This week’s podcast is not only captivating, it’s also practical. We caught up with the whip-smart and tremendously gifted Psychic Medium + Spiritual Teacher, Nelly Reznik. While we've talked to many intuitives and mediums, we've never really discussed intuition in this much depth before. If you haven’t paid attention to your intuition or don’t quite know what it is, you won’t want to miss this discussion.
What is intuition? How do you develop it? Our conversation with Nelly offered enlightening insights on how using your intuition can even be a “gateway” to opening up your medium and psychic abilities. And if you’re not ready for that yet, we discuss how to know you’re ready for a reading with a medium or psychic. And, we give you all of the details on what to expect from a reading and how to prep!
In this episode:
-Intuition: What is it? How do you develop it?
-Psychic vs. Medium reading
-How to know you're ready for a psychic or medium reading
-Prepping for a reading
-What to expect from a reading
You can find out more about working with Nelly, her workshops or special events at www.nellyreznik.com. You can also follow Nelly on Instagram @nellyreznik.
Robyn: [00:00:00] I'm Robyn Miller Brecker,
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Robyn: Today's conversation will not only be captivating, it will also be practical. We'll be introducing you to the whip, smart, and tremendously gifted psychic medium, and spiritual teacher Nelly Resnick. While we've talked to many intuitives and mediums, we've never really [00:01:00] discussed intuition in depth until today.
We are all born with this ability. If you don't pay attention to your intuition now, we hope that change is after today. Plus Nelly is sharing her journey into mediumship and what actually happens in a mediumship or psychic reading plus. And this is important, why you should or shouldn't get a reading.
And if you do, how to properly prepare. Nelly tells it like it is in the kindest and most hilarious of ways. Oh, and there will be some. We couldn't make this up. Even if we tried stories along the way, this is going to be good. Hi Nelly. Hi,
Karen: Nellie . Welcome.
Nelly: Welcome. Thank you. So let's
Robyn: jump in with intuition.
How do you define intuition?
Nelly: I feel like intuition is. the ability to know or understand things without logical reasoning behind it. I've been talking to people about it recently and one thing that's been coming up is I'm like, Oh, I intuitively felt that. And people are sometimes like isn't that logic? Or Couldn't you have known that?
Cause I er in the side of [00:02:00] intuition usually because it's what I do for a living.
There's what in the physical sense as we all are used to and then there's what we feel intuitively and a lot of the time it does match up, but then sometimes it doesn't. And I am really interested in that divergence and how you're, sometimes you're like, I knew that person was gonna cancel or I knew that this is gonna happen, but there's no emotional attachment to it.
Or you're like, Why did I know that? How did I know that? So I think it's a useful tool and it's also just, it's something that is natural for most people, but I think we have a lot of conditioning that tells us. That we can't use our intuition or that when we have intuitive moments that there's something else that they're like, it's just logic.
Robyn: based on Right. they'll explain it away almost like it has to have an explanation behind it. Yeah. Yeah. And Nellie,
Karen: wouldn't you say though to people intuition is almost the gateway into being a medium, because it's really where you need to start, isn't it? And the more that you honor that perception or that [00:03:00] instinctive feeling that you have, that is the way you can grow and develop that even more.
Nelly: I would say yes, . And I feel like a lot of the time I hear intuition spoken about as though it's like a hierarchy, like intuition, and then you go to psychic and then you go to mediumship and I don't think one of those is better than any of the others, in a way, yes, mediumship is more advanced, but only in terms of how you use skill and responsibility around it, but I use intuition all the time in mediumship readings. Like mediumship is the ability to talk to the dead. Basically. Psychic is being able to tune into the physical environment, people, things like that. Things are on this plane and get specific information or past, present, future, intuition is.
A lot of other things, but I can get something medium itally, like I can be like, Oh your husband cheated on you, and my intuition will tell me. Maybe don't say that though, . You know what I mean?
Karen: Exactly. But it is that, it's that ability to. Listen inwardly or outwardly. And honor that and [00:04:00] follow the thread is where to start if you're trying to develop
Nelly: that within yourself.
Yes. And it's also I find that intuition will tell you things you need to know. Like a mother's intuition. Something. Yeah. Or don't go into that train car or Yes. Walk down this side of the street, not this side. And so it's, I think it's very necessary. That's why I think I'm saying that the other thing, mediumship and psychic ability isn't necessarily better cuz you can get Oh, there's a person in that house wearing a green sweater right now.
And maybe that's a psychic feeling, but you don't really need to know all that, yeah. your intuition will tell you like, Yeah, don't go here. Go here. And that's often more what you really need to pick up on, yeah. It's
Robyn: really, I think. This personal skill and awareness, that that everybody in my opinion, should really develop and practice. We all have it, as we were saying. And yet it's so interesting because nobody, when you're younger, talks about it. I'm trying to think of the first time I ever heard [00:05:00] of intuition. I was older. I mean I may, it may have come up in my, teens, but not in the way that I understand it or started to understand it in my twenties, let's say.
Nelly: Yeah. I think I had a teacher that say,
Karen: What does your gut tell you? That was probably as close as I ever got to Intuition,
Nelly: but it was never called that. That's so funny cuz you hear that all the time. But it's like those same people who tell you, listen to your gut will be like, no, psychic ability isn't real.
Do you know what I mean? people don't know how to name it, and they call it by other things, or they'll explain it, but it's Yeah, exactly. And same for me, now that you mention it, I don't remember when I first heard about intuition.
And looking back, to childhood I remember children play games sometimes that are actually very intuitive games it brought up a random memory for me of being in a science class at some point. And there were like overturned cards or something, and I was like, Oh, I think this one's this one and this one's gonna be this one.
And then you turn it over and you're right. And you're like, That's an intuition game that's developing your intuition, but you're like, Oh, it's just a game. Intuition is [00:06:00] often playful.
Robyn: I think to your point and even when thinking about intuition and knowing we were gonna have this conversation, we were thinking about what can we give people as one thing they can do to start to tap into more of their intuition?
And I think what you were just even saying prior do you go, you get a hit almost in your mind to go one way or the other. Like literally take a left or a right or don't go into that room, or,, there's something that strikes you and you don't know where it comes from.
