, and then launched it eight months ago. 

Karen: Wow. I'd have to just say, just listening to your story, first of all, in the beginning of the pandemic fear was just so rampant about.

Covid, Yeah. So I can't imagine what it must have felt like for you to be in the midst of that fear hospitals being overloaded, you getting this diagnosis, and then you didn't really have a place to go to embrace other people in the same places 

Kendall: as you. Couldn't leave the house.

And in your 

Robyn: situation, I know when we've talked to you before, You couldn't even get your 

Kendall: surgery right. And you were in this weird 

Robyn: limbo. And the fear even with that, like you wanted to get this out of your body. Yes. 

Kendall: Can you talk about that for a minute? Sure. Absolutely. Yeah. So if you go back to those times The day before my surgery, the hospital, the major hospital in New Orleans closed, they stopped [00:05:00] doing surgeries.

So unless you had some emergent issue, you had to wait even cancer. So the day before my surgery, I got a call from my oncologist who had told. When there was some scuttle about maybe, something was gonna be canceled, he said, you can't afford to wait. The cancer you have, you cannot afford to wait.

So you're gonna have the surgery. Don't worry. gonna make sure this happens. And then the day before he called, canceled it. The hospital's closed and said, but don't worry the cancer you have, it can wait , Which 

Robyn: one is it? So it 

Kendall: was such oh my gosh. Just what do you do when you know you have cancer and you can't do anything about it?

You can't get it out. You can't have the necessary surgery What did you start to do? Cause I know, you spoke about meditation. 

Robyn: Yes. Did you have some of these tools prior 

Kendall: to this diagnosis? Yes, I did. I've been a long time, twice a day, 20 minute meditator, and I've been doing that for about eight years which has been a lifeline.

But when you're stuck at home with massive [00:06:00] anxiety, the meditations were painful, . I didn't wanna actually be there with, the thoughts coming and going. So that's when I started to practice the emotional freedom technique. I started tapping. I started tapping, felt better, and then looked at the clinical data.

Cause I was doing everything I, anything I could think of. But in four days of a tapping practice, you can reduce anxiety up to 40% and depression by 35%. And there's even studies on P T S D and cravings and pain relief. And what I liked about it versus meditation is that it was so active.

I didn't have to just sit, I could actually move my body and tap on these points and drop the cortisol in my body while increasing the dopamine. So I started to get less stressed and happier. . Now I just became a tapping fool because it's temporary and then you gotta go back to it.

But I was tapping, I was meditating, I was moving, I was walking, I was praying, I was really diving deep into the gratitude practice of, I don't wish cancer on anyone. But I think, Karen, we even talked about this last time, the [00:07:00] people that show up in your life,. I'm happy that I went through it just for that, just to feel, I could feel people praying for me.

I could feel it physically. And then, acquaintances showed up in such ways and it was just I don't know. I just felt so, so loved, even though I was so scared. Can 

Karen: you talk about too, because I think for people listening it's like you sprung into action when you got the diagnosis, but can you just talk about that moment when you did get that diagnosis?

When, back to what you were saying before, so healthy, so young. How do you make that leap? From the paralysis of fear? 

Kendall: For better or worse, I outed myself unintentionally because I was young and healthy. they found it in a standard mammogram.

I went back for another one, went back for an ultra. had the biopsy, they were pretty sure it was cancer. But in the waiting time between the biopsy and finding out I had cancer, I had pretty much convinced myself, this is impossible. No one in my family has breast cancer. I've come from a large family, predominantly women.

I am young, I am [00:08:00] active. I'm a nutritionist. I do all of the things. This is gonna come back negative. So I started documenting on Instagram, and the documentation was really like, you know what? We're all struggling with something and we're all walking around maybe carrying a burden.

And your friends may not know. Acquaintances might know, and just I was trying to communicate that let's be easy on each other. We never know what we're walking around with. This is what's been on my heart this week. I'm sure it's gonna be fine. But I'm getting my results this afternoon, and so I did a live video, my video.

