Spiritual Gifts Hidden in Your Pain: Rediscovering Faith + Strength - Episode 119

We are here with a very special teacher in our lives, Lo Anne Mayer.  Lo Anne is not only a spiritual trailblazer who has studied and practiced many healing modalities for over 30 years, she’s an author, spiritual practitioner, and intuitive counselor who has impacted thousands with her wisdom, guidance and positivity.

Lo Anne is also Karen's spectacular mom, mentor, and human soul guide. You may remember Lo Anne from our previous conversation with her about transpersonal journaling.

This week we're talking about Lo Anne's new book Treasure’s in Grief: Discovering the 7 Spiritual Gifts Hidden in Your Pain. She shares her personal and remarkable story rediscovering faith, strength and her soul's purpose. On a heart-opening trip to bring closure to her daughter's passing, she receives wisdom that we can all apply to transform our lives. Lo Anne’s courage, compassion and unwavering search for growth offers hope for all of us to persevere and find the hidden treasures within our pain.

MORE FROM LO ANNE MAYER

• Order Lo Anne's book, Treasures in Grief, Discover the Seven Spiritual Gifts Hidden in Your Pain 
• Order Celestial Conversations, Healing Relationships After Death
• Listen to our prior podcast with Lo Anne, Talk to the Other Side and Heal Relationships After Death
• Visit loannemayer.com for more about Lo Anne.

Visit theseekingcenter.com for more from Robyn + Karen, plus mega inspo -- and the best wellness + spiritual practitioners, products and experiences on the planet!

You can also follow Seeking Center on Instagram @theseekingcenter.

Transcript

Robyn: [00:00:00] I'm Robyn Miller Brecker and I'm Karen Loenser. Welcome to Seeking Center, the podcast. Join us each week as we have the conversations and we, through the spiritual and holistic clutter for you, we'll boil it down to what you need to know now, we're all about total wellness, which to us needs building a healthy life.

Karen: On a physical, mental, and spiritual level, we'll talk to the trailblazers who'll introduce you to the practices, products, and experiences that may be just what you need to hear about to transform your life. If you're listening to this, it's no accident. Think of this as your seeking center and your place to seek your center.

Robyn: And for the best wellness and spiritual practitioners, experts, products, experiences, and inspo, visit theseekingcenter. com. 

Karen: We are here with a very special teacher in our lives.

Loanne Mayer. Loanne is not only a spiritual trailblazer who has studied and practiced many healing modalities over the last 30 years, she's an author, spiritual practitioner, and an intuitive [00:01:00] counselor who has impacted thousands with her wisdom, guidance, and positivity. 

Loanne is also my incredible mom, mentor, and human soul guide who has taught and inspired me in everything I know. Previously, she's been with us on Seeking Center to talk about her book, Celestial Conversations, Healing Relationships After Death, which shares her story of how she used transpersonal journaling as a tool for not only healing her relationship with my sister and grandmother, but also to help others learn that we can always communicate with our loved ones on the other side.

We're excited to share Loanne's new book, Treasures and Grief, discovering the seven spiritual gifts hidden in your pain. 

 This follows her personal story on how she was able to navigate the path of grief to rediscovering faith, strength, and her soul's purpose.

Karen: Her inspiring book guides us through the journey of grief, revealing the spiritual gifts that can be found within the process of healing. Loanne's courage, compassion, and unwavering search for growth and purpose offers hope for those navigating their own paths of grief. It also shares the power of [00:02:00] resilience.

Loanne's and the transformative potential of embracing our pain to find the hidden treasures within. Welcome, Mommy Mayer. I'm so glad to be here. 

Robyn: We were saying before we got going is that your energy is interwoven into all that we do.

 You should know that. 

Loanne: Promise my heart girls, because you're making such a difference on the planet. Needed so badly right now. I'm just couldn't be happier that it's moving along so well. 

Karen: And what you're doing, even though it's been two years since we had the last conversation with you for those listening in those two years, you've written another book, which has been such an inspiration to me as your daughter seeing the strength.

 To really watch you go through this process of unraveling your journey and really looking, as you say in the title, for the gifts that are hidden in pain. And we've all been through some form of grief in our lives, but I don't think we're always inspired to look for the gifts that are there.

I think many of us just try to get past it and live with it. [00:03:00] And this book really gives the reader some really inspiring ways to look at those gifts in their own lives and to live through them and with them and ultimately give to other people who are going through grief.

So it's a really important book. Can you start? at the very beginning of the book and explain why you started in 

Glastonbury, why did you go there and how was that part of your healing journey? And then lastly, how did you get that past life memory that came to you there?

There's a lot of really good, What do you mean past life memory? Yeah, there's woowoo in here. it's not just about her grief journey. There's really good stuff. 

Loanne: The reason I went there, is that I was a part of an International Grief Council retreat that was supposed to be put on in Oxford Manor in England.

And as I was preparing for it, I realized that it wasn't that far from Glastonbury. So at that time, I thought maybe if I went back to Glastonbury, which is where I was when Cindy died and where I was notified of her death, that maybe it would bring closure to my own grief. After [00:04:00] all, it was 11 years since Cindy had died.