And sometimes the logical part of us just ignores it. But what are some exercises people could do, or one thing that someone can do to start to develop that? Trust,
Nelly: There's a lot of different things that I would say. I think one of them is to start paying attention.
When you think you have an intuitive moment, your intuition will often come in a way that's how do I put it? It'll use your own knowledge of what different feelings of yours feel like, but it won't be the same as, it'll [00:07:00] use the feeling of maybe disappointment to be like, Oh, this person isn't gonna show up, but it's gonna come in.
You're gonna experience it differently than you experience actual disappointment. , so Start to really pay attention and log. And I'll give you an example. this is one I use in my classes sometimes. It's like a really silly one. But I was booking a client years ago.
This was back when I was, I would email people with a nightmare, but this person, we were emailing back and forth and it was all over the span of five, 10 minutes. This place great, whatever. The last email I was sending was like, okay, so confirming this time and here's how you can pay me and whatever.
As I'm sending it, I just have this random thought out of nowhere that just comes in that's she's not gonna book you. She's not gonna pay. She's not gonna show up. And I was like, Huh, interesting. So I sent the email and I'm like, Let me wait and just see. . The interesting thing about that thought was that it came out of nowhere.
I wasn't consciously thinking, is she gonna actually book me or not? I wasn't worried about it. I didn't really care. It wasn't something I had emotional attachment to. And it wasn't something I was [00:08:00] anxious about, Do you know what I mean? And thought just came out of nowhere and I couldn't get it back and I didn't know why.
With intuition, you often won't know why something you're getting in some information. . Anyway, I ended up being right cuz I'm psychic . And the day before we were supposed to meet, I emailed her and I was like, so just like confirming and she's Oh, I'm so sorry. I just got back from a trip or whatever and I won't be able to.
I'll book you a different time or something. And I wasn't even mad. I was just like, Yes.
Robyn: Validation. Yeah. But in a way
Karen: it's almost like when you say to yourself after I had a feeling. Yeah.
Robyn: I had a
Karen: feeling that she would say that. And maybe almost catching yourself to remind yourself of those moments when the feeling did
Nelly: validate itself.
Yeah, exactly. And it's also like you say, feeling, but I actually find that most of the time it's a knowing, it's a feeling in a way, but it's not how we usually think about feelings. It's not attached to anything. It's not it's like it just comes in a flash and then it goes away and you can't get it back. [00:09:00] And it's often unemotional most of the time. Not always. It's a really, That's a great definition. before I forget, cause I think this is important too, if you wanna develop your intuition, you do wanna start with things that are simple.
Play games with yourself. Ask questions like, which train is gonna come next? Which elevator is gonna come first? What color is this person gonna be wearing today? You don't wanna start with should I go to grad school or should I have a child? ,
Robyn: good advice.
I know this sounds weird, but it's also different than, let's say, manifesting, right? Yeah. People should know that too. it may seem obvious, but sometimes as you start to play those games, there's a difference between we're, developing your intuition is different than developing manifesting
. Yes. And I also, this is another thing that may sound obvious that I think people often need to hear it. Intuition won't completely change your life in this way, where suddenly everything's gonna go perfectly. It's . still have to like, make mistakes and live your life and learn lessons or whatever it is you're trying to do with yourself, I dunno.
But yeah, it'll help you out. But [00:10:00] also, Stuff will still happen.
Robyn: Yeah. It's really, it to me It's more of a helpful guide Yeah. Or tool. It's like another resource And it's, if you
Karen: play the game of it to develop it and it's not attached to an outcome, it will come more easily.
Robyn: When I'm driving during the day, I often use it to say, which way should I go? . And that's like an easy, simple, I'm not attached to it. But I just wanna see it and I'll say, Go, go straight, all getting me back to the same place or wherever I need to go.
If I'm, let's say I'm coming home. , but I often feel there's a reason I'm taking that route. most of the time I should say you, have no idea why, but maybe I avoided something else or I end up running into a friend who's walking,
Nelly: whatever it is. Exactly.
Karen: I was just gonna say, if you're in a room of people, I like to do it that way as well. People that you don't know, or , a brand new group and sitting down by that person who you feel intuitively drawn to. Yes.
Nelly: Good way to do it. Yeah,
Robyn: This is awesome. So , hopefully now [00:11:00] people have. A better understanding of that word because I know it, often comes up in our conversations, but we really haven't unpacked it. To that level. So let's now talk about your journey into mediumship.
And I love to thank you for also somewhat defining what psychic and Medium are in relation to intuition.
Nelly: . So tell us about
Robyn: What was the catalyst for you? How did this journey
Nelly: begin? I think I've always probably had heightened psychic comp, I don't know, skills, whatever you want, abilities.
But it wasn't something I was aware of for most of my life. And then in my twenties, somebody close to me passed away and it was really Through the grief process that basically yeah, I couldn't ignore the psychic ability anymore. And it started to open up more. I think when you're at a really low point in your life, you lose the ability to pretend and to hold things back.
And in the [00:12:00] beginning I was a little bit concerned cuz I was reading a lot about grief cuz I just wanted to know what was going on with me. And the effects of grief can be very similar to like psychosis. And so I was like, okay, I don't want to jump to any conclusions here.
Dead people are talking to me and I need to figure this out. Then things just started happening. I was like, I think I wanna take a class or something or figure this out. And then I just happened to see one, it went to a medium for the first time who was a real medium, but not a scammer, which I had run into previously.
And I don't know, this whole world opened up to me. And and I should say that previously, cuz I, I'm saying this because maybe some people will recognize themselves in this or be able to relate to this. Obviously depression and anxiety are real things. For me, I had also realized in studying mediumship and starting to Understand how my system was working, that previously I'd been a very anxious person. I would suffer from depression and things like that. And I didn't realize how much of that was just my system being [00:13:00] overloaded with intuition and that I wasn't listening to and to just feeling people's energy around me that I couldn't recognize.
I think empath has become a dirty word a little bit, but it's a real thing where you're just like picking up on other people's energy that isn't yours and you don't know how to process it. So I'll just say that, so then I just started taking classes, trying to figure it out, and that's when I really learned that it's a skill that you develop.