Yeah, it was nuts In retrospect, I'm guessing it's a good idea. At the time I'm filming my husband going into the surgical center with me. I'm gonna get this big negative, it was nothing diagnosis. And so they take me into the tiny room with all the Kleenex and I remember looking at my husband, this is weird, like, why are we in here?

Heart beating no. And the doctor walks in and just gets right to it and says, yep, you've got breast cancer and you. , you drop your body. , I didn't even hear anything. That's why you have to have someone with you. [00:09:00] after I got in the car, I knew I'd have to call my family.

I knew that people were actually on Instagram waiting for me to pop that on. Oh my goodness. And so I ha get back on maybe an hour after finding out, and I'm trying, it's still on my Instagram stories of me having to say, oh my God, I actually, I do have breast cancer. I can't believe this. So I decided I would start documenting all of it.

I documented going into the m r I documented, every little piece of it. And I lost count at some point, but there was something like 54 women attributed getting their first mammogram to that series. Because the whole time I'm like, go get your mammogram. Oh my God, go get your mammogram.

only 10% of cancers are genetic, which I didn't know at the time. and I was so surprised how many people are scared to get mammograms. and they're scared that they're gonna hurt and scared, obviously what they're gonna find out. But you don't wanna wait.

Yeah, it ended up documented at all. And it, I always wonder, if I hadn't done that first video, , I'm pretty convinced that I didn't have it. I wonder how I would've I probably ultimately would've communicated it and tried to [00:10:00] help other women. Cause again, I have a lot of women come into my dms and say, I never told anyone, but I had breast cancer 

there's this, there's almost a shame around it that it's still to this day, surprising to me. No one does anything. Get it. It happens, we're made of cells, and cells sometimes go bad. so I just wanted to be some sort of mouthpiece for people that feel some shame or don't feel comfortable sharing.

Karen: You were forced into that vulnerability. Yes. Like it or not, 

Kendall: right? Yeah. Karen, I don't know if I really answered your question, but what I did with it is just try to help other people. I felt better about my own situation if I felt like I was doing something and it feels 

Robyn: like you gave yourself literally a beat, you gave yourself an hour and then you were like, you know what? I'm just going to be honest, and then I'm gonna take people through it with me and you built a community around it and I'm sure ended up inspiring a lot of other people.

And I can see how 

Kendall: that would keep you going. Yes. Yeah. That's what wakes you up in the morning. I would say unfortunately, more often than not, at least a couple times a week, someone will send me a [00:11:00] message and say their friend just got diagnosed, what do I do? And what I usually recommend they do is actually.

 share either their number with me or give them my number. Because what I wanted, and I think a lot of women don't have, is someone impartial to talk to. , meaning everyone will tell you like, you gotta go to this doctor. You gotta get this surgery. Oh, don't get this surgery.

oh, This was a nightmare. Don't do this. And if you're doing that with a close friend or like your mom or your sister, you, you have to be worried also about what they're feeling. And so a lot of going through cancer is honestly trying to make the other person feel better about your diagnosis cuz they're scared.

And so I really started coaching before I was an anxiety and cancer coach because I'm like, when they talk to me, I'm not gonna tell 'em what to do with their. They're just gonna get to talk to someone that they may never see again. And so they can say whatever they want, they can ask whatever they want.

And so I did that for a year before I even opened the Deep Center, and I still do it. If someone's diagnosed, I'm like, let's get on the phone. What a resource. 

Karen: You do need that, don't you? Because there's. . What you find is you're just [00:12:00] in a totally different club of people who are in different walks of life, different income levels, different edu.

Yeah. Cause it it's indiscriminate. Yes. Who just, like you said, who it targets. But the fact that I just love your message of don't let it paralyze you. Obviously the fear and the time that it happened had to be overwhelming, but the fact that you could take action and that you were putting the camera on yourself.