 I was in Glastonbury in 2005 when I was notified that our daughter, Cindy died and I was ripped out of Glastonbury. hours to go home to bury our daughter. At the time, I had just gotten a little bit of a taste of this incredible city and I felt like I had not really seen what I needed to see there.

So the combination of the opportunity to go back to Glastonbury prior to the grief retreat and the fact that I could go and look at all the things I never got to see and perhaps find the closure that I thought comes with grief. At that time, I didn't realize that it's not closure at all. It's growth.

When I got to Glastonbury, I was so excited to go around and look at everything. And , I put aside five days prior to the b to go to see everything I could possibly see. And in fact, three people came with me from the United States to England because they had never been there.

And I set out to do an awful lot of walking because [00:05:00] there aren't trains or cabs or anything like that in Glastonbury. You walk. And so I did. And it was like coming home in a way. I felt as if I had been there before. it was like going home but you didn't get to see your sister or your best friend because you were too busy.

And that was a really good feeling to arrive in Glastonbury. 

 So this 

Robyn: was in 2016. And for those who don't know, where is Glastonbury? 

Loanne: Oh, Glastonburys in England. People have been going there since 900 ad Wow. When the Abbey was built. And it was the largest, richest Abbey in all of Europe at one time. 

Robyn: Oh, that's interesting. 

Loanne: And 

Karen: mom, I think you should also share too, you told me, what I didn't know when you went there that Glastonbury is also known as the heart chakra of the planet.

Loanne: And the world. Yes. I didn't know it either when I was there, but it certainly explains that's where my heart broke. Wow. 

Robyn: That is significant. And what does that mean to be the heart chakra of the world? 

Loanne: For those of us who have studied metaphysics, and there may be many people watching who are [00:06:00] just as interested as you are, everybody has and I did not know the planet has chakras.

Sedona is one, actually, in the United States. Glastonbury is another, and it works its way around the world. And oddly enough, it was told to me in a course that I was taking with a nun, Of course. 

Robyn: Isn't that unbelievable? again, there's a lot of people who are deeply religious.

You are deeply religious. And yet, you can learn about our energy centers and you can have these greater beliefs regardless of religion. I love that you pointed it out, that came from a nun. 

Loanne: She's actually my Reiki master. 

Karen: on. This is how my mom rolls. I know she has found this miraculous way to weave in her deep religious faith with Catholicism, with all of these metaphysical beliefs and experiences.

And that's what I love about her. And then let's carry out the rest. So now we know you're in Glastonbury, England, the heart chakra of the planet. You're going back to the place literally where your heart. was [00:07:00] broken 

try to heal. And then what happened there, 

Loanne: The first place I went to was the place I was living in at a writer's retreat in 2005, and I wanted to go back to that place to see what was important to remember, because when you get news on the telephone that your child has died, everything blurs together and you don't really know what you're doing you just want to go home, that was the main thing.

So I had permission from the Abbey House, which is right next door to the Abbey, and that's the place that runs this Abbey now as a tourist attraction. And I had permission to go in the building again so I could remember why I had gone there, what I was doing there, how it felt to leave there.

it was a very good thing for me to do because one of the people who came with me a psychologist, from Germany, who practices metaphysical things within her practice. And she came to come to the retreat, but then offered to meet me there. So I had someone with me that I could, lean on if I needed to ask questions or just to walk with me because it was so overwhelming to be back in that place again.

Karen: Yeah, it was the [00:08:00] site of That trauma. So you were literally visiting it physically, emotionally, and mentally. 

Loanne: And when I got there, it was very fascinating to me because immediately I was thrust into a memory of getting in the car and going out the driveway with a taxi that was called for me to go to London.

To fly home and to meet Karen who was there and I could see myself being put in the cab and the women handing me money cause I didn't have any cash or anything. I hadn't planned to leave right then.

And then, all of a sudden, the taxicab disappeared, and the reality of where I was there, so with my friend Julianne, and we, walked maybe an hour, looking at things, remembering things, and believe it or not, it was very comforting to be there. I wasn't remembering the shock of it.

I was remembering how much I loved the town. 

Robyn: Because you do practice transpersonal journaling, before you went, Were you writing to Cindy and letting her know you were going?

Was there any dialogue? 

Loanne: No. I was doing more of the transpersonal journaling for children, her children, which were very precious to me. I [00:09:00] was also preparing for the grief retreats. So I didn't see the connection at all. it wasn't until I got there that I began to see the connection of what I needed to know.

At that point in my life, because as I said, this was many years later, and I had been in Compassionate Friends, I'd been in counseling for a couple of years. So I really didn't see that I would find the connections I did find in Glastonbury. It was just to go back to this town that I fell in love with.

Karen: So it called you. 

knew you needed to go back and release that trauma and have that extra step. In your healing journey, it feels like 

Robyn: yeah, it's so interesting to me when you talk about how you didn't even know, because you hadn't done so much work in grief over those years.

And I just to share very quickly story from me the first time I ever met a medium. Which was many years after my father passed away. I didn't realize I needed that closure either, honestly. So it's very different, but I can relate on that level of the not [00:10:00] knowing and then the comfort that can come when you least expect it.

And I think that is so beautiful. 

Loanne: Surprising. 