And in the beginning, I had some very amazing readings that I did because I just needed proof. For myself that this was real, that I was able to do it. I was getting details that I don't even think I get anymore. Just because I was really wanting them. This is exactly what your person looked like and this is what your house looks like and all of that.
And then at the same time I was doing readings where I was just learning how to piece the information together. Because starting to learn mediumship it's a little bit like learning a new language for the first time where things will come in symbolically or you'll start to see in your mind's eye or feel something, but you don't know how to name it.
And then the more you [00:14:00] practice, the more builds and you're able to be more fluent in it, Yeah, that's a long story about , how I got here. Was there a moment
Karen: That took you though, from your grief to that medium reading and then to you actually believing that you could practice it on your own?
Nelly: was that transition? I'm not sure if it was one moment. I feel like when you mentioned that, I do feel like I have moments, but , it was more like a, a tumbling into it. Like a very messy slide. I think the very first reading I ever did, I remember it cuz I had signed up for this class
it was online before everything was online. And I was taking the bus home and I had this reading scheduled with this woman in Australia who was also taking the class and we were gonna practice on each other. And I remember being on the bus and just talking in my head to spirit and just being Okay, I believe that this is real.
I've seen evidence from other people, but I don't know if I'm capable of doing it and I don't know if I'm meant to be doing it. So if I'm meant to be doing it, can you, in the reading just show [00:15:00] me a bunch of things that I couldn't have known otherwise to give me a sense of.
Yes, I'm capable of this and I should be doing it. And if I'm not, just don't show me anything and then I'll know. I was very nervous. I told the woman that I'd never done it before. I didn't know what I was doing. And tuned in and just saw, Yeah, saw her whole house, saw everything. I was like, You have one maze in your house and it shapes like a triangle like this.
And she was like, Yes. And then I was like, There's someone who pees outside of your door every day and loves it, thinks it's hilarious. And she was like, Yes, it's a dog who's ruining my plants all the time. I was like, You have a tree in your backyard that reminds you of home. And she was like, Yes, I'm from New Zealand, but I live in Australia and we don't have this tree anywhere in Australia, but there's just This one tree that we have, and it's from New Zealand and I make stuff with it.
And then but the coolest thing was, so I didn't, I couldn't tell yet what was a Mediumistic connection? What was a psychic connection. So I was like, I think there's a man and a lady. I don't know what's happening, but I was like, I'm seeing a rug that's and I described it and the colors, and I'm seeing a rocking chair.
And she was like, my [00:16:00] mother-in-law just died two weeks ago. And I took she's I took one thing from our house and thought about taking another thing and they were a rocking chair and a blanket that she used as a rug that was exactly as I've described it. So I was like, Okay, all right cool.
And then I did a bunch of shitty readings cuz that's just how it works. And I was still grieving. Grief never really goes away, but over, I think it took me a year before I ever charged for my first reading. Cause I was practicing a lot and just trying to figure it out and also learn how to hold space for people too, in the reading.
Cause you have to do that too if you do it professionally. But yeah, and I think that story's kind of important because I feel like a lot of people think that mediumship or being a medium, it's something you either have or you don't. Or that it's like you figure it out and then you're on your way or whatever.
But actually it's a process. It's a skill. There's a lot that goes into it and it builds, So I, kept a spreadsheet of how many readings they did. , I was very nerdy about it. I went to a weekly development circle every week, just trying to like practice [00:17:00] techniques and then I started doing it professionally.
Robyn: And in that reading that you talked about with the medium that was legit prior to you really going in and, and doing this on your own, would you say that there was something in there that really unlocked for you in terms of, and also potentially helped with
Nelly: the grief?
Yes. With the grief and with the mediumship both. It was really beautiful, because I feel like what struck me about it was that the person who came through who had been wanting to talk to he it was his personality came through, it wasn't just a bunch of facts.
About him. And I wanna say that because I think even mediums don't always know when they're doing this. It can be easy to pretend to be doing a mediumship reading when really it's psychic. Let's say your grandma died, I can read off of your auric field information about your grandmother.
And if you don't know the difference, you could be like, Oh wow, that was so accurate. And it's Yeah, I could get a bunch of facts correctly. This is how she died, this is what she looked like. This is whatever. But really, it's your grandma when she's coming through being [00:18:00] like, I didn't like this thing about your house, and why haven't you changed it?
where you're like, Oh, that's, like I had forgotten with this person I had forgotten how annoying he was and in the reading and he came through like making fun of me the way that he slouched. She really got, just reactions that he would have where I was like, Yeah, that's him.
Yes. Yes. Where it's I think also people sometimes think that you die and then you suddenly know everything and you become wise and it's like, why would that be true? It's no wait, it's not,
they still do work on the other side, they still have to heal and it's a process for them as well, it seems so yeah I think that reading really unlocked something big for me. Because it was like, Oh, that, right? That's him. Yes. I love that. Yeah.
Robyn: I never really thought of it in that way in terms of a psychic reading versus a mediumship reading, and that in a psychic reading you can pick up someone's aura .
Nelly: I'm obsessed with this, so
Karen: I'm interested,
Robyn: [00:19:00] so please. I, and I've never thought of
Karen: it that way, but I have had people say to me that's what they think is really happening.
That whoever the reader is, they're just picking up from
Robyn: that person. And I'm thinking of it for myself, developing my own. Medium psychic skills because I am always practicing I never really made the distinction. Yeah, made the distinction. I never made the distinction and I can see where a lot of times it really was more psychic And now I can also pinpoint when it was actually a mediumship too. So anyway, Thank you.
Nelly: Oh yeah, I'm really interested in how things develop and the development of mediumship and what it has to do with culture and how that all ties in.
Because a lot of what we think of as mediumship now, or what we see and on TV and everything, it's really developed from spiritualism, which is a religion that kind of started in the 18 hundreds in upstate New York. But it's obviously that's not the only form of mediumship or the first form of mediumship.
But the spiritualist movement it was during a time when from what I [00:20:00] understand, people were question questioning religion and people were more interested in science. And so people wanted to see if they could prove that mediumship was real.