How do I want my story to unfold? Yes. How do I want to take control of my story? And I love to say, the diagnosis is not the prognosis, No, it's just. . a piece of paper that says where you are right now at this very minute. That's right. But you can drive your own boat in any direction that you want.

Yes, as fast or slow as you want, but the most important thing is to move forward and let it. . 

Robyn: And I think what you're saying, Karen, for Kendall, it's you held yourself accountable and for everyone that might be slightly different. And you put that out there in the world but it could be cool for people to just document it themselves, even if they're not gonna share it.

[00:13:00] That's right. Publicly, yes. I think that telling, as you were saying, Karen, it was a way for you how do you want your story to unfold? That's right. That's 

Kendall: And you 

Karen: also, wanna hear from someone who has gone through the darkness and gotten to the other side. It's so important to hear.

From someone who has made it through. Because I think when you get that diagnosis, all you can think about is all the people that didn't make it through didn't. That's absolutely goes through your mind. So to see you and your where you are now to have all these resources of information because you've walked the walk, 

Kendall: oh, thank you. Thank you. And I also wanted to create something that for the people that didn't identify with, cancer's been hijacked by like hot pink and glitter And it's so bizarre to me. So it's like I didn't wanna be pigeonholed. I wanted to really be able to appeal to the woman who feels like a little bit more elevated from the glitter in the pink and not wanting to be projected onto them that this is part of your identity now.

You're like this pink ribbon person now. 

Karen: It's just it's something that's happened to you, but it isn't [00:14:00] you. And there's a difference, And you can define it in your own way and make it like you did. That's, that's right. Your own thing. Your own journey. Yeah. Love. Yeah.

Robyn: tell us about the deep center there's so much, 

Kendall: there's so much, there's so much matter of fact. I'm always like, I think maybe it's too wide. Maybe I need to narrow my scope. But, I knew I wanted to create some sort of anxiety online studio, some wellbeing studio.

Cause when I was working with women going through cancer it all came back to trying to mitigate that anxiety. So there's a studio component that has mindful and wellbeing resources, like guided meditations, guided tapping to rehab your body. There's classes so that you don't, start rolling your shoulders back and that you can stay confidently your own two feet without discomfort.

Classes for neuropathy and lymphedema, all those things that could potentially come after. And yoga nidra drop. So any sort of resource a woman might need. if she's not doing a great job handling anxiety on her own or she's navigating breast cancer, I have a studio for that so people can log in just like the [00:15:00] Peloton and, stream classes on demand.

So that's the studio. I also recently launched a course called the Daily Health Accelerator cause I interviewed and worked with a bunch of women and it didn't matter where they were in their phase of the breast cancer journey. If they were just diagnosed to 20 years out, the fear of cancer coming back is, Very prevalent and I have a client who calls it the pink monster.

She's just when life's going well, like that pink monster, that prevalent fear of cancer coming back, like rears its ugly head. So I created a course to help women. Really stop worrying about cancer coming back. Meaning, we can't guarantee anything but you, there are things that you can do, The first part of it is really getting control of anxiety, feelings of isolation, getting those tools in your toolbox. The second part is reclaiming your physical power so that. You don't have to just be a sitting duck for lymphedema, which is a lifetime risk. If you've had even one lymph node removed or radiated, you could potentially have lymphedema.

And so being able to give women those protocols, because there's one thing I see [00:16:00] missing after diagnosis or surgery. It's you ring the bell and they're like, you're great. See you in six months. And you're like, what the heck do I do now? What do I do with my body? No one's suggest. They're like, you'll be fine.

you were active before. And the truth was I started like hunching and having back pain, I wasn't fine. So the second part is really reclaiming that physical power. And then the last piece is detoxing what you can in your life. What are you using on your body? , what candles are you burning in your home?

You know what? What toxic relationships are you maintaining? And how are your boundaries? So we move through those modules, so at the end of it, at least they can control what they can control. And so that's the course. And then I do individual coaching as well. 