Robyn: So surprising. Yeah. 

Karen: And don't you think that a lot of people will feel that way, even in just listening to your story? I think as we started to say at the beginning, I think so many people are so focused on overcoming the grief and like you, I think you had felt in a way that, you were doing so much to give back to people and help them through their grief journey.

Not really recognizing. And acknowledging what those gifts were for yourself. So I think that's 

Loanne: part of why I'm so proud of this book because the idea that most organizations, most counselors who are in the grief world are are really pushing The person they're working with or the group that they're working to get back to a normal life again, right?

Because it knocks the socks out of you and you just don't know what to do so there's a very good reason why they push that. But nobody the years that I have been involved in grief has ever said to me, turn around and look what you learned. 

No one. 

Robyn: deep in that world. 

Karen: I think that's the [00:11:00] calling and my mom is always been the counselor, the teacher, the spiritual guide. And now she knows, I think after writing the book that, you have to walk that walk truly before you can give those gifts back to others.

And you can recognize them in yourself. 

Loanne: also, Karen, I think it's part of the mission of my life. When I looked back, there are so many opportunities to help others, and this is still just helping others. It's all under the same umbrella, but it was a gradual understanding to helping. Save my mother feel better after my father asked her for a divorce.

That was my way of learning to help someone heal. And then later on, there were other opportunities. So I think this is the culmination of what I think was my original mission, which is to come in to help others feel. And I did not know that I only just because of this book have become aware of the fact that I did have a mission, but I didn't know it and I was still doing it.

 Let's talk a moment then about, so you're back in Glastonbury and you go to this chapel and you are [00:12:00] deeply in prayer, but you're also meditating. Tell us about that experience and what you saw and how that inspired really the basic.

Karen: idea around the book? 

Loanne: First of all, I'd been looking at all the sites and I had walked to they call the thorn tree. There's a place in Glastonbury, which was about two miles from the St. Margaret's Chapel. And it was up a hill and it was quite a climb to get there just to supposedly, according to the legend, it came from the walking stick that came from Joseph of Arimathea.

who came to Glastonbury after Christ's crucifixion because there were so many people being sought after to get rid of the Christians. And so he and a bunch of others came to Glastonbury, which he had been to before he sold a tin, as I recall. Anyway this thorn tree, ever since he planted the walking stick in the ground when they got there and fell asleep has bloomed every Christmas and Easter since.

Wow. And until recently, I think in the last four or five years, somebody chopped it down. I guess they didn't want the [00:13:00] traffic or whatever. but I had gone there with my friend and it was, and Karen will tell you, I'm not a hiker. No, she's not a hiker. Bless me. And then it was also two miles from the Abbey.

So we walked back and on our way, we saw this little town. Chapel St. Margaret's Chapel. It's a very teeny tiny place, but it was at one time the hospital for the Abbey when in the olden days when the Abbey was at its height, they had a hospital for the pilgrims who came who was sick. So I said, I gotta sit. so we went in there and were so surprised because there was nothing outside that led you to believe that it was a very precious, beautiful treasure in Glastonbury.

And when I got in there, they had this garden that was so cute and little rooms one room had all that orbs. They had a woman who was displaying the orbs she had taken. Wow. In England. It was just like going to a museum but it was It felt like it just wrapped its wings around you, so I sat there quite a long time and I had been working on [00:14:00] forgiveness for the longest time ever since Cindy died, and I really thought that this was the time, I got the impression, this was the time for me to learn about forgiveness.

So I enjoyed sitting there and asking God for his help and so forth, and then I went out again and went to see the orbs That my friend said, you got to see this. and came back into the chapel. She went on and I sat there for I don't know how long there was nobody in the chapel.

Everybody came to see the other things. And I said a prayer asking if while I was there, I could find a way. To really, truly forgive the people that I blamed for Cindy's death. And when I finished praying, I looked up and it had this beautiful little tiny altar and above the altar were these, this list of words that kind of hung in the air and they were golden sparkling, one right after the other and started out with courage and compassion.

And faith. And then I looked at it and the next one was a spiritual expansion. And the one after that was forgiveness, not at the top, but the fifth one. And then there was one on [00:15:00] unconditional love, and the final word, as it went down over just above altar itself was mission. And I don't know how long I sat there.

I was like, what is that? And I looked around, I hoped that somebody would come in so I could say, do you see what I see? Because there was no way to corroborate what I was looking at. I just say 

Robyn: what you're saying is this wasn't actually written. Above, this was like you were seeing it as 

Loanne: a vision, nobody 

Robyn: else have probably seen it.

Loanne: The people who had come in and out. Nobody was like, oh, did you see anything like that? So I knew it was for me. So I spent some time just memorizing the list. I'm thinking, I know I'll find out what this is all about. And I was still thinking about the grief retreat.

And I thought maybe it has something to do with that. But I came home after the grief retreat and it just hung in my mind. What does that mean for me, not for anybody else. And I found that since Cindy had died, and I think this will be true for those of you who are watching, I had become much more courageous.

I had done things, I had written a book as a cradle [00:16:00] Catholic, that had to do with life after death and had to do with reaching through the veil and had to do with opportunities to see things that I never would have said out loud anyway. And I put it in a book and published it. At 60, I was 60 years old at the time.