And I think that developed in a very interesting way because we live in such a society where we're so disconnected from our intuition, from our mediumship, it's almost like this other part of life that you sometimes access and then you go right back in. So whatever else that you were doing, and I actually think that trying so hard to be evidential cause that's how what I learned It's called evidential mediumship. I think, your listeners have heard of it, but I think a lot of people haven't. But it's what on tv. It's your grandma died of a heart attack. She looked like this, and when you're so focused on evidence, I think you really lose the essence of mediumship and the humanity of it.
because I've connected with a lot of different souls and they don't come through in the same way. And they're not all easy to talk to. And sometimes you'll feel they're reluctant to talk about something actually. Or I've connected with souls of Cross that have committed murder or who've done some stuff, And that's a very [00:21:00] different feeling and connection than.
I think this is so important. I'm so glad you're talking
Robyn: about this . Yeah. I think it's really important for people to remember that it's all kinds of souls that you're coming through and what you're, And that it's the feeling Of that energy that you're getting. It is so different.
Nelly: It is and it's, And mediumship I think is really a claris sentient activity in a lot of ways, meaning clear feeling. So do you feel the actual soul coming through and starting to talk to you? And I felt the difference in mediums reading for me when they haven't necessarily realized that they're doing psychic versus mediumship.
And I think it can be very damaging actually, because you can be going in as a person receiving a reading and it might seem fine. I'm thinking of a reading I did for this woman, not to brag. Of course I'm gonna make it like, and I did it well and the other medium did it terribly. But she was telling me, so her father came through and he was a very interesting character.
They won't go into details, but he. Not your typical Oh, I love you so much, and died of a heart attack, [00:22:00] whatever. No, it was like this whole other thing. And it was difficult to get him to start talking, but that's how he was in life too. Very secretive. And he did have a lot of secrets.
It was like pulling teeth a little bit, but I told her that's what was happening and she was like, Oh, I get it, And she told me about this other reading she'd had where he's he didn't even talk to me. He was just kept talking about my mom and all this stuff. And I didn't say this to her, but I was like, That medium was not picking up on your father.
I'm sorry. You can be like, Oh, your father's in spirit. He's talking about your mother. And like all of this, just like psychic information starts to come through or even about him, like maybe he looks like this And then as the reader, you're left a little bit cold Yeah, that sounds like him, but why is he talking about that?
Or even acknowledging this thing that happened
Robyn: Definitely happened to both Karen and I with others. Yeah.
Nelly: And I wanna be it's a really difficult job and I think I don't wanna be mean about mediums either, , because I think most people are doing their best.
I think it's just this pressure to perform . And also as a medium, you're only able to receive information that you're ready to receive as well. So if it's not within your belief [00:23:00] system that souls who cross can be, I don't know, still going through something or reluctant to talk or, anything difficult, then you won't necessarily pick up on it.
So I think it's the job of the medium to be really open to possibilities and not just go off of belief, but really be really curious and open, which is not an easy thing to do. So I just wanna be. Kind to people trying to do this work as well. Cause I've probably done it too. I've made mistakes too,
Robyn: I love that clarification for people and understanding how this has developed. I love that you were talking about spiritualism and so forth and where we are now. And it goes to
Karen: the next question we wanted to ask too about can everybody actually really do this?
Cause I think you were saying earlier that we all have intuition and it can be developed, but to your point it is a skill that has to really be worked diligently and carefully and honestly over time. What is your answer to that? Can everyone
Nelly: do this? yes and no. , I feel like when people ask me, is everyone a medium?
It's asking if everyone's an artist. It's [00:24:00] depends on how you're looking at it. . It's kinda the other example I give is it's a little bit like, anyone can learn to play football, but not everyone can play for the nfl. That requires 10 different things to be true, but yes, I think everybody has the capacity for mediumship. We are souls and bodies and I think it's through connecting with your own soul. Which sounds a little abstract, I understand that as I'm saying it, but really learning to tune into even a chakra or something, just get yourself started that you, were able to connect with other souls, whether living or past, and we do it to your point, Karen, from before when you meet someone and you're intuitively drawn to them, it's like, what is that?
That's not mediumship. I wouldn't classify that as mediumship, but it's a soul to soul connection. Something's going on that's not logical or nameable sometimes. Does that make sense?
Robyn: it does make sense. And I think it also goes to everything we're talking about, it starts with intuition to a degree. And again, it's not [00:25:00] hierarchy, but it's developing that and starting to understand messages, what's coming in, and then being intentional with your own thoughts about what you are asking to receive and connection with other energy, whether that's psychic or mediumship.
, it's being intentional about those connections.
Nelly: And also, to the point of mediumship as well. a lot of people lose someone that you've loved. And it's obviously a really difficult thing to go through. And I wanna say this because people grieve if they wanna hear from their loved ones or how do I know if they're around?
And I feel like I run into a lot of different things with this where sometimes I think people are like, Oh, I can't feel my loved one around me, but maybe they come through in a dream to someone else or something, And what can happen there is they might not be around you, sorry, but they might be actually, and you might just be very used to their energy and so it becomes almost part of your own or you're not feeling it.
The other thing is we've said this before, but if you're really attached to an outcome or you're really desperately [00:26:00] wanting to feel them or hear from them or have them come through in a dream, that actually creates almost a block because you're so focused on that. It's like when you're writing an essay and you're like, I've been staring at this one sentence for two hours, Let me just go eat something.
Yeah. And come back to it, or people ask about signs a lot and they're like what's the sign from this person? And I think often people think about mediumship as that you're just receiving things, but it's actually like a back and forth conversation where maybe a spirit will show you a bird or something I don't know, canary.
It's the first time I've used canary in a sentence. I think maybe ever . and you're like, Oh, is that a sign from this person? And they go, Yes, she paid attention, And then they'll send you more canaries. But if you see a canary and you're like, Cool, there's a canary, then that, then your spirits gonna be like, Oh, crap.
Gotta send her like a leaf or something next, hopefully.