Karen: There's just so much that we don't know About what causes it. And I can see especially for people who are listening to our podcast who are spiritually curious and may have heard, all thoughts manifest and all of that. I think it could almost become More of a fear because we're aware that our thoughts, create a reality, So yes, once you get through that tunnel onto the other side, [00:17:00] it's really important to learn how to control the fear, control the thoughts and or at least how to proactively. Invite the good thoughts into our daily practice. That's right. Not to put a little barrier up so those other ones don't filter in.

Kendall: That's it. And there's so much guilt, oddly, that comes when you survive it. It's very strange that I was not expecting that. There's there's guilt of survivorship and then there's also that the guilt of I must have done this to. Like, how did I do this to myself? And you loop on that, especially when you're in treatment.

What did I do to flip the switch, And the truth is we didn't do anything wrong. No one causes this for themselves. And so you've gotta be able to digest those feelings in a way so that when it does pop up, you know that's an old thought.

you know nothing that's serving me well, and I can replace that with a more empowering. 

Karen: thought I think that's so important for people to hear too. Everybody that listens know that, my son Graham he was nine months old and we did the same kind of thing. It's oh my gosh.

What did I do? did I expose my [00:18:00] something to when I was pregnant? Was it where we were living? There were so many thoughts that went through our minds as well, of guilt just because we were his parents. But again, there's no way ever of knowing and I know that feeling too about the post.

You go you walk the walk with a lot of other people. Along the way that don't always make it through, and that is a really hard thing to it 

Kendall: with. So I felt you know what? I've survived it for a reason and I've gotta make it. . I've gotta give it some sort of purpose, so it's just not like this dark spot that happened.

Karen: And you can literally show people how to flip that darkness to the light and put, and maybe not live it every day. I think that's the other thing too. Sure. It's okay, that's in the past and now I'm gonna move forward and really embrace health and all of the positive things that I can do to keep my health where it is today.

Kendall: Yeah. Cause there are things that we can do. There are things that we know can contribute. And then there's things that I didn't have any of those things that contributed and I still got it. So it's just do the very best you can. Eliminate that perfection. Oddly I was a lot more rigid about a lot of the health practices before [00:19:00] cancer than I am after, which seems strange.

It seems like in reverse, but you do get the. Tomorrow's not guaranteed. I'm gonna do the very best I can and I have more fun now in my life than I did even my I bet my Yeah. 

Robyn: Cause you were doing all the in quote 

Kendall: things. Exactly. So it's 

Robyn: like there's gotta be a more of a balance.

It's a perspective. It gave you a completely 

Kendall: different perspective. it sure did. Yeah. And I think it shifted everything 

Karen: we learned too, that none of. Life crisis moments are lost, they're all given to us with an opportunity to learn Sure. And grow just in our own selves.

But then when you can help other people as a result, then you're really leaning into why you're here and Exactly. And really make, like you said earlier, it's like you can almost look at the experience with gratitude. 

Kendall: For sure, and I say that delicately. I'm tearing up right now because I know a lot of people do not consider their cancer journey the best thing that's ever happened to them.

But I honestly did, my path got real clear. I realized all the little stuff that we think [00:20:00] about that does not, matter at all. And it just, it's given me a purpose that I don't know that I would've found if I didn't get diagnos. And of course I feel fortunate cuz I, we don't know if it's gone forever, but it's certainly gone right now and.

It's it's easy to sit in my shoes and say oh, it was great. I'm so glad. But from a, like a relationship with universe and the relationship with my family and my friend and just everything has been richer because I had this near death experience. 

Robyn: there's two things I wanna say.

One, , it's only been two years, which really isn't that long for you to have such a shift, which I wanna point out to everybody. . And I think what you're saying, it really can apply to everybody anywhere you may not have tomorrow. Because the truth is we never know. We don't know how long we have here. For you, that was a very harsh reminder of it.