So I said, yeah, I really have become more courageous. And then it pushed me to the compassion and definitely anyone who's lost a loved one becomes more compassionate of others who are losing their loved ones, especially parents of children who have died. There is just this immediate I know that my heart hurts for you feeling.

So yes, I thought I was compassionate prior, but. I definitely was more more compassionate afterwards. And then, not for everyone, but for me, I have a very deep faith in my religion, but my faith just exploded more when I went to the Holy Land 

and I watched all these people who had started important leadership roles in the different faiths. All of them lost children. 

Robyn: And this is in Jerusalem you're talking about, 

Loanne: ? In Jerusalem. And so I'm looking around [00:17:00] and of course Mary is my special person in my church.

And how did you walk and live your life after this? How did you do that? That was my prayer. And I know that from the time I returned from the Holy Land. My faith deepened because I realized that all of these people turn to their higher power. All of them. And all of them made a considerable difference on the planet.

Karen: I have the That's so inspiring. 

Loanne: I that it was really important to me to find a way to share this information. So I started looking at Amazon and some of the organizations that I used to belong to, Compassionate Friends and so forth.

Does anybody know anything about how this has affected people? After the death, because these were treasures for me. I named this book precisely the way I felt a treasure to learn that. Yes, I have become more courageous and compassionate and my faith is deeper. And it was partly, it was like your soul opens up a little bit and you're open.

You're able to allow things to come to you that You did not imagine would come to you. my biggest problem was [00:18:00] waiting for someone to write this book. I said, somebody has to put this in the print. And it was Karen. You were the one that finally said to me, will you just please write the book?

It must've been three years after I came home. Cause I was so sure that somebody somewhere would have seen or felt or understood what I was understanding. I never found it. Even now I asked do you know any other book like this? And it was such a 

Robyn: clear message. 

, you were given this download, this vision, so 

Loanne: that you could bring it 

Robyn: into the world.

There's no doubt. 

Loanne: I think so. I think for me, it was like, I never intended to write another book.

Robyn: What is your definition of a spiritual gift? 

Loanne: I'm not sure if I'm right about it, but I believe your soul's need to give you information that is important. I really feel that's what it is. It's not if you haven't seen it, the soul somehow, It helps you understand that courage is important.

The soul helps you see compassion as important, and it comes very often after trauma. 

So that's how I look at it, if that helps me or anyone understand it. But I think [00:19:00] a spiritual gift is something that people recognize if it is spiritual. They recognize it. They don't know why it is.

How could this be? It's not intuition. It's more the gift of, say, compassion. They feel it. They know what it is. And some of us don't even care where it comes from because we finally get it. That's right. 

Robyn: I love that. 

Karen: And it feels like whatever it is, it's always attached to love.

It's always attached to a feeling of, 

Robyn: yeah, it's going to feel good. Yes. Exactly. 

So talking about that spiritual expansion.

Which is number four. The 

Loanne: spiritual expansion started for me through the international grief council. I met a woman who she interviewed me in a podcast after celestial conversations was was printed. And she was writing a book about the loss of her mother and father.

And she's born and raised in India. And we have So many comparative thoughts about how important it was to talk about your grief because there is this feeling in the United States and in England that you just stuff it, and we had that time and found that if we talked about it, we felt [00:20:00] better not to whine, not to say, oh, poor me, but to say, this is how I feel.

This is what happened. So this thing in itself. And then after that, another woman from France , . And she was born and raised in Israel. What I found so fascinating about this woman, is that her only brother had come home from the army and He had gone swimming and never came back.

He died. 

Robyn: They never 

Loanne: found his body. 

Robyn: And 

Loanne: so she flew home to be with her parents to help them sit Shiva and do whatever is necessary. And she went to his computer and she was going through, basically to let people know that he had died. And she heard him say to her behind her, don't go so fast.

I want to read. I want to read what's on the computer. Wow. And she said, I don't know who to talk to about this. so we talked a lot and long story short, we started the International Grief Council and in doing so we did it with the idea that if people had the opportunity to talk about it and they were in a large group, they would find somebody else to talk about it after we left.

Because what happens is you need someone to [00:21:00] say guess what happened to me and I think we did a lot of good in that time frame in the United States. And that was the group that was going to do the brief retreat in England. 

Karen: And just underscore the fact that these women were literally globally.

In different places, different religions, and yet that thing that united you was that grief and how that is such a universal thing that people just don't recognize that no matter what religion you are, where you are around the globe, we all carry it and it needs to have a voice. It really does. We 

Loanne: all speak a common language.

That's what we found. And in doing that, it is opportunity to share, like when we gave the talks, I remember 

Nothing: and 

Loanne: a lot of times what happens is that women need to talk about their grief and then need to figure out what happened before they can talk about it.

very often they don't talk with each other. And in fact, many people get divorced because of that. But when you get into a group and you see your neighbor had the same experience or your somebody from your church had the same experience, it seemed to give them the [00:22:00] opportunity to talk about it, not just with us, but when we left.

And that to me was just so heartwarming. 