Robyn: Actually, and I think it all leads to, talking about what's a mediumship reading like with you, because I think everybody [00:27:00] conducts readings
Nelly: differently. Yeah, for sure. I feel like I approached it in a holistic way, I think in the beginning I used to really think of a psychic connection and a mediumistic connection is two extremely different things, and they are, I we've talked about it, But I feel like really in a reading, you need that kind of flow of information from different sources. So first of all, I usually tune in to people's energy first and their higher self first to be like, Why are you here? Psychically I pick up on that information.
I Because if someone's house just burned down and they need help with that, their grandma's not necessarily gonna help them. She might, I think that's
Robyn: actually very important. For people to understand. I think a lot of people come to a reading and we're gonna talk about who should and shouldn't really get a reading at a certain time.
But people don't necessarily think about the fact that there's actually a whole team that they may not even know that's
Nelly: surrounding them. Yeah, There's a whole team and also that a lot of the best psychic information actually comes from their [00:28:00] auric field. And I think that this is important because people are obsessed with outsourcing power and wanting to hear from, oh, does this, what is my spirit guide have to say?
And what is, And it's you're a spirit too. So it's like sometimes the best information comes from me just tuning in, just all basics, psychic, connection, so yeah, we do different things. , I feel when it's about the person, a lot of the time it's just tuning in with them and seeing what's happened in their past or in their ancestry that's brought them to this point.
So perspective and understanding. I tend to focus on that more than on predictive stuff because I think predictive stuff a lot of the time is just potentialities. And I just try to do it in a way where give over to what needs to happen. And often that's just helping people get into their own power a little bit more and figure it out, and then maybe other people that you've known who have passed will come through. And I also, a lot of mediums. And this is the way that I was taught where They'll just do, Whoever comes through and that's who's meant to, and that's [00:29:00] it. And I've stopped doing it that way because I find that sometimes I just don't pick up on someone naturally for whatever reason.
But that doesn't mean that they're not there or don't wanna talk or that maybe the person really wants to talk to them. So I try to give room at the end too, where if something didn't happen that you wanna know about or you're hoping to hear from someone, there's no guarantees, but yeah, let's call ' em, Yeah.
Robyn: Yeah. I think to your point, the mixture of the psychic and the mediumship, in my own experience, makes it even more special. Receiving, if you did just lose someone, Important in your life and not just, like within a year or something, and maybe it's a year later
you do first want to just make sure that they're okay. And you want that validation that it's them. But then what I have found is that then being able to receive certain guidance or messages for your own life from them or whatever other spirit is coming in is what makes it is even more magical
Nelly: of an experience.
I think so too. I also think it depends on the [00:30:00] connection. It depends on, as you were saying, how recent it was someone who even if you were close to your grandmother, maybe she passed away five years ago, that's gonna be a very different connection than if your husband died six months ago.
Exactly. That's such a great point. And so
Karen: to, I guess leading into the who should and who shouldn't have a reading than if someone is listening and wants a reading right now is it important they do a little bit of a self assessment before they walk in about where their energy actually is and where their expectations
Nelly: are for that?
Please do for
Robyn: The best Nelly, I've said this to her before, she has your prep and prefacing before you even book a reading is, I've never found anything more. Written number one. Thank you. And and honest and really on target. So please tell
Nelly: everyone listening.
Yeah, I think I have to say too often it's a feeling. So before I even say what I'm gonna say I think a lot of people will look at it as Oh God, maybe I'm not, I thought I was, but then I read this thing and maybe I'm not, you don't have to [00:31:00] overthink it either.
What's the worst that'll happen? There's just even if it's awkward and you're like, I didn't get what I needed, it's fine. But with that said I think if the following are true , maybe list some things that I'm thinking as I think of them. But so first of all, with medium. This one's a little bit tricky because everyone has different needs.
I would say for the most part, if you've just lost somebody, and it's so recent not that grief is linear, but if you're in total shock, if you're still in the phase of kind of bargaining and not having accepted yet I won't say don't get a reading, but just be honest with yourself of whether or not you're really ready because there's just no bypassing the grieving process.
There's always exceptions. But You don't want. Do the thing where you go get a reading, and then you almost get into a loop of getting addicted to getting readings. That can be very damaging. We do mediumship and psychic work within the society that we're in and that can't be removed Can you tell?
I studied sociology [00:32:00] but it can't be removed, so I'm so annoying. They can't be removed from each other, and it's like we're obsessed with instant gratification, which I don't wanna call it that too much because obviously it's a really serious and difficult thing, but you just be honest with yourself of am I just trying to not feel these horrible feelings?
Nelly: when you're still waking up, being like, Oh God, is this person still? I need to call them. And then you're like, oh, g, like within the first month or something, like you just a grief counselor or someone like that might be more appropriate to go to.
But that's something to just self-assess, the other thing is this is especially for people who are looking for a psychic connection. What are you doing with your life? Are you just sitting around. And then you wanna go to a psychic because you want them to tell you that you're gonna be I don't know, the next Kim Kardashian or something.
It's have you even designed a new Spanx lines? No, part of why I wrote the thing I wrote is because sometimes I would have people be like, But I already know what you're talking about. And I'm like, Okay, as fault is that.
Do you know what I'm saying? What are you doing with yourself? So I think that's part of [00:33:00] it. Two is have you taken action in your life? Do you know at least a little bit of why are you here? You wouldn't go to a doctor for a checkup and then leave mad because he didn't find anything.
You know what I'm saying? It's Don't come to me , then get all mad because I'm like, You're fine.
Robyn: it's having real intention and really utilizing it to only move things along. it's not the answer.
Karen: Or to say, what is my block? What is standing help me
Robyn: understand. I've done the
Karen: work and
Robyn: I don't know why That's right. But That's
Nelly: right. That's a valid way of approaching it. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah. Exactly. Having an intention and basically not wanting the psychic or medium to solve your entire life for you. that's not how it works.
And yeah, so those are some of the things I feel like. I would say those are probably the two main things. I would say the other one is if you're going just because you're curious that's fine sometimes, but you're gonna get what you put into it. So if you're going because you want proof that psychic ability is real or that [00:34:00] mediumship is real, you're probably gonna be disappointed.