But now you are able to then, shout from the rooftops. Look, you can really have a different perspective on life. You can start doing 

Kendall: that today. . Yes. And the majority of my clients I work [00:21:00] with now are not women who've gone through breast cancer. They were just like me before breast cancer perfectionism and people pleasing and, workaholism and rigidity and, it's like I see them.

you don't have to go through this. You can decide now that you're worth it to invest in yourself, take the time for yourself. It doesn't take a lot of time, but you gotta know the tools that you can implement. And now I'm feeling like my mission is.

Gotten bigger, I guess the path has spread out a little bit more. 

Robyn: I'm glad you brought that up because I would love for you to talk about the fact that you are working with people with cancer and without cancer and 

Kendall: that the deep, yes, the 

Robyn: deep center is really for everyone.

Kendall: And recovering perfectionist , 

Robyn: I'm so grateful that this exists because. it really does change things when you go through something and you realize what was I doing? What was I 

Karen: doing? , for many of us, we don't even realize that is the source of our anxiety.

Right. It's I'm so anxious but I don't know why. And then when you just, this Yeah. Tiny little layer of surface that you go under, you're like, oh 

Kendall: yeah, [00:22:00] that's, me, I was like, maybe I should be dancing faster. I'll just dance faster. Just do more and get more done.

And when I do that, then I can relax, then I can feel better then, and when I've been working with, again, women with breast cancer, the through line is, I haven't talked to one yet. That wasn't an overachieving. Perfect. and I'm like, maybe that is the source of it. I'm confident stress played a part of it.

 I had a run in, it wasn't full cancer, but I had basically uterine pre-cancer five years before breast cancer. Again, nothing genetic. I thought that was my holy cow, where'd this come from? But now I'm good. Now I'm done. And then breast cancer came and. Super stressed out. I owned three brick and mortar studios.

I had 60 employees. I had grown really quickly. I was a terrible delegator. I had one studio where I could do it all, and then I had two and still tried, and then I had three. And that's impossible cuz he can't be in three places. You can't be in two either. But, . And so I just think my insides, even though it's meditating and I was moving and I was eating while my insides were like the acidic [00:23:00] stress pool.

And so I wanna help women before it turns, because we know stress is not helpful. Anxiety is not helpful to any illness. It's the root of all of it. So trying to help them before it. 

Karen: And how do you get past the anxiety 

Kendall: It's every day and it's having protocols and routines and things that you are committed to coming back to no matter what. Like I meditate no matter what I tap, no matter what I exercise, no matter. . And that is hard cuz it does come at the sacrifice of what can feel like family and friends and, I have grown children, but if I had kids in the house, that's a big pushback I hear from a lot of people.

But the truth is we know we're no good to anybody else unless we're good for ourselves. And since I started meditating and, this was years ago and my anxiety was starting to dial down. . What happens is after about maybe six months of it, you're acting better and you're more enjoyable to be around so that your family starts actually protecting your meditation time.

, like she's gotta go do her. Don't interrupt her. she needs her 20 minutes. And so it becomes like a family thing, which is neat. I think it's just [00:24:00] hard. We, as women were. Self-sacrificing typically, and we get rewarded for doing nothing for ourselves.

 That seems as like motherhood and being a good wife and I'm trying to change that paradigm. That way they don't end up like I did or with something else. . We'd 

Karen: love to give people who are listening tips of what would be yours you've talked a little bit about tapping.

Yep. Maybe you can talk more about some of those key resources that yess 

Kendall: anxiety starting to knock on your face. . Okay. So here's my easiest one. The easiest thing to do. is to practice some mindfulness, which is just feeling exactly what you're feeling at the time you're feeling it. So it's noticing my hands on my desk, even that one second of noticing what you're doing or noticing yourself breathing, or noticing yourself.

Pausing when you notice. And what you're doing it does cause your breath to slow down and it causes your body to shift into a parasympathetic state. So your nervous system starts to de excite and stress starts to basically reduce in your body instantly. So [00:25:00] anytime, and it doesn't have to be this big, you don't need special fingers in a special seat, in a special candle, 

you just need to notice yourself sipping your drink when you're sipping it or whatever it is. If you can take time throughout the day to notice that. that'll start to lower anxiety and you don't need a formal practice for that. However, if you would like a formal practice, I think carving out some time in the morning for routines that you like to start your day off well is really the best thing that I have seen in both myself and my clients.