Robyn: And then we get to number five of the treasures. Which was what was really where you were going for in the first place in the first day for just forgiveness. about that 

Loanne: Forgiveness for me is one of the hardest of the list Because you have to be willing to let go of your judgment and I'm a Leo so I judge really 

Karen: Yep in 

Loanne: the So I had a lot to learn over that.

Because in this situation, I really had a hard time forgiving those who were involved in what I felt and the reason that Cindy died. So it was like the mother against the religion, if 

Robyn: yeah. 

Loanne: And so for me, what was very helpful. Is when we went to the after this visit to Glastonbury, my friend Daniel became incidentally a past life Regressionist in France, which is where she was living at the time. And she gave a past life regression for our group and the grief [00:23:00] retreat, which I was a part of. I sat through it and I found it was so fascinating to me because in this.

Group of people where we all followed her directions in a ranch kind of place. Do 

Karen: this is the past life experience that. Yes, And this fits into the forgiveness category.

Loanne: And it happened in the grief retreat with Daniela Norris and the two that I started. And as I sat there in this reverie, whatever you call it, I was very much aware that someone was coming on horseback.

Into the area where we lived and vandals had already come and burnt the house down in the barn and did all this stuff. And my little girl and I were just stuck there, not knowing what to do. Anyway, this man. Who came on horseback with a another body thrown over the horse, who was clearly dead, turned out to be the husband of mine at that time, I knew immediately that this was the husband of my daughter Cindy in this life.

I knew the guy on the 

Karen: horseback was.

Loanne: And I didn't know what to do. My initial

feeling about him in his life was really [00:24:00] awful. It's very much to blame for what I thought Cindy died anyway,

 And for some reason now, whenever I think of him, I think of him on horseback. Oh, 

Robyn: That's amazing. That person 

Karen: behaved right in that life experience. And as Robyn and I talk about, mom, it's that, we are all souls kind of playing roles. In our life experience and in that one that memory feels like it was specific for you to remember that he has been in your life before as someone who helped you through that life experience that played a role in that life experience, and is playing also a role in this one and 

Loanne: it changed me on the spot.

Wow, which is so amazing because you knew how many years I felt the other way it was quite astounding that could happen. But now when I think of him now I think of that. I don't think of what I thought of before. So that in essence has helped me a lot with my forgiveness.

Robyn: Can I just also point out one more thing when we talk about past life regression and, 

Karen pointed out, we talk about it quite a bit and I just hope that people watching or [00:25:00] listening can understand it can feel so real. Now when, if you were to die in your past life regression, you don't feel any pain in that way, like physical pain or anything, but in these memories.

That you can have of these past lives, they are tangible they really do stay with you, I know what you mean when you say you think of him in that way every single time, it becomes part of this consciousness, It's like you are now able to bring that into this consciousness. , I can't underscore how powerful and life changing and transformative that can be, and I thank you so much for sharing that. 

Loanne: I agree with you, and I agree with you, especially for people who are afraid of it, and I was one of those people. I remember Karen and I have a mutual friend who is a past life regressionist who came and stayed in our house. And I remember she asked me if I would like to have a past life regression.

And I was like, no, that's okay. Because I had this fear. And I remember my daughter Diane saying, [00:26:00] Oh, for God's sake, she's living in your house and you're not going What is wrong with you? And it turned out that particular past life regression was extremely helpful to me. I agree with you that people who who are uneasy about it, if they find someone that they feel comfortable with, yes.

That would be a very easy way to slide in, just to get one taste of it. And once you have the taste, you're not fearful anymore. 

Karen: And there was another one that came to you that you talked about in the book in Glastonbury. No. 

Loanne: Yes, that was in the beginning, you reminded me, when I went back to Glastonbury after I went to the Abbey house.

I was so eager to get to the Abbey itself that I wound up going there at four o'clock and they were closing at five, but as I was standing there. This nun seemed to walk across the property into what was the kitchen, in the days. And I remember thinking, how could that happen?

Because she really wasn't there. She was, for lack of a better word, a ghost walking across. Nobody turned their head. I was actually standing at what they called the grave of King Arthur and Guinevere. So nobody was interested in somebody [00:27:00] passing me by, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

And basically, I sat and did a meditation and it turned out to be another past life that I had, apparently, in the time of, The abbey being so active, and this nun was directed by the prioress of the order to give me some time to talk, and she did not like it at all. And she did not want to until I gave her a piece of paper signed by the prioress that I was allowed to be there and talk to her, but it turned out to be so interesting for me because she walked me through several parts of the Abbey that were no longer there, a kitchen, a library and so forth. And I said, And I came here to talk to you.

Karen: I wanted to capture a little bit of that past life story because I think it's so significant , you and I have talked about the fact that you believe that you were there during the time of King Arthur and Guinevere, and you played a role in the church at that time.

And that was definitely, it was a coming home for you. In every way, it was a coming home in this story of Cindy, but it was also a coming home [00:28:00] in the sense that you were literally in that heart chakra space. Back into 

Loanne: also that I think it grounded me into that place of being open. Do you know what I mean?

I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn't expect that part of it I just wanted to go back from my memory, but what was being added into spiritually for me was Information that I needed to know and I didn't know I needed to know having the experience of past life regression was like, that's interesting.