Because it's kind of what I was saying before. I can get a bunch of information about whoever, you can't prove this stuff. That's the thing. We do have common experiences and I can pick up on a bunch of details, but if you're not here to figure out what's going on or be active in the reading as well, it doesn't mean telling me a bunch of information, but just being open energetically and being willing to actually show up, then yeah, that's gonna affect the reading.
Then you're gonna leave with proof that it's not real. Okay. You just wasted money. Like what? In time? Both of our time. Yeah.
Robyn: Yeah. Totally. I think that's so true. And that actually, talking about that leads to how should somebody prepare for a reading? Let's say they're like I do feel I need this help.
Whether it's with grief or needing that connection with someone who passed away or needing some guidance from their own soul or other spirits that are, helping them. How should they prepare?
Nelly: Yeah, so that's a good question. I feel like it's gonna depend on the person to some [00:35:00] extent, it's gonna be up to you. But I find it helpful. When people know why they're there, at least a little bit. So maybe just write it down and you don't have to share it with the psychic or medium. Just have something, Because also I think writing something down just unlocks your brain in a way where you're like, Oh, this is why I'm here.
Maybe just a couple of intentions or questions. And by intentions, don't do the whole cheesy thing of I'm open to whatever I need to hear. That's not an intention. That's just like us just, Yeah, that's how you need to show up. But come on. It can be as simple as feel a little stuck at work or, I would love to hear from this person invite them in if you wanna hear from your dad, invite him in.
One of the best readings I did, I remember afterwards the girl was, . And I told him before the reading, I was like, You better show up for Nellie. you better, and he did. So it is a collaborative process in that way. And she didn't even say anything to me.
Robyn: Exactly. You don't. I hope people understand I'm bringing it up because it's not for you to share with you or whatever medium or psychic they're talking to, it's for you. [00:36:00] And what I often find is not only setting an intention, but then writing a few questions as you said, they get answered without me ever asking them.
Nelly: Yeah. And I think that's the thing that people need to understand is that the energy they bring into the reading is going to affect the reading because it's my energy off of your. So when I'm giving, I can't give a hundred percent. I need to give 95% and I need 5% from you. Cause also if you have things written down about what you're hoping to get from the reading and then the medium is going on about something else.
Cause I wanna say I pick up on what you need, but also I pick up on what I pick up on. I pick up on stuff also based on what my interests are, . And my interests are like, how the hell did you get here? And , what's just psychologically what's going on? That's where I tend to just go naturally.
And if you're like, I just wanna know what's going on at my workplace, say it's your reading, Yeah, it think it's a balance of power that needs to happen basically. So I think everyone needs to prepare in a way that feels right for them,
and also I know I just made fun of showing up where you're like, I'm just open. But you do wanna show up open [00:37:00] because you might think that your issue is one thing and it might actually be something else. Totally. You might be like, My job is driving me crazy. And my boss keeps pushing my boundaries and I might start picking up on when you were growing up at home, it was chaos, And on first glance, it doesn't have to do with the issue that you brought in, but actually,
that's the whole issue, . So you wanna be op open and at the same time bring in intentions, if that makes sense. Yes.
Robyn: And the openness should be without question. If you've decided to book a session, you should be open.
And then it's setting the more specific intention for yourself.
Karen: The person who is coming, if they're going to someone who's a good. Medium or psychic should be able to expect that they will get some specific information back. I know I've been to readings where it's been like, like you were saying before, it's oh, it's all over the mulberry bush, but there's nothing really specific
Nelly: that comes.
Karen: I think just to know when you go to see someone, that is a fair expectation to have that if you come open [00:38:00] that you will get some specific information as a result of a reading.
Nelly: I think so. But I also, I feel like for me, how do I put it? It's like when I first was starting this work, that was the most important thing to me.
Specificity. Because of all the things I said before and I was like, Is this real? And I don't want people to think I'm crazy and all of this. And I feel like over time, after having done many readings, I care about the, a little bit less, but not because it's not important, but because it's through the connection or through the openness as you're saying.
Maybe this is what you're saying, I don't know, But it's like the specificity comes through. And sometimes even for me as the medium, I feel like I'm saying something very general, but it'll be very specific to the person receiving it. And so I'm having to not judge the information, but I find that as a medium for me I have to Relax about and not think about giving specific information.
And so yes, you'll receive specific information, but I think that also people have different definitions for the word specific. So that's where I wanna be clear, because if you're coming in and you just wanna hear names, dates [00:39:00] and you're waiting, you're just waiting to hear it. And then actually you're saying you're open, but you're not, you're, That's huge because for me, sometimes when you're going to get a massage and the massage therapist can't get in there, that's what it feels like for me with certain people.
So if you're really going in there being like, I'm just waiting to hear something specific, you might actually end up being disappointed because I can't get in there because you're blocking me. So Yes and no. I think it
Karen: helps, yeah.
Ground a lot of people who maybe haven't had a reading before. On what to expect. Yeah. Because they may go in there with that list, like I want her to say this, and this. And because they're so locked on that they either miss everything else or they, like you
Nelly: said, they block that. Exactly. And a lot of the time those details or those specifics will come in the middle of the reading or towards the end.
That's what happened yesterday. I was like, Does number 24 make sense? I was like, 24, 24. And she was like, That's the day he died. But that happened 75% of the reading was already done, and a lot of the specifics came at the end, and the way that the [00:40:00] reading started was honestly very general.
Because again, with mediumship it's like, just think about, and I'm sorry, but it's like you die, you're dead. Okay. In this scenario, you're dead. You're trying to come through to your child or your spouse, or a parent or whoever. You'll likely come in. Other teachers will maybe say you're gonna come in with specifics, cuz you want them to know that it's you.
I don't find that, that's not how humans operate. They're like, I'm sorry, I love you. I be here. And so that's what I'm saying. And they're like, What are you talking about? I'm like, I don't know. So it just takes a minute sometimes to really get, I'm like, slow down, they're people.
That's what you have to remember. So , I have a friend who's a medium and this guy came in and he was like, honestly, I had a list of things that if this was my grandma, that she would say, and she hasn't said any of them. So I don't know I'm not getting what I need.
And my grandma's alive and I was just thinking, he knows what his grandma's gonna say. I, whenever I call my grandma, I have no idea what's gonna come out of that woman's mouth. out of her mind. It's do you know what I mean? So it's like, how do you, after she passes, I really have no idea what she's gonna talk about.