Typically you're able to do it because the house isn't up. You do have to make some time to get up early, but again, it's really about what you like to do. So if you like to read, if you like to journal, if you like to meditate, do that. If you like to tap I say not exercise because. , again, I'm working with a lot of overachieving perfectionists.

They're exercising already. That's dialed. It's the quiet time that's what you need to again, shift into a state of healing. Let the anxiety come down. And a really simple one, if you don't have a formal practice that you can use now is taking [00:26:00] three minutes in the morning, first thing in the morning.

You don't even have to get outta. and ask yourself, who do you want to be today? Not what you wanna do, but who do you wanna be? I asked myself this morning, who do I want to show up to this podcast? Not what do I wanna say, but who do I wanna be?

And then once I'm clear about that, then I ask myself, what do I wanna do today? And make it one thing. If I did this one thing Today would've been a meaningful day. Not that whole pile, not that whole list, 

and so just asking yourself those two powerful questions before you get outta bed is enough to shift your energy and to start, to shift your nervous. I love that. 

Robyn: I'll be incorporating those into my morning before I get outta bed. I already have those. I'm so glad. But I'm not doing 

Kendall: those.

I know mine gets longer and I know And you know what? 

Robyn: And and it's, we are so fortunate cuz we meet so many. Thoughtful and Intune people, and we are always learn and my morning routine gets a little longer, but so worth it because I feel like I'm showing up so much more [00:27:00] in tune with who I really am every day and I'm able to be in service of others 

Karen: and you remind us that we have a.

Kendall: Yes. 

Karen: And it's so easy when you open your eyes to be like a list, , oh my gosh, I have so much to do and how am I gonna get through it? And the anxiety just You don't even Oh, yeah. Breathe. And the anxiety's hitting you of all the things. And then, but I love that. But I have the choice of who I wanna show up and being 

Kendall: today.

Yeah. And then I decide 

Karen: I wanna be that person of peace. In the midst of the madness I'm just gonna be peaceful no matter what happens, or I'm just gonna be joyful no matter what happens or I'm, I choose to be seen today as opposed to stepping back and letting the mayhem happen in front of me.

 It's just so empowering that very It is 

Kendall: thought. Yeah. And just affirming it. it's not like I have to go back and think about it. who did I say I wanted to be today? It's in there. 

Robyn: Yeah. And your point in saying one thing that you're gonna do that's easy.

Yes. You just made it 

Kendall: easy. Yes. And then, you know what's interesting when I ask myself, that's the one thing I wanna do, what I would've [00:28:00] said, , from a practical standpoint, if I wasn't outta bed and I was alert, I would probably name something else. But what bubbles to the surface is actually what matters.

It's the most important thing of that day. And it's not always work related, which I love because that's where a lot of us spend all of our energy and other stuff gets pushed to the back burn. 

Karen: Yes. That is so true. I just love Kendall how you give all these tips are so helpful.

If someone wanted to work with you Either through their cancer journey or just to help them deal with this anxiety and this not enoughness complex that many of us wrestle with. What would they expect? 

Kendall: What is your process? Yes. Yes. I Signature coaching program, that's 12 sessions and 12 steps.

it moves from really the grossest elements in your life to the most subtle. So we're moving from left brain to right brain as we travel through those 12 weeks. And, the first few sessions are really about clarity, what you wanna work on what you want to shift in your life and mindset.

and then by session [00:29:00] three I give them what I, they're called anxiety reducing techniques. So now that we know what they want, we've kinda shifted their perspective. Now we can immediately start implementing some techniques. And then we work on sleep. All this fundamentals of stress, like if your sleep's not right, You're stressed out, there's just no getting around it.