I didn't tell anybody at all about it and I didn't put it into place until later when I was writing the book. And I realized that was a gift, another treasure for me. that 

Karen: you can look at it and phrase it that way. We haven't talked yet about unconditional love. Tell us about that. 

How is that a gift that you received from? 

Loanne: Now for me, unconditional love was a really hard thing. I understand it intellectually, but what is it they say? The longest 14 inches is between the head and the heart. The unconditional, I never experienced that when I was growing up. the, Family that I lived with, my dad went to West Point, a lot of [00:29:00] rules and regulations, my mother was what we call pre Vatican too, very Catholic, you couldn't veer one way or the other in my childhood years.

And then I just felt that my school was, I went to parochial school, it was very conditional, so learning about unconditional love was late in life for me. I had the good fortune of meeting and getting to know Archbishop Sheen, who was a very good teacher about the way that God looks at us with total unconditional love.

I never heard that before. And yet, as I got to know him I felt like Yeah, if I were God I would want to do that too. I moved into that, feeling that unconditional love is something I needed to learn, work on personally and I have ever since. It's not easy, especially, When you have situations in your life, whether they are people or whether there are such situations at work or their political situations, it's not easy to be unconditional as you look at these people who you may feel are not doing their best or living their best life, but trying to stay unconditional has helped me to filter out a lot of the [00:30:00] negative thought processes that I used to have.

And I have no way come to feel that I have. I've gotten to unconditional love, but I do know what I want, and I am working on it before I die. I expect that I should make that happen, or I'll just be here a long time. 

Karen: you achieve 

Robyn: it, and we hope you're here a long time. 

Karen: Listen, it's a struggle, right? here to be love. That is the true calling that we all have. 

The unconditional part can be the challenge. 

Loanne: it seems like it's spread this conditional feeling of judgment. It has been so worldwide. It's hard for people who really want to do it. To stay focused on that because it's like being those weeble wobble toys years ago and you punch it and it comes up again.

It's everywhere if you turn on the television but I know there are people who are doing that. I know there are people like the Dalai Lama. There are lots of people out there who are really focused on finding a way to be loving to the world.

I believe, the more you focus on what you want, like unconditional love, the more you connect with those [00:31:00] people, even though they're not physically in your presence, there is an energetic connection between those who want to, like myself, who would like to be more unconditional and those who are really good at it.

And those are the people I want to connect with. 

Robyn: I know we're gonna talk about mission in a second, but I think so much of that is the example that you use where you could see in the case of Cindy and how you had been feeling about her then husband, but then seeing him in this different light, , we also need to see ourselves in everybody, right? There is a piece of us and there's people mirroring.

who we are, even if we don't like them or think we don't like them. I believe that is part of what can make you feel whole and back to source of who you are, which is love by really stopping yourself when you have the judgment to understand where are they coming from and why is that being reflected to me right now?

 I know that sounds, complicated, but the more you practice it, the less complicated it is and you'd catch yourself. It's that awareness. The more aware you can be the happier your [00:32:00] life becomes. It really becomes more full of joy.

Robyn: And there's so much less. hate in your heart and your life. And so you can look at what's going on. Differently. You start to recognize that we're all souls.

 I so appreciate what you're saying, and it's a journey, 

Loanne: it is a journey and I think at this stage of my life it's also about thinking about what is it you want to complete out of these.

The way you were brought up, the way you lived your life, or the way you want to live your life now. It's particularly hard. It's a bit like doing yoga maybe. 

You have to practice and practice because otherwise your muscles do not respond. 

Robyn: There are people in my life that are older, and I see where they haven't let go of that of that conditional love and of the judgment.

And they tend to become angrier as they get older, less full of happiness and joy and love in their hearts. And so everything becomes, more frustrating for them. And personally, I see that. And so I don't want to be [00:33:00] that. 

Karen: really just thinking that to myself, as you're talking, Robyn, about how so for people listening, watching, I'm in the house with my mom right now.

And there is a loving, Healing presence that's here in their home. My mom and dad are both together and I've been able to witness their journey over the last, decade and beyond. Cindy crossed and have seen the journey that they've been on and have witnessed the ups and downs. It's yes, there are gifts that we're talking about, but they have walked the walk and they've done the work of going through it separately and together, for me, witnessing it and seeing them in their eighties and nineties, my mom in particular, coming back to write another book and wanting to give more information to share more of her journey to help other people at this stage of her life and continuing to be very vocal about that.

She was just on another webcast, last week She's living it now and embodying it. now for others to be able to see. So the book is there, but I just want to say I'm a witness [00:34:00] to her and my dad's journey and they're really living it. And it's just, you're right, Rob this part of their life could be very unhappy if they chose to remain in that moment that Cindy died.

But instead have literally gone back to it, have revisited, have learned what the purpose of it has been for them and have been able to look at it as a completely different thing, look at all the gifts that they have received as a result of that. And you're right, mom the book needed to be written so that.

You can inspire people and this experience that you have been through can be shared with others who are also going through it. 

Loanne: Thank you, Karen. I think it would be nice for people if they did started a little sooner, looking back. It took so long for me. To figure out that I had to look back.