Robyn: even for people who have had decent readings prior to [00:41:00] maybe going to you, they have heard things and they're just gonna expect you're gonna say the same things. and to your point, because the energy coming through, it was a person prior they wanna talk about something else.
So they aren't gonna give you the same information. , you need to understand and be open to that. I think it's Oh, we need to underscore
Nelly: that for people. Yeah. It's so important. And then also it's sometimes you'll go to different mediums and hear the same thing or hear from the same people, but sometimes you won't.
I had someone come to me for a reading I think a few months ago, and she was surprised at the end. She was like, Oh, this person didn't come through. They usually come through, this person didn't come through, but someone came through who had never come through in a reading before. And you have to understand that.
The spirits who come through, depending on what medium it is. Think about the people in your life either past or living and mediums that you might go to where you might be like, You know what? This person is so particular. I don't think they'd go to this medium. I barely like this person
You know what I mean? My, my great-grandmother will come through to anybody cuz that's who she is. She'll get along with anybody. But I have a friend who he'll only come through if [00:42:00] he likes you. I'm sorry. It's I get it. The person who came through that she hadn't heard from before, I'm like, I understand this.
Because he's Wait, I feel like his sense of humor, I get his personality. I. So as a spirit felt easier talking to me. . So it's I think we have to bring the humanity back in. Yeah. Wow.
Karen: that's a great way to put it. I would never have thought of that either. Never.
Nelly: That's really helpful.
Robyn: You have shared some really good stories already throughout this conversation. Are there any others or is there one other that you wanna share for people listening are there any stories of transformation?
Nelly: I think some of the most transformative readings for other people are ones where someone comes through who is totally different now than they were when they were here in the physical. So I'll share this story, but. I'm gonna try to keep it really general. So it's not to out anybody, but there's a client I have who is just so wonderful and just trying to keep it general.
[00:43:00] Somebody she loved died because that person was murdered by someone else who also died. And in the reading, both people came through and the person who was the murderer had to talk first. And that was a wild energy to work with. I was like, Listen, I don't know what's going on.
And she was like, Yeah, that makes sense. But he was able to apologize. and which obviously that's not good, how do you apologize for a murder? But I think what people also need to realize about mediumship in terms of transformation and all of that, is it's not just about information that you receive as the sitter.
Sometimes information will come through or a spirit will be able to say something or get something off their chest that will transform the whole energy of the situation and will help release attachment for both them and the sitter. And through this connection, I don't even know how to describe it really, but it's. Just hearing from the person who was murdered and that they were okay. And hearing just the whole situation in general, I think it was probably very different from what she was [00:44:00] expecting to have happen. . But I think it tends, I was talking about this with someone yesterday where they were like, I think it's really mind blowing that people still do work on the other side after they pass.
And so hearing from your parents or hearing from abusive people from the other side and having them really acknowledge pain that they've caused. Yes. Just seeing how much lighter people walk out of those situations. , not that it takes all the pain away or anything like that, but You never expect to hear an apology from someone or you never expect them to acknowledge the details of what happened. I think those are some of the most kind of transformative. how
Robyn: courageous, I'd say even for the person that came to have the reading and most likely wasn't thinking that they were gonna hear from the murderer and here they were. And you have both the victim and the murderer coming through. It changes your perspective on everything, Yeah. In life. We were just having a conversation with someone on the
Robyn: we were talking about [00:45:00] Angels. . .
They had been the victim of abuse, of sexual abuse and it was that at that point in their lives that they started to see angels and they saw an angel with the person that had perpetrated the crime. And for them It didn't take away from the fact the person perpetrate the crime and they didn't want that person to do it to someone else.
However, seeing an angel with that person made them realize no matter what, we all
Nelly: have angels.
Robyn: And so it, I know it's not the same thing, but it does bring that idea of that energy together, that here they are in the afterlife coming together to show the person that came to you that, number one the murderer was sorry.
And that the other person, I don't know if they said that. They forgave them or anything, but at least that they were okay.
Nelly: Yeah. And I think it's it does away with, we live in a very kind of punitive society and I think we have a very kind of Christianized view, in a particular, like hegemonic Christianity view of what how justice works and how the afterlife is and all of that. And I [00:46:00] think, with a lot of indigenous cultures and a lot of what I actually see it's very different. Everything's a lot more balanced. And also you recognize anger in someone because you know what anger feels like within yourself, So it's, we're all capable of harm and we're all capable of, Let's say good. I don't know. And And so I feel like a lot kind of transformation of this work, maybe for me and for other people is rethinking how life even works and how justice even works and why we do it and what, I was gonna ask you
Robyn: about that. Has
Karen: this work changed the way you feel about life after death or your own soul's journey? I'm sure you've learned so much
Nelly: through these readings. Yeah, and I'm not even sure how to name it sometimes because it's just the way that I am is completely different than how I used to be.
I'm a lot calmer. I actually think about the future less. I was just thinking about this recently cuz I have a friend who He's a scientist and he doesn't believe in what I do but I think he thinks about the future a lot [00:47:00] more than I do. I really value how he thinks about things, but it's, I'm like, oh, I'm the psychic and I don't really think about the future that much cuz I see how we have different futures that we can choose based on what we're doing with micro movements.
And I think I just see things from other people's perspectives a lot more and I can feel compassion in a way that also feels detached. But I can be like, Oh, I don't like what this person did is even something extremely horrible, even something that's affected me or my loved ones it's not this I feel like I don't perform emotion as much. I'm not like, Oh, I'm supposed to be outraged, and so I'm outraged. I feel more detached in a way, but in a way that feels healthy. Do you feel like
Robyn: You almost automatically go to, what is it here to teach me kind of thing?
Nelly: more, sometimes, but I also feel like, Cause I've heard that a lot, and I think everyone should do what works for them. But I feel like sometimes the danger of going, What is this here to teach me is you bypass your own feeling. , and sometimes I think that also, that language can be abused in a way where it's like, Oh, [00:48:00] this is here to teach me something.