So working on sleep hygiene to food, it gets, from gross to more subtle. And then by the end, they've got a personal tapping practice. They've got a personal meditation practice, some breath work techniques that they can call on. So that it's a really holistic perspective because we, anxiety doesn't live in a vacuum.

It's got its tentacles and everything. And so we really have to, look, The behaviors that are accelerating, some of that anxiety. 

Robyn: And you spoke about food a couple of times. I Yeah. Noticed on your Instagram feed that you actually give a lot of recipes. I do. I know you mentioned you're a nutritionist.

Can you talk about that for a moment? The role in. The coaching and within the 

Kendall: deep center? Yes. Our favorite society anxiety reducing [00:30:00] tool causes anxiety. And so I talk a lot about not using alcohol as a crutch, because for a lot of people that glass of wine is their thing. And I'm about to go to a birthday lunch today with a friend.

I'm gonna have a glass of wine, so it's not like I'm down. On that, it's what sort of crutches are we leaning on that actually make our anxiety worse? Alcohol for sure is a one of them, is one of them. Too much caffeine for sure is another one of them. Eating processed foods, things that you're, not nourishing your body.

So I try to provide resources. I make a lot of mocktails and so I have those mocktail recipes on there. I posted yesterday a cookie recipe, but it's made with all really clean, nourishing ingredient. So that it's not filled with refined sugar that's causing inflammation. Like, all of these things matter.

And it's not that, eating a real cookie is bad. It's that if you're trying to reduce anxiety, these things might be making it worse. And so how can we shift that by what we're putting in our body and then choosing things. That are really comforting. I recently was in England with my husband and their ritual of a tea [00:31:00] with a biscuit in the middle of the day is so lovely.

And even with all the tools I have, that is not something I would typically do. Have a cookie in the middle of the day, . But I've really been leaning into having my hot tea with a yummy cookie. Whether it's a nutritious one I made, or maybe it's just shortbread because it makes me feel nostalgic but it brings me joy.

And so what brings me joy? And so I try to put some recipes on there that just, that brings some joy 

Karen: I love that. And I also love the fact that you talk about something that I think is so important is especially around anxieties, that we always forget that we're this complicated like we are a machine that is, Nurtured and fed by the food that we put in there. So if we put in the wrong ingredients, it can elevate our anxiety without all the other emotional aspects there. So there are things nutritionally we can do just by those choices I think that's just so important for people. And yeah, step in to the feel good moments that you can Yes. Pepper into your day. I think and much joy. Yeah, if it's a little teeny kindy ritual like that, [00:32:00] that just gives you a moment to be present and to fully lean into something that feels good for you.

That just does wonders and we're just so taught ugh, I don't need to do, there's too many other things to do. I can't prioritize that in my life and yet it can be minutes. 

Kendall: absolutely . You would've spent it scrolling on Instagram anyway, , let's do something 

Robyn: else.

Exactly. Yeah. And it goes to that idea of the rigidity, Being, yes, we wanna do as much as we can, that's good for us. if you're consistent about putting all those good things in your body, or practicing some of these techniques, some of these techniques, then those joyful moments that may go out of that zone.

They're actually just gonna infuse you. break out of that zone sometimes for the joy because that feeling that it brings you is actually even more important. 

Kendall: It's richer. Even second, I start saying I can't or I shouldn't.

Then it's I must now I have to. Yes. Cause I don't wanna be someone who's always saying no. Yes. And is holding themselves so tight. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. 

Karen: It's also a really good message it sounds [00:33:00] cliche almost now because everybody says it, but to be present.

I love what you just said earlier about the anxiety moments. Stop, where are you? Where are your hands? Just very practical ways of just bringing yourself back down, getting out of your head, the anxiety's always about going into the future. It's, that's it.

Always trying to drive down the road Yeah. Before you even get there and all of the churning that your head does ahead of time. So if you can literally just bring yourself back to either looking out the window and at the sky or whatever it is, just to remind you No, that hasn't happened.