I don't know if it would have changed my trajectory, but I do know that all of these words that came over the altar are words that I've lived with my whole life long. And yet I never used them as how does that work for you right now? I had a wonderful teacher years ago called Louise Hay.

I don't know if everyone knows [00:35:00] her, but one of the things she said, what you focus on grows. And that's so true. True. If you're focusing and 

Robyn: when I was talking about the unconditional love. If you're the opposite, what you focus on grows. . And so then you become less and become more and more conditional and judgmental.

 Loanne I would love for you to describe what your mission is, 

Loanne: I really think it's, we as souls, when we come into the earth, come with a mission. I believe that's something that we are given or we decide together with God or the whoever it is that you believe is up there. I think you've come down here for a purpose. And one is to teach and the other is to learn.

And I spent a lot of years the Course in Miracles, and I feel very strongly that a lot of what they say about the Course in Miracles says that you are either in love or you're in fear. And a lot of us judge people for being negative or difficult because they're actually really fearful.

And I've been there, I know. I was born during World War II. that the atmosphere of fear is very Connective, it's almost claustrophobic. And so it's difficult to shed that if you [00:36:00] are looking for a lighter, if you can't it somewhere in a book or in a group or in a podcast, it's hard to know what to do about that.

So I think what you two are doing is offering people to find ways to let go of whatever they don't want to keep anymore. And to move more towards the light. 

Robyn: And that 

Loanne: for me is, that's why I'm, I so admire what you're doing because it has to be done now. It is really, I think, very important.

that's one of the things that Cindy told me in her transpersonal journaling, which is not, I don't think, in the book, but what she said is that she needed to come back because so much work needed to be done now. And we can see it as we look around the world. So the work that you're doing is sensational from the point of giving people a light to follow because there's so much darkness.

Robyn: So 

Loanne: when you come in, I believe with a mission, I believe that you're given many missions as you grow up. So that perhaps as a little girl, my was to make my mother happy because she was so upset that she was getting divorced. Maybe later my mission was to be a good wife and [00:37:00] mother, or maybe later on my mission was conversation, transpersonal journaling, which if anybody Wanting to know what that's about.

I should guess maybe I should stop and explain what transpersonal journaling is. 

Loanne: It's a description that I gave it because when I had the problem with Cindy and I couldn't get any answers from the police or her husband or what happened to my daughter, I decided to journal.

And in my journaling, I would do what anybody, would do. I was always a journalist. I always liked to write, how things went. But in this particular case, I wrote to my mom, actually, because I felt like she would give me the information. And the first day I did it, I said, I really need to know, where do I go?

Who do I ask? How can I find out what happened to her? And I wrote it. I set the journal down and nothing happened that day. But the next day I went and I decided to do it again. And I'm very prayerful in my meditation, by the way. I really do believe that prayer kind of centers you and you. It takes away the monkey mind a little bit, and meditation is something that I do before I write.

[00:38:00] Anyway, I wrote the second day, I went to write Dear Mom, and instead I wrote, Dear Loanne, and I wrote it, and I remember looking at it and saying, that wasn't my intention. But I continued writing the words that seemed to be on my forehead, and it was Typical of my mother. I've been trying to get through to you all these years and finally found

God bless America, but it was from my point of view, I remembered my mother was a writer. She loved to write. And so Of course the transpersonal journaling would be right for me. So for six months or so wrote to my mother and she told me what happened with Cindy then eventually I did the same thing with Cindy and it was so comforting because I could get information from the source.

I didn't have to ask the doctor or the police Or her husband, if I was given the chance. So I could say, and so what do I do about the boys? how do I help? And every time I got an answer, it was so perfect for that particular day. So I became really enthralled with [00:39:00] transpersonal journaling.

And I was sent to by my editor to a professor in a university nearby who taught psychology. But it turned out that his special. Stick, if you will, was transpersonal psychology, which I didn't 

Karen: know even existed. I had 

Loanne: no 

Karen: idea 

Loanne: how he called what I was doing. I said, what is this? What am I doing?

And he says, Oh, it's transpersonal journaling. What? Everybody should know. 

Karen: It's one of those things I do it with my angels and guides. Now I get that's my, when we do our downloads, it's setting that intention that you're going to get whatever universal wisdom that you need to know.

But I think for people who are listening, who may be in grief, who think that their communication with their loved one is completely gone now, that. It has. And my mom has taught so many people to do this. So her first book, Celestial Conversations, was all about how do you do that? And the conversations and letters that she wrote to her mother and the letters that her mom wrote back to her after she died, and the same time.

Process that she used when Cindy died, you were writing to your mom. And then [00:40:00] Cindy ended up saying, Hey, I'm here and writing back to you. And it all of a sudden opened up , this direct communication with. them and their soul and their experience. And I think as you spoke earlier, Cindy can have continued to do that over the years and asking those clarifying questions.

But she's also said to you that she's come back in this lifetime as this, same soul, but in a different body to continue her journey. And a lot of mind blowing stuff, I think for people who might be listening to us for the first time, what And what it talks about is this opportunity to heal through your grief and a tool that you can use.

And as I've always said to my mom, it's are we making this stuff up? No, I don't think so. But even if we are, like, if it helps us feel connected, if it helps us feel like this relationship is not over, that we are still connected, regardless if we're in our human body form or not, that is part of the healing journey.