But when really it's like, Girl, get out of there. Sometimes I do think about what is this here to teach me? But I don't think I go there first. I think I did in the beginning cuz I thought I was supposed to or something, or I couldn't make sense of what was going on. Meaning, oh, dead people are talking to me.
What is going on in my oh, lessons. Okay. But, and now I'll think about lessons and what is something here to teach me, but later, after I process, sometimes you just, I think that's a great point.
Robyn: The processing is important, but I'm also thinking of it as there are these losses, So at some level, , Once you have process, why and where does that fall in your life? And what you know, and or why are certain people not even dead people in your life, , And what is that here to teach you? Is it teach you to be stronger so that you say get away?
, or it's helping you evolve a certain part of yourself more. Who knows? But there's that. I think your point is that maybe eventually you're there, but the processing of something is very important.
Nelly: yeah, I think both are true. I think that's what I'm saying too, [00:49:00] is that I think what I see with a lot of people getting into this work for the first time is they think they're supposed to be superhuman or something, and you start and you start just Just here, like the, I'm fine, everything's great. This was a lesson for me and I just needed to experience that. And it's like, no, get mad, cry ,
Robyn: I talk about this all the time. It's like this is all a journey and in reality and honesty.
And yes, to some level we are fine. However, we have the days where we're like, Please, somebody freaking help me. Like I so down, or I am. And if you can never admit those things or feel 'em then when you actually feel real joy , if you're not gonna feel the shitty parts of things, you're not gonna feel the real elated
Nelly: parts of things either.
Exactly. Yeah. And I think too, for
Karen: you doing the work, first of all, going back to where we started, this is really hard, What you're doing with you, yourself energetically, with those who've crossed over energetically, and then the person in the room, it's serious work to [00:50:00] do what you do. But I think you're probably also starting to see this.
This universality in a way of human experience, where we all agree, we all lose someone. We all try to figure out why we're here, what is our purpose? And that's what you're trying to do is orchestrate and connect the dots for people in a way that
Robyn: they may not have thought about it.
Nelly: Experienced it
Karen: before. And I think that's gotta teach to be an observer and participant in that has to teach you a lot.
Nelly: Yeah. I think one of the things really is just seeing how much people stand in their own weight sometimes, or where, waiting for an external change or for someone to help them receive them when So much can shift and change when you start to take a little bit more responsibility for yourself, but without blaming yourself or making it another aggressive self improvement project, so yeah, I think I feel like doing this work for myself, I guess I would say I live in the moment a little bit more cuz I see how people regret later not doing that, , if I'm excited about something, I just let [00:51:00] myself be excited. . Sometimes even with goals that I have, I'll just be Okay, this is a goal that I have and let me just do the steps and then whatever happens, and maybe I'll end up somewhere else.
I just feel a lot more relaxed about things because I really feel like I see proof all the time of how being extremely anxious about things. doesn't really help. We're trying to control everything. And we only have one life in this body and it in this timeline, and whatever you wanna do.
Besides hurting people, yeah. As long as you're gonna have to deal
Karen: with that on the other side. Yeah, that's right. I'm not gonna apologize. ,
Nelly: If there's something you wanna do, just do it. I think that's a big part of it is how much we wait for permission or try to find the right timing or whatever, and it's no, you can do stuff. Go
Robyn: for it.
Karen: I was just gonna say one last question. we love to offer people who are listening, practices, daily spiritual things that you do to align your energy to reground, to connect. Do you have any of those that you could share?
Nelly: I I take a lot of walks.
Honestly. A lot of my I meditate and I do specific kinds of [00:52:00] meditation. Spiritualists will call it like sitting in the power. you can Google it. There's a lot of meditations like that. But sit with my own energy a lot when I meditate and I just connect with my higher self.
And it's often just getting into a feeling of connectedness and that's how I build up my energy and that's what allows me to do readings. But besides that I take a lot of walks and I exercise, I. Do strength and resistance training and that's really important for me as a way to get energy out.
And I consider it a spiritual practice really cuz I think it doesn't have to look any type of way. So if you're someone who you're like, I can't sit still enough to meditate, it's so listen to meditation music and walk outside or listen to like heavy metal and walk outside, who cares?
I think so much of spiritual practice is about grounding into yourself and I think a lot of my own things that kind of keep me going are more earth based than they used to be just doing things I like and teaching myself discipline.
I think the thing I really like about exercise too [00:53:00] is that it's really hard and putting my body through difficult things and building up strength and being like, Oh, I did this and I can do this. To me, that's a spiritual practice, so it's just pushing yourself in some way.
Making yourself uncomfortable in a way that isn't dangerous, but just stretching a rubber band a little bit, those are the kinds of practices I would say that kind of keep me grounded. And I just wanna say all that because I guess I'm repeating myself, but I do think people have one view of what spirituality has to look like.
What alignment has to look like, or this person said that they do it this way and then they're happy all the time and I'm not feeling that, what's wrong with me? And it's like, no, just go laugh with your friends or something like that.
Robyn: And just going back to when you talked about exercise or meditation, consistency is key.
Yes. So it's whatever it is, figure out how you can incorporate it into however many times a week. If it's something that's, meditation might be easier to do every day and maybe exercises almost every day, but it's more that there's consistency with [00:54:00] it. Exactly. You're constantly, keeping that groundedness
Nelly: and connection.
And building up a practice. Getting better at something, I think that helps so
Nelly: I think people think of spirituality or connection as going outside of the body.
And that's not true. the earth is our ancestor too. Trees are our ancestors, and through exercise or taking walks and noticing things your intuition works through that. So actually the more grounded you are the more you're able to have spiritual and intuitive experiences,
Robyn: Thank you. Oh my God, so much here. Oh my goodness.
This is a treasure trove. I believe it really is. Guidance and wisdom and as truth as you know it. And as Karen and I know it, and, we really hope that people walk away with a better understanding of their own intuition as well as what to expect from these types of readings.
Nelly: thank you. Thank you. This is so much.
Robyn: You can find out more about working with Nelly, her workshops or special email@example.com. That's N E [00:55:00] L L Y R E Z N I k.com. You can also follow Nelly on Instagram
at Nelly Resnick. Thank you.