Kendall: You're right here. You're right now. 

Karen: And anything can happen, It can go really well, too , probably, 

Kendall: and it probably will, another really practical tool that it's not really so much nutrition, but I always think this is like anytime I can stack these things, it makes it more powerful.

So warm water is, and so I put warm water with a lemon every morning. And then holding something warm is also very soothing for your nervous system. So warm water, with lemon while holding it while breathing is like [00:34:00] three stacks of, things that reduce your anxiety and can push you back to a more rest and recovery state.

So I'm always thinking it's not a time thing. You can stack some of these things. It doesn't have to be its own segment in your. 

Karen: Great tips. 

Robyn: and they're really something like, even I'm thinking about my daughter who has suffered from some crippling anxiety.

She could, what you just talked about with the warm water and it's not even an age thing, No, it really transcends. . 

Kendall: . Yeah. And it's just being intentional. I could take a shower or I could take a bath, , take a bath.

That's gonna really reduce my anxiety, I could slather on the lotion or I could slow down with some body oil and let my nervous system, practice that technique called Abi, where when you rub yourself with, oil, it's an Ayurvedic technique it de accelerates your nervous system.

we have choices and they're sometimes. the same option, just looked at a little bit differently. 

Robyn: And I think that so many people don't really know these options. They don't know what's possible, what's out there, and you bringing all of these different resources [00:35:00] together and serving them up, it allows them to.

understand they have a choice, but then there's so many different opportunities. 

Kendall: To make different choices. Yes. Like a buffet . And I'm launching a new product called Anxiety University. So it's a subscription where I go live and I teach for an hour every single month with some q and a about going deep on some of these techniques, really breaking down some of my one-on-one work for more of a group coaching setting so that they can have the the trainings for.

I have a tapping program. So I teach people how to tap for themselves. I'm putting that into the membership. Cause it's true, I luckily, I'm a seeker right? And I know obviously you are too. So I find these resources for myself, but a lot of people know where to go and so I'm I'll just put 'em all together.

Karen: That's our goal is to curate as much of this information for people as possible. especially in situations where a diagnosis comes their way. That at that moment in time, that's where they really need a trusted place to go. And to your point, the medical [00:36:00] world is great and it's there to serve a purpose, but we're so multi-dimensional.

And all of these resources that you have, Kendall, are the ones that supplement. And really help that anxiety, at least gives you tools to work with that. And, anxiety's gonna be there, fear's always gonna be there in some shape or form. Oh. just having these alternative ways of dealing with them.

And the simpler, the better. . 

Kendall: Yeah. As a matter of fact, like more simple. Usually one, you'll execute it and it's just as powerful. 

Robyn: I've learned so much 

Karen: I 

Robyn: love being with you both. Thank you. 

Kendall: Thanks. 

Karen: Thanks. I love your authenticity, Kendall.

Thank you so much for 

Kendall: being 

Karen: so brave, first of all and just taking action with. What you've been given and thank you, and helping other people with that. I just know that is why you're here. You are here for a reason and it's just so great to be able to meet you and share you with everybody.

Kendall: Yes. Thank you. And thank you for seeing me really seeing my heart. I really appreciate it. I feel very seen and 

Robyn: very held, And and for everyone listening. Not only are you a beautiful person on the outside, you can feel your beauty that [00:37:00] is coming from within and your energy.

It's like bl, this blanket of. light. That is what it feels like. I have to say, and I bet everyone right now can feel that. . Oh, and to Karen's point, there's that authenticity and it's just light. Who doesn't wanna be around 

Kendall: that?

Thank you. Thank you so much. Gosh. That's, energy is one of the words I chose that I wanted to be today energetic. . 

Robyn: I glad I see that. I feel it. 

Kendall: Thank 

Robyn: you. You can find out more about Kendall and the deep Center.

 On the Deep Center Co. You can also follow Kendall on Instagram and Facebook at the Deep Center. Thank you, Kendall. Thank you.