But I just encourage people to. Consider it. It's it doesn't cost anything. You can just literally sit with yourself try it and see what. Yeah, 

Robyn: and for those who haven't listened to [00:41:00] our other podcast with you, Loanne, we really go in depth in talking about it. So we'll have the link to that podcast in our show notes, and we'll also be telling everybody again To buy Celestial Conversations because it's such a good book and you really go into transpersonal journaling in that book as well.

Yes. 

Loanne: one other thing I would add to that is that when I was asking Cindy how this worked, I did finally spend a lot of time. She said it's going to a website, mom. 

Robyn: She said, 

Loanne: You go to the website for Seeking Center and she said, when you write transpersonal journaling, you just go to the website of the soul that is on the other side that is always ready.

It's not like a delay or anything like that. They're always ready. So it's really up to you. But I thought the analysis of going to a website was helpful to me. 

Robyn: And it's like a radio frequency. it's like you're able, because you in your mind you are calling out to that frequency and that frequency is answering, cause we are energetic, right?

that's right. 

Loanne: So I was just going to continue the many missions that I was saying to you that I was going through were [00:42:00] missions like for me, when had the experience of Cindy's death, there was the mission of trying to find a way to make something good out of something terrible. And for me , found that became my mission then.

Robyn: And 

Loanne: then as I began doing workshops, on the book of Celestial Conversations. It became my mission to teach adults as it turns out. I never had any desire to teach children. I had enough children of my own. Thank you very much. But teaching adults something like this was really great. I loved it and I felt really comfortable doing that.

And then I moved into writing the book and writing this book. And what I've found is it's all under the same heading. It's all under the same heading of helping others. So \ the original mission that I came in with to help others in my belief, it's just in these mini missions along the way.

And I think a lot of people, and one of the things I talk about in the Treasures in Grief is that I am sure that there are many people out there who have come in with thoughts and maybe didn't do it, didn't follow up on it because life got in the way. But it might be [00:43:00] interesting for them to go back and to think about what it was like when they were little.

What did they want to do? What about when they were teenagers? What about in their 20s or their 30s? What was it they were thinking of and is there a connection? Between what they wanted to do and what they knew about when they were little. 

Karen: Yeah. 

Robyn: Yeah. And I feel like when people are thinking of mission, think about it as this theme, like an overarching theme in your life.

It's not telling you're going to have this title and make this much money because we're so conditioned to think that's what we're talking. Yeah. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about what is the overall theme of your life? And then I love what you said, what are the mini missions to achieve and stay on, on point with that overall theme.

So that's such a good way of looking at it. 

Loanne: It could be even as, different. I had a person, a friend that I knew who was the CEO of a company. And when he retired, he went back to school to become a minister. Okay. which is what he always wanted to do. Wow. So it's never too late. 

Karen: And I love that as a theme here [00:44:00] too, because again, I think all of us, we start like, We have these various phases in our lives.

And at some point you think, okay, have I missed the boat? Have I not done the thing that I needed to do? Have I not found my mission? And I just love the example that you've set for us is that the mission evolves and that there's always an opportunity to learn more, but also to give back to others.

And you've certainly done that to not only our family, but also to so many who've been grieving and are looking for. The purpose and reason and how to action that in their lives and make sense of it and really to actually, make that as an embodiment to move them forward, instead of stopping them and limiting their lives there's so much to learn and you've been such a great example of that mom.

Loanne: Thank you. I appreciate that so much. there's so much for us to enjoy while we're here. But there's the other side of it. If you don't do it, you'll come back and you'll do it. That is the truth. 

Robyn: If 

Loanne: not now, then later. 

Robyn: That's right. You'll be back. And then you'll do a past life progression and see this life

That's [00:45:00] right. . 

Karen: I think we've covered, so much of it and there's so much in the book in terms of examples and ideas of things that people can utilize in their life. 

Robyn: Thank you for capturing all. Of your lessons and the wisdom that you've received in your experiences, because they really are helping. I know they helped me every day and you've instilled what you've instilled in Karen, which is also part of giving back to this world and helping this world, your mission is so deeply felt.

And I love that you continue to share. You are such an inspiration. I cannot stress that to you enough. You inspire me. I really hope that I have that same motivation that you have every day as I grow older and continue to share. So thank you for being and thank you for sharing. 

Karen: Oh, 

Robyn: God bless you both, honey.

Thank you. I love you. 

Karen: What a great conversation. Okay, I'm just going to add at the end. Yes. . To order Loanne's book, Treasures in Grief, Discover the Seven Spiritual Gifts Hidden in Your Pain, [00:46:00] or her prior book, Celestial Conversations, Healing Relationships After Death on Amazon.

And you can also listen to our prior podcast with Loanne Mayer, my mom, and it's called talk to the other side and heal relationships after death, wherever you listen to your podcast. 

Robyn: Yeah. And we'll have all of that in our show notes as well. Thank you. 

Loanne: Thank you so much. there is a saying that what you give out comes back tenfold and you girls will have it coming back tenfold.

I promise. God bless 

Robyn: you. Thank